Leon.

I learn in this letter, that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina.

Mess.

He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I left him.

Leon.

How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?

Mess.

But few of any sort^{2 note}
, and none of name.

Leon.

A victory is twice itself, when the atchiever brings home full numbers. I find here, that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine, call'd Claudio.

Mess.

Much deserv'd on his part, and equally remembered by Don Pedro: He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age; doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath, indeed, better better'd expectation, than you must expect of me to tell you how.

Leon.

He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it.

Mess.

I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much, that ^{3 note}

Leon.

Did he break out into tears?

Mess.

In great measure.

Leon.

A kind overflow of kindness: There are no faces truer^{4 note} than those that are so wash'd. How much better is it to weep at joy, than to joy at weeping?

Beat.

I pray you, ^{5 note}

Mess.

I know none of that name, lady; ^{6 note}there was none such in the army of any sort.

Leon.

What is he that you ask for, niece?

Hero.

My cousin means signior Benedick of Padua.

Mess.

O, he's return'd; and as pleasant as ever he was.

Beat.

^{7 note}

Mess.

He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.

Beat.

You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he's a very valiant trencher-man, he hath an excellent stomach.

Mess.

And a good soldier too, lady.

Beat.

And a good soldier to a lady;—But what is he to a lord?

Mess.

A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuff'd with all honourable virtues^{1 note}

Beat.

It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuff'd man^{2 note}: but for the stuffing,—well, we are all mortal.

Leon.

You must not, sir, mistake my niece: there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Benedick and her: they never meet, but there's a skirmish of wit between them.

Beat.

Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict, four of his ^{3 note}

Mess.

I see, lady, ^{7 note}

Beat.

No: an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no ^{8 note}young squarer now, that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

Mess.

He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

Beat.

O lord! He will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pounds ere he be cur'd.

Mess.

I will hold friends with you, lady.

Beat.

Do, good friend.

Leon.

You'll ne'er run mad, niece.

Beat.

No, not 'till a hot January.

Mess.

Don Pedro is approach'd.

Pedro.

Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.

Leon.

Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but, when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave.

Pedro.

You embrace your ^{9 note}charge too willingly.— I think, this is your daughter.

Leon.

Her mother hath many times told me so.

Bene.

Were you in doubt, sir, that you ask'd her?

Leon.

Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.

Pedro.

You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself:—Be happy, lady! for you are like an honourable father.

Bene.

If signior Leonato be her father, she would

not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.

Beat.

I wonder, that you will still be talking, signior Benedick; no body marks you.

Bene.

What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living?

Beat.

Is it possible, disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it, as signior Benedick^{1 note}

Bene.

Then is courtesy a turn-coat:—But it is certain, I am lov'd of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.

Beat.

A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.

Bene.

God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratch'd face.

Beat.

Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were.

Bene.

Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

Beat.

A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of yours.

Bene.

I would, my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a continuer: But keep your way o'God's name; I have done.

Beat.

You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old.

Pedro.

This is the sum of all: Leonato,—signior Claudio, and signior Benedick,—my dear friend Leonato

hath invited you all. I tell him, we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays, some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.

Leon.

If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.— Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.

John.

I thank you^{2 note}: I am not of many words, but I thank you.

Leon.

Please it your grace lead on?

Pedro.

Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.

Claud.

Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato?

Bene.

I noted her not; but I look'd on her.

Claud.

Is she not a modest young lady?

Bene.

Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment? or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?

Claud.

No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment.

Bene.

Why, i'faith, methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her; that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her.

Claud.

Thou think'st, I am in sport; I pray thee, tell me truly how thou lik'st her.

Bene.

Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?

Claud.

Can the world buy such a jewel?

Bene.

Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting

Jack; to tell us Cupid is ^{3 note}

Claud.

In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that I ever looked on.

Bene.

I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possess'd with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope, you have no intent to turn husband; have you?

Claud.

I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would by my wife.

Bene.

Is't come to this, i'faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear ^{5 note}his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a batchelor of threescore again? Go to, i'faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and ^{6 note}

Pedro.

What secret hath held you here, that you follow'd not to Leonato's?

Bene.

I would, your grace would constrain me to tell.

Pedro.

I charge thee on thy allegiance.

Bene.

You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,—mark you this, on my allegiance.—He is in love. With who?—now that is your grace's part.—mark, how short his answer is:—With Hero, Leonato's short daughter.

Claud.

If this were so, so were it uttered^{7 note}

Bene.

Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.

Claud.

If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise.

Pedro.

Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well worthy.

Claud.

You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.

Pedro.

By my troth, I speak my thought.

Claud.

And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

Bene.

And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I speak mine.

Claud.

That I love her, I feel.

Pedro.

That she is worthy, I know.

Bene.

That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake.

Pedro.

Thou wast ever an obstinate heretick in the despight of beauty.

Claud.

And never could maintain his part, ^{2 note}but in the force of his will.

Bene.

That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead^{3 note}

invisible baldrick^{4 note}

Pedro.

I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

Bene.

With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love: prove, that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid.

Pedro.

Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument^{5 note}.

Bene.

If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat^{6 note}

shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clap'd on the shoulder, and call'd^{7 note}

Pedro.
Well, as time shall try:
In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke^{8 note}.

Bene.

The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, Here is good horse to hire, let them signify under my sign,— Here you may see Benedick the marry'd man.

Claud.

If this should ever happen, thou would'st be horn-mad.

Pedro.

Nay, ^{9 note}if Cupid hath not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.

Bene.

I look for an earthquake too then.

Pedro.

Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's; commend me to him, and tell him, I will not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he hath made great preparation.

Bene.

I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you—

Claud.

To the tuition of God; from my house, (if I had it,)—

Pedro.

The sixth of July; your loving friend, Benedick.

Bene.

Nay, mock not, mock not: The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments^{1 note}

Claud.
My liege, your highness now may do me good.

Pedro.
My love is thine to teach; teach it but how,
And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
Any hard lesson that may do thee good.

Claud.
Hath Leonato any son, my lord?

Pedro.
No child but Hero, she's his only heir:
Dost thou affect her Claudio?

Claud.
O my lord,

When you went onward on this ended action,
I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
That lik'd, but had a rougher task in hand
Than to drive liking to the name of love:
But now I am return'd, and that war-thoughts
Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
Saying, I lik'd her ere I went to wars.

Pedro.
Thou wilt be like a lover presently,
And tire the hearer with a book of words:
If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it;
And I will break with her, and with her father,
And thou shalt have her: Was't not to this end,
That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?

Claud.
How sweetly do you minister to love,
That know love's grief by his complection!
But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise.

Pedro.
What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
^{3 note}The fairest grant is the necessity:
Look, what will serve, is fit: 'tis once, thou lov'st;
And I will fit thee with the remedy.
I know, we shall have revelling to night;
I will assume thy part in some disguise,
And tell fair Hero I am Claudio;
And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart,
And take her hearing prisoner with the force
And strong encounter of my amorous tale:
Then, after, to her father will I break;
And, the conclusion is, she shall be thine:
In practice let us put it presently. [Exeunt.

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