SCENE I.
A Pavilion in the Park near the Palace.
Enter the Princess, Rosaline, Maria, Katharine, Lords, Attendants, and a Forester.
Prin.
Was that the king, that spurr'd his horse so hard
Against the steep uprising of the hill?
Boyet.
I know not; but, I think, it was not he.
Prin.
Whoe'er he was, he shew'd a mounting mind.
Well, lords, to-day we shall have our dispatch;
On saturday we will return to France.—
Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush,
That we must stand and play the murderer in?
For.
Here by, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
A stand, where you may make the fairest shoot.
Prin.
I thank my beauty; I am fair that shoot,
And thereupon thou speak'st, the fairest shoot.
For.
Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so.
Prin.
What, what? first praise me, then again say, no?
O short-liv'd pride! Not fair? alack for woe!
For.
Yes, madam, fair.
Prin.
Nay, never paint me now;
Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the brow.
-- 425 --
2 note
Here, good my glass, take this for telling true;
[Giving him money.
Fair payment for foul words is more than due.
For.
Nothing but fair is that which you inherit.
Prin.
See, see, my beauty will be sav'd by merit.
O heresy in fair, fit for these days!
A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.—
But come, the bow:—Now mercy goes to kill,
And shooting well is then accounted ill.
Thus will I save my credit in the shoot:
Not wounding, pity would not let me do't;
If wounding, then it was to shew my skill,
That more for praise, than purpose, meant to kill,
And, out of question, so it is sometimes;
Glory grows guilty of detested crimes;
When, for fame's sake, for praise, an outward part3 note
,
We bend to that the working of the heart:
-- 426 --
As I, for praise alone, now seek to spill
The poor deer's blood, that my heart means no ill4 note
.
Boyet.
Do not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty
Only for praise' sake, when they strive to be
Lords o'er their lords?
Prin.
Only for praise: and praise we may afford
To any lady that subdues a lord.
Enter Costard.
Prin.
Here comes a member of the commonwealth5 note.
Cost.
God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the
head lady?
Prin.
Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that
have no heads.
Cost.
Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
Prin.
The thickest, and the tallest.
Cost.
The thickest, and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
An your waist mistress, were as slender as my wit6 note
,
One of these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit.
-- 427 --
Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here.
Prin.
What's your will, sir? what's your will?
Cost.
I have a letter from monsieur Biron, to one lady Rosaline.
Prin.
O, thy letter, thy letter; he's a good friend of mine:
Stand aside, good bearer.—Boyet, you can carve;
Break up this capon7 note
.
Boyet.
I am bound to serve.—
This letter is mistook, it importeth none here;
It is writ to Jaquenetta.
Prin.
We will read it, I swear:
-- 428 --
Break the neck of the wax8 note
, and every one give ear.
Boyet reads.
By heaven, that thou art fair, is most
infallible; true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that
thou art lovely: More fairer than fair9 note, beautiful than
beauteous, truer than truth itself, have commiseration on
thy heroical vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate1 note
king Cophetua2 note
set eye upon the pernicious and indubitate
beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might
rightly say, veni, vidi, vici; which to anatomize in
the vulgar, (O base and obscure vulgar!) videlicet, he
came, saw, and overcame: He came, one; saw, two;
overcame, three. Who came? the king; Why did he
come? to see; Why did he see? to overcome: To whom
came he? to the beggar; What saw he? the beggar;
Whom overcame he? the beggar: The conclusion is victory;
On whose side? the king's: the captive is enrich'd;
On whose side? the beggar's: The catastrophe
is a nuptial; On whose side? the king's?—no; on both
in one, or one in both. I am the king; for so stands
-- 429 --
the comparison: thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy
lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may: Shall I
enforce thy love? I could: Shall I entreat thy love? I
will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes; For
tittles? titles: For thyself? me. Thus, expecting thy
reply, I prophane my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy
picture, and my heart on thy every part.
Thine, in the dearest design of industry,
Don Adriano de Armado.
3 noteThus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar
'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey,
Submissive fall his princely feet before,
And he from forage will incline to play:
But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then?
Food for his rage, repasture for his den.
Prin.
What plume of feathers is he, that indited this letter?
What vane? what weather-cock? Did you ever hear better?
Boyet.
I am much deceived, but I remember the stile.
Prin.
Else your memory is bad, going o'er it4 note ere while5 note
.
Boyet.
This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;
A phantasm6 note, a Monarcho7 note
; and one that makes sport
-- 430 --
To the prince, and his book-mates.
Prin.
Thou, fellow, a word:
Who gave thee this letter?
Cost.
I told you; my lord.
Prin.
To whom shouldst thou give it?
Cost.
From my lord to my lady.
Prin.
From which lord, to which lady?
Cost.
From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
To a lady of France, that he call'd Rosaline.
Prin.
Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away8 note
.
-- 431 --
Here, sweet, put up this; 'twill be thine another day.
[Exit Princess attended.
Boyet.
Who is the shooter 9Q0253? who is the shooter9 note
?
Ros.
Shall I teach you to know?
Boyet.
Ay, my continent of beauty.
Ros.
Why, she that bears the bow.
Finely put off!
Boyet.
My lady goes to kill horns; but, if thou marry,
Hang me by the neck, if horns that year miscarry.
Finely put on!
Ros.
Well then, I am the shooter.
Boyet.
And who is your deer?
Ros.
If we chuse by horns, yourself; come not near.
Finely put on, indeed!—
Mar.
You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes at the brow.
Boyet.
But she herself is hit lower: Have I hit her now?
Ros.
Shall I come upon thee with an old saying,
that was a man when king Pepin of France was a
little boy, as touching the hit it?
Boyet.
So I may answer thee with one as old, that
was a woman when 1 note
queen Guinever of Britain was a
little wench, as touching the hit it.
-- 432 --
Ros.
Thou can'st not hit it, hit it, hit it,
[Singing.
Thou can'st not hit it, my good man.
Boyet.
An I cannot, cannot, cannot,
An I cannot, another can.
[Exeunt Ros. & Kat.
Cost.
By my troth, most pleasant! how both did fit it!
Mar.
A mark marvellous well shot; for they both did hit it.
Boyet.
A mark! O, mark but that mark; A mark, says my lady!
Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be.
Mar.
Wide o'the bow hand! I'faith, your hand is out.
Cost.
Indeed, a'must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout2 note.
Boyet.
An if my hand be out, then, belike, your hand is in.
Cost.
Then will she get the upshot by cleaving the pin.
Mar.
Come, come, you talk greasily, your lips grow foul.
Cost.
She's too hard for you at pricks, Sir; challenge her to bowl.
Boyet.
I fear too much rubbing: Good night, my good owl.
[Exeunt all but Costard.
Cost.
By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown!
Lord, lord! how the ladies and I have put him down!
O'my troth, most sweet jests! most incony vulgar wit!
When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it were, so fit.
-- 433 --
Armatho o' the one side,—O, a most dainty man!
To see him walk before a lady, and to bear her fan3 note!
To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a' will swear!—
And his page o' t'other side, that handful of wit!
Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit!
Sola, sola!
[Shouting within.
[Exit Costard.
Samuel Johnson [1778], The plays of William Shakspeare. In ten volumes. With the corrections and illustrations of various commentators; to which are added notes by Samuel Johnson and George Steevens. The second edition, Revised and Augmented (Printed for C. Bathurst [and] W. Strahan [etc.], London) [word count] [S10901].
