King.
Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
Live registred upon our brazen tombs,
And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
When, spight of cormorant devouring time,
The endeavour of this present breath may buy
That honour, which shall bate his scythe's keen edge,
And make us heirs of all eternity.
Therefore, brave conquerors!—for so you are,
That war against your own affections,
And the huge army of the world's desires,—
Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
Our court shall be a little Academe,
Still and contemplative in living art.
You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
Have sworn for three years' term to live with me,
My fellow scholars, and to keep those statutes,
That are recorded in this schedule here:
Your oaths are past, and now subscribe your names;
That his own hand may strike his honour down,
That violates the smallest branch herein:

If you are arm'd to do, as sworn to do,
Subscribe to your deep oath, and keep it too.

Long.
I am resolv'd: 'tis but a three years fast;
The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
Fat paunches have lean pates; and dainty bits
Make rich the ribs, but bankerout the wits.

Dum.
My loving lord, Dumain is mortify'd;
The grosser manner of these world's delights
He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves
To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
With all these living in philosophy^{2 note}.

Biron.
I can but say their protestation over,
So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
That is, To live and study here three years.
But there are other strict observances:
As, not to see a woman in that term;
Which, I hope well, is not enrolled there.
And, one day in a week to touch no food;
And but one meal on every day beside;
The which, I hope, is not enrolled there.
And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
And not be seen to wink of all the day;
(When I was wont to think no harm all night,
And make a dark night too of half the day)
Which, I hope well, is not enrolled there.
O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep;
Not to see ladies, study, fast, nor sleep^{3 note}.

King.
Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.

Biron.
Let me say, no, my liege, an if you please;
I only swore, to study with your grace,
And stay here in your court for three years' space.

Long.
You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.

Biron.
By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.—
What is the end of study? let me know.

King.
Why, that to know, which else we should not know.

Biron.
Things hid and barr'd (you mean) from common sense?

King.
Ay, that is study's god-like recompence.

Biron.
Come on then, I will swear to study so,
To know the thing I am forbid to know:
As thus,—To study where I well may dine,
  When I to feast expresly am forbid^{4 note}

King.
These be the stops that hinder study quite,
And train our intellects to vain delight.

Biron.
Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
Which, with pain purchas'd, doth inherit pain:
As, painfully to pore upon a book,
  To seek the light of truth; while truth the while^{5 note}

Doth falsly blind the eye-sight of his look:

  Light, seeking light, doth light of light beguile:
So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
Study me how to please the eye indeed,
  By fixing it upon a fairer eye;
Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed^{6 note}
,
  And give him light that was it blinded by.
Study is like the heaven's glorious sun,
  That will not be deep search'd with sawcy looks;
Small have continual plodders ever won,
  Save base authority from others' books.
These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights,
  That give a name to every fixed star,
Have no more profit of their shining nights,
  Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
^{7 note}

King.
How well he's read, to reason against reading!

Dum.
Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding^{8 note}!

Long.
He weeds the corn, and still lets grow the weeding.

Biron.
The spring is near, when green geese are a breeding.

Dum.
How follows that?

Biron.
Fit in his place and time.

Dum.
In reason nothing.

Biron.
Something then in rhime.

Long.
Biron is like an envious sneaping frost^{9 note},
  That bites the first-born infants of the spring.

Biron.
Well, say I am? why should proud summer boast,
  Before the birds have any cause to sing?
Why should I joy in an abortive birth^{1 note}

At Christmas I no more desire a rose,
Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled shows;
But like of each thing, that in season grows.
So you, to study now it is too late,
That were to climb o'er the house t'unlock the gate.

King.
Well, sit you out: go home, Biron; adieu!

Biron.
No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
And, though I have for barbarism spoke more,
  Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore,
  And bide the penance of each three years' day.
Give me the paper, let me read the same;
And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.

King.
How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!

Biron.

Item, That no woman shall come within a mile of my court. [Reading.] Hath this been proclaimed?

Long.

Four days ago.

Biron.

Let's see the penalty.—On pain of losing her tongue.—[Reading.] Who devis'd this penalty?

Long.
Marry, that did I.

Biron.
Sweet lord, and why?

Long.
To fright them hence with that dread penalty.

Biron.
A dangerous law against gentility^{3 note}!

Item, [Reading.] If any man be seen to talk with a woman within the term of three years, he shall endure such publick shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.—

King.
What say you, lords? why, this was quite forgot.

Biron.
So study evermore is overshot;
While it doth study to have what it would,
It doth forget to do the thing it should:
And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
'Tis won, as towns with fire; so won, so lost.

King.
We must, of force, dispense with this decree;
She must lye here on mere necessity.

Biron.
Necessity will make us all forsworn
  Three thousand times within this three years space:

For every man with his affects is born;
  Not by might master'd, but by special grace^{4 note};
If I break faith, this word shall speak for me,
I am forsworn on mere necessity.—
So to the laws at large I write my name:
  And he, that breaks them in the least degree,
Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
  Suggestions^{5 note} are to others, as to me;
But, I believe, although I seem so loth,
I am the last that will last keep his oath.
But is there no quick recreation^{6 note} granted?

King.
Ay, that there is: our court, you know, is haunted
  With a refined traveller of Spain;
A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
  That hath a mint of phrases in his brain:
One, whom the musick of his own vain tongue
  Doth ravish, like inchanting harmony;
^{7 note}

This child of fancy, that Armado hight,9Q0248
  For interim to our studies, shall relate,

In high-born words, the worth of many a knight
  ^{8 note}From tawny Spain, lost in the world's debate^{9 note}.
How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
But, I protest, I love to hear him lie,
And I will use him for my minstrelsy.

Biron.
Armado is a most illustrious wight,
A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.

Long.
Costard the swain, and he, shall be our sport;
And, so to study, three years is but short. Enter Dull, and Costard, with a letter.

Dull.
Which is the duke's own person^{1 note}

Biron.
This, fellow; What would'st?

Dull.

I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his grace's tharborough^{2 note}: but I would see his own person in flesh and blood.

Biron.

This is he.

Dull.

Signior Arme—, Arme,—commends you. There's villainy abroad; this letter will tell you more.

Cost.

Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.

King.

A letter from the magnificent Armado.

Biron.

How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.

Long.

A high hope for a low having^{3 note}

Biron.

To hear? or forbear hearing?

Long.

To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to forbear both.

Biron.

Well, sir, be it as the stile shall give us cause to climb in the merriness.

Cost.

The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta. The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner^{4 note}

Biron.

In what manner?

Cost.

In manner and form following, sir; all those three: I was seen with her in the manor house, sitting with her upon the form, and taken following her into the park; which, put together, is, in manner and form following. Now, sir, for the manner,—it is the manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,—in some form.

Biron.

For the following, sir?

Cost.

As it shall follow in my correction; And God defend the right!

King.

Will you hear the letter with attention?

Biron.

As we would hear an oracle.

Cost.

Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.

King. [Reads.]

Great deputy, the welkin's vice-gerent, and sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's God, and body's soft'ring patron,—

Cost.

Not a word of Costard yet:

King.

So it is,—

Cost.

It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in telling true, but so, so.

King.

Peace.

Cost.

—be to me, and every man that dares not fight!

King.

No words.

Cost.

—of other men's secrets, I beseech you.

King.

So it is, besieged with sable-coloured melancholy, I did commend the black oppressing humour to the most wholesome physick of thy health-giving air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to walk. The time, when? About the sixth hour; when beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down to that nourishment which is called supper. So much for the time when: Now for

the ground which; which, I mean, I walk'd upon: it is ycleped, thy park. Then for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous event, that draweth from my snow-white pen the ebon-colour'd ink, which here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest: But to the place, where,—It standeth north-north-east and by east from the west corner of thy curious-knotted garden: There did I see that low-spirited swain, that base minnow of thy mirth^{5 note}

(Cost.

Me.)

that unletter'd small-knowing soul,

(Cost.

Me.)

that shallow vassal,

(Cost.

Still me.)

which, as I remember, hight Costard,

(Cost.

O me!)

sorted and consorted, contrary to thy established proclaimed edict and continent canon; with,— with—O with,—but with this I passion to say wherewith—

Cost.

With a wench.

King.

with a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a woman. Him, I (as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on) have sent to thee, to receive the meed of punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and estimation.

Dull.

Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.

King.

For Jaquenetta, (so is the weaker vessel called which I apprehended with the aforesaid swain) I keep her as a vessel of thy law's fury; and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted and heart-burning heat of duty,

Don Adriano de Armado.

Biron.

This is not so well as I look'd for, but the best that ever I heard.

King.

Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say you to this?

Cost.

Sir, I confess the wench.

King.

Did you hear the proclamation?

Cost.

I do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it^{6 note}

King.

It was proclaim'd a year's imprisonment to be taken with a wench.

Cost.

I was taken with none, sir; I was taken with a damosel.

King.

Well, it was proclaimed damosel.

Cost.

This was no damosel neither, sir; she was a virgin.

King.

It is so varied too; for it was proclaim'd, virgin.

Cost.

If it were, I deny her virginity; I was taken with a maid.

King.

This maid will not serve your turn, sir.

Cost.

This maid will serve my turn, sir.

King.

Sir, I will pronounce sentence; You shall fast a week with bran and water.

Cost.

I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

King.
And Don Armado shall be your keeper.—
My lord Biron, see him delivered o'er.—
And go we, lords, to put in practice that
  Which each to other hath so strongly sworn. [Exeunt.

Biron.
I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
  These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.—
Sirrah, come on.

Cost.

I suffer for the truth, sir: for true it is, I was taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true girl; and therefore, Welcome the sour cup of prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again, and 'till then, Sit thee down, sorrow!