SCENE II.
A publick road near Coventry.
Enter Falstaff, and Bardolph.
Fal.
Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill
me a bottle of sack: our soldiers shall march
through; we'll to Sutton-Colfield to-night.
Bard.
Will you give me money, captain?
Fal.
Lay out, lay out.
Bard.
This bottle makes an angel.
Fal.
An it do, take it for thy labour; and if it
-- 390 --
make twenty, take them all, I'll answer the coinage.
Bid my 5 notelieutenant Peto meet me at the town's end.
Bard.
I will, captain: farewel.
[Exit.
Fal.
If I be not asham'd of my soldiers, I am a
6 note
souc'd gurnet. I have mis-us'd the king's press
damnably. I have got, in exchange of a hundred
and fifty soldiers, three hundred and odd pounds. I
press me none but good housholders, yeomen's sons:
enquire me out contracted batchelors, such as had
been ask'd twice on the bans; such a commodity of
warm slaves, as had as lief hear the devil as a drum;
such as fear the report of a caliver, 7 note
worse than a
-- 391 --
struck fowl, or a hurt wild-duck. I prest me none
but such toasts and butter8 note
, with hearts in their bellies
no bigger than pins' heads, and they have bought out
their services; and now my whole charge consists of
ancients, corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of companies,
slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted
cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked his sores: and
such as, indeed, were never soldiers; but discarded unjust
servingmen, 9 note
younger sons to younger brothers,
revolted tapsters, and ostlers trade-fallen; the cankers
of a calm world1 note
, and a long peace; 2 note
ten times more
-- 392 --
dishonourably ragged, than an old fac'd ancient!
and such have I, to fill up the rooms of them that have
bought out their services; that you would think, I
had a hundred and fifty tatter'd prodigals, lately come
from swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A
mad fellow met me on the way, and told me, I had
unloaded all the gibbets, and press'd the dead bodies.
No eye hath seen such scare-crows. I'll not march
through Coventry with them, that's flat:—Nay, and
the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they
had 3 note
gyves on; for, indeed, I had the most of them
-- 393 --
out of prison. There's but a shirt and a half in all
my company: and the half-shirt is two napkins, tack'd
together, and thrown over the shoulders like a herald's
coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the
truth, stolen from my host of saint Albans, or the rednose
inn-keeper of Daintry. But that's all one;
they'll find linen enough on every hedge.
Enter Prince Henry, and Westmoreland.
P. Henry.
How now, blown Jack? how now,
quilt?
Fal.
What, Hal? How now, mad wag? what a
devil dost thou in Warwickshire?—My good lord of
Westmoreland, I cry you mercy; I thought, your
honour had already been at Shrewsbury.
West.
'Faith, sir John, 'tis more than time that I
were there, and you too; but my powers are there
already: The king, I can tell you, looks for us all;
we must away all night.
Fal.
Tut, never fear me; I am as vigilant, as a cat
to steal cream.
P. Henry.
I think, to steal cream indeed; for thy
theft hath already made thee butter. But tell me,
Jack; Whose fellows are these that come after?
Fal.
Mine, Hal, mine.
P. Henry.
I did never see such pitiful rascals.
Fal.
Tut, tut; 4 notegood enough to toss; food for
powder, food for powder; they'll fill a pit, as well
as better: tush, man, mortal men, mortal men.
West.
Ay, but, sir John, methinks, they are exceeding
poor and bare; too beggarly.
-- 394 --
Fal.
'Faith, for their poverty,—I know not where
they had that: and for their bareness,—I am sure, they
never learn'd that of me.
P. Henry.
No, I'll be sworn; unless you call three
fingers on the ribs, bare. But, sirrah, make haste;
Percy is already in the field.
Fal.
What, is the king encamp'd?
West.
He is, sir John; I fear, we shall stay too
long.
Fal.
Well,
To the latter end of a fray, and the beginning of a feast,
Fits a dull fighter, and a keen guest.
[Exeunt.
Samuel Johnson [1778], The plays of William Shakspeare. In ten volumes. With the corrections and illustrations of various commentators; to which are added notes by Samuel Johnson and George Steevens. The second edition, Revised and Augmented (Printed for C. Bathurst [and] W. Strahan [etc.], London) [word count] [S10901].
