SCENE VI.
Enter Bertram, and the two French Lords.
1 Lord.
Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let
him have his way.
2 Lord.
If your lordship find him not a hilding,
hold me no more in your respect.
1 Lord.
On my life, my lord, a bubble.
Ber.
Do you think, I am so far deceiv'd in him?
1 Lord.
Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct
knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him
as my kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite
and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the
owner of no one good quality worthy your lordship's
entertainment.
2 Lord.
It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing
too far in his virtue, which he hath not, he might, at
some great and trusty business, in a main danger, fail
you.
Ber.
I would, I knew in what particular action to
try him.
2 Lord.
None better than to let him fetch off his
drum, which you hear him so confidently undertake
to do.
-- 89 --
1 Lord.
I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly
surprize him; such I will have, whom, I am sure,
he knows not from the enemy: we will bind and
hood-wink him so, that he shall suppose no other but
that he is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries,
when we bring him to our own tents: Be but your
lordship present at his examination; if he do not, for
the promise of his life, and in the highest compulsion
of base fear, offer to betray you, and deliver all
the intelligence in his power against you, and that
with the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never
trust my judgment in any thing.
2 Lord.
O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch
his drum; he says, he has a stratagem for't: 8 note
when
your lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and
-- 90 --
to what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be
melted, if you give him not John Drum's entertainment,
your inclining cannot be removed. Here he
comes.
Enter Parolles.
1 Lord.
O, for the love of laughter, hinder not the
humour of his design; let him fetch off his drum in
any hand1 note.
Ber.
How now, monsieur? this drum sticks sorely
in your disposition.
2 Lord.
A pox on't, let it go; 'tis but a drum.
Par.
But a drum! Is't but a drum? A drum so lost!
There was an excellent command! to charge in with
our horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own
soldiers.
2 Lord.
That was not to be blamed in the command
of the service; it was a disaster of war that Cæsar
himself could not have prevented, if he had been there
to command.
Ber.
Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success:
some dishonour we had, in the loss of that drum; but
it is not to be recover'd.
-- 91 --
Par.
It might have been recover'd.
Ber.
It might; but it is not now.
Par.
It is to be recover'd: but that the merit of
service is seldom attributed to the true and exact performer,
I would have that drum or another, or hic
jacet.
Ber.
Why, if you have a stomach to't, monsieur,
if you think your mystery in stratagem can bring this
instrument of honour again into its native quarter, be
magnanimous in the enterprize, and go on; I will
grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you speed
well in it, the duke shall both speak of it, and extend
to you what further becomes his greatness, even
to the utmost syllable of your worthiness.
Par.
By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.
Ber.
But you must not now slumber in it.
Par.
I'll about it this evening: and 2 note
I will presently
pen down my dilemma's, encourage myself in
my certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation,
and, by midnight, look to hear further from me.
Ber.
May I be bold to acquaint his grace, you are
gone about it?
Par.
I know not what the success will be, my lord;
but the attempt I vow.
Ber.
I know, thou art valiant; and, to the 3 note
possibility
of thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee.
Farewel.
-- 92 --
Par.
I love not many words.
[Exit.
1 Lord.
No more than a fish loves water.—Is not
this a strange fellow, my lord? that so confidently
seems to undertake this business, which he knows is
not to be done; damns himself to do, and dares better
be damn'd than do't?
2 Lord.
You do not know him, my lord, as we
do: certain it is, that he will steal himself into a man's
favour, and, for a week, escape a great deal of discoveries;
but when you find him out, you have him
ever after.
Ber.
Why, do you think, he will make no deed
at all of this, that so seriously he does address himself
unto?
2 Lord.
None in the world; but return with an invention,
and clap upon you two or three probable
lies: but we have almost4 note
imboss'd him, you shall
-- 93 --
see his fall to-night; for, indeed, he is not for your
lordship's respect.
1 Lord.
We'll make you some sport with the fox,
ere5 note we case him. He was first smok'd by the old
lord Lafeu: when his disguise and he is parted, tell
me what a sprat you shall find him; which you shall
see this very night.
2 Lord.
I must go look my twigs; he shall be
caught.
Ber.
Your brother, he shall go along with me.
2 Lord.
As't please your lordship: I'll leave you.
[Exit.
Ber.
Now will I lead you to the house, and shew you
The lass I spoke of.
1 Lord.
But, you say, she's honest.
Ber.
That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once,
And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her,
By this same coxcomb that we have i'the wind,
Tokens and letters, which she did re-send;
And this is all I have done: She's a fair creature;
Will you go see her?
1 Lord.
With all my heart, my lord.
[Exeunt.
Samuel Johnson [1778], The plays of William Shakspeare. In ten volumes. With the corrections and illustrations of various commentators; to which are added notes by Samuel Johnson and George Steevens. The second edition, Revised and Augmented (Printed for C. Bathurst [and] W. Strahan [etc.], London) [word count] [S10901].
