Enter Elbow, Froth, Clown, Officers, &c.

Elb.

Come, bring them away: if these be good people in a common-weal, that do nothing but use

their abuses in common houses, I know no law: bring them away.

Ang.

How now, sir! What's your name? and what's the matter?

Elb.

If it please your honour, I am the poor duke's constable, and my name is Elbow; I do lean upon justice, sir, and do bring in here before your good honour two notorious benefactors.

Ang.

Benefactors? Well; what benefactors are they? are they not malefactors?

Elb.

If it please your honour, I know not well what they are: but precise villains they are, that I am sure of; and void of all profanation in the world, that good christians ought to have.

Escal.

^{8 note}

Ang.

Go to: What quality are they of? Elbow is your name? Why dost thou not speak, Elbow^{9 note}?

Clown.

He cannot, sir; he's out at elbow.

Ang.

What are you, sir?

Elb.

He, sir? a tapster, sir; parcel-bawd^{1 note}

Escal.

How know you that?

Elb.

My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and your honour,—

Escal.

How! thy wife?

Elb.

Ay, sir; whom, I thank heaven, is an honest woman;—

Escal.

Dost thou detest her therefore?

Elb.

I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd's house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.

Escal.

How dost thou know that, constable?

Elb.

Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanness there.

Escal.

By the woman's means?

Elb.

Ay, sir, by mistress Over-done's means^{3 note}: but as she spit in his face, so she defy'd him.

Clown.

Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.

Elb.

Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man, prove it.

Escal.

Do you hear how he misplaces?

Clown.

Sir, she came in great with child; and longing (saving your honour's reverence) for stew'd prunes^{4 note}; sir, we had but two in the house, which at that very distant time stood as it were, in a fruit-dish, a dish of some three pence; your honours have seen such dishes; they are not China dishes, but very good dishes.

Escal.

Go to, go to; no matter for the dish, sir.

Clown.

No, indeed, sir, not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but, to the point: As I say, this mistress Elbow, being, as I say, with child, and being great belly'd, and longing, as I said, for prunes; and having but two in the dish, as I said, master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the rest, as I said, and, as I say, paying for them very honestly;—for, as you know, master Froth, I could not give you three pence again.

Froth.

No, indeed.

Clown.

Very well: you being then, if you be remember'd, cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes.

Froth.

Ay, so I did, indeed.

Clown.

Why, very well: I telling you then, if you be remember'd, that such a one, and such a one, were

past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very good diet, as I told you.

Froth.

All this is true.

Clown.

Why, very well then.

Escal.

Come, you are a tedious fool: to the purpose.—What was done to Elbow's wife, that he hath cause to complain of? come me to what was done to her.

Clown.

Sir, your honour cannot come to that yet.

Escal.

No, sir, nor I mean it not.

Clown.

Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honour's leave: And, I beseech you, look into master Froth here, sir; a man of fourscore pound a year; whose father dy'd at Hallowmas:—Was't not at Hallowmas, master Froth?

Froth.

All-hollond eve.

Clown.

Why, very well; I hope here be truths: He, sir, sitting, as I say, in a lower chair, sir;—'twas in the Bunch of grapes, where, indeed, you have a delight to sit, Have you not?

Froth.

I have so; because it is an open room, and good for winter.

Clown.

Why, very well then;—I hope here be truths.

Ang.
This will last out a night in Russia,
When nights are longest there: I'll take my leave,
And leave you to the hearing of the cause;
Hoping, you'll find good cause to whip them all.

Escal.
I think no less: Good morrow to your lordship. [Exit Angelo.

Now, sir, come on: What was done to Elbow's wife, once more?

Clown.

Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once.

Elb.

I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.

Clown.

I beseech your honour, ask me.

Escal.

Well, sir; What did this gentleman to her?

Clown.

I beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman's face:—Good master Froth, look upon his honour; 'tis for a good purpose: Doth your honour mark his face?

Escal.

Ay, sir, very well.

Clown.

Nay, I beseech you mark it well.

Escal.

Well, I do so.

Clown.

Doth your honour see any harm in his face?

Escal.

Why, no.

Clown.

I'll be suppos'd upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him: Good then; if his face be the worst thing about him, how could master Froth do the constable's wife any harm? I would know that of your honour.

Escal.

He's in the right: constable, what say you to it?

Elb.

First, an it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his mistress is a respected woman.

Clown.

By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all.

Elb.

Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet: the time is yet to come, that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child.

Clown.

Sir, she was respected with him before he marry'd with her.

Elb.

Which is the wiser here? Justice or Iniquity^{5 note}? —Is this true?

Elb.

O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with her, before I was marry'd to her? If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let not your worship think me the poor duke's officer:—Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal^{6 note}, or I'll have mine action of battery on thee.

Escal.

If he took you a box o' of the ear, you might have your action of slander too.

Elb.

Marry, I thank your good worship for it: What is't your worship's pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff?

Escal.

Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him, that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses, till thou know'st what they are.

Elb.

Marry, I thank your worship for it:—Thou seest, thou wicked varlet now, what's come upon thee; thou art to continue now, thou varlet; thou art to continue.

Escal.

Where were you born, friend?

Froth.

Here in Vienna, sir.

Escal.

Are you of fourscore pounds a year?

Froth.

Yes, and't please you, sir?

Escal.

So.—What trade are you of, sir?

Clown.

A tapster; a poor widow's tapster.

Escal.

You mistress's name?

Clown.

Mistress Over-done.

Escal.

Hath she had any more than one husband?

Clown.

Nine, sir; Over-done by the last.

Escal.

Nine!—Come hither to me, master Froth. Master Froth, I would not have you acquainted with tapsters; they will draw you^{7 note}, master Froth, and you will hang them: Get you gone, and let me hear no more of you.

Froth.

I thank your worship: For mine own part, I never come into any room in a taphouse, but I am drawn in.

Escal.

Well; no more of it, master Froth: farewell.

—Come you hither to me, master tapster; what's your name, master tapster?

Clown.

Pompey.

Escal.

What else?

Clown.

Bum, sir.

Escal.

Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you^{8 note}; so that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the great. Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey, howsoever you colour it in being tapster; Are you not? come, tell me true; it shall be the better for you.

Clown.

Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow, that would live.

Escal.

How would you live, Pompey? by being a bawd? What do you think of the trade, Pompey? is it a lawful trade?

Clown.

If the law will allow it, sir.

Escal.

But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it shall not be allowed in Vienna.

Clown.

Does your worship mean to geld and spay all the youth in the city?

Escal.

No, Pompey.

Clown.

Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to't then: If your worship will take order for the drabs and the knaves, you need not to fear the bawds.

Escal.

There are pretty orders beginning, I can tell you: it is but heading and hanging.

Clown.

If you head and hang all that offend that way but for ten year together, you'll be glad to give out a commission for more heads. If this law hold in Vienna ten years, I'll rent the fairest house in it, after three pence a bay^{9 note}

Escal.

Thank you, good Pompey: and in requital of your prophecy, hark you,—I advise you, let me not find you before me again upon any complaint whatsoever, no, not for dwelling where you do; if I do, Pompey, I shall beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd Cæsar to you; in plain dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipt: so, for this time, Pompey, fare you well.

Clown.

I thank your worship for your good counsel; but I shall follow it, as the flesh and fortune shall better determine.

Escal.

Come hither to me, master Elbow; come hither, master constable. How long have you been in this place of constable?

Elb.

Seven year and a half, sir.

Escal.

I thought, by your readiness in the office, you had continued in it some time; You say, seven years together?

Elb.

And a half, sir.

Escal.

Alas! it hath been great pains to you! they do you wrong to put you so oft upon't: Are there not men in your ward sufficient to serve it?

Elb.

Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters:

as they are chosen, they are glad to chuse me for them; I do it for some piece of money, and go through with all.

Escal.

Look you, bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most sufficient of your parish.

Elb.

To your worship's house, sir?

Escal.
To my house: Fare you well.
What's a clock, think you?

Just.
Eleven, sir.

Escal.
I pray you home to dinner with me.

Just.
I humbly thank you.

Escal.
It grieves me for the death of Claudio;
But there's no remedy.

Just.
Lord Angelo is severe.

Escal.
It is but needful:
Mercy is not itself, that oft looks so;
Pardon is still the nurse of second woe:
But yet,—Poor Claudio!—There's no remedy.
Come, sir. [Exeunt. SCENE II. Angelo's House. Enter Provost, and a Servant.

Serv.
He's hearing of a cause; he will come straight:
I'll tell him of you.

Prov.
Pray you, do. [Exit. Servant.] I'll know
His pleasure; may be, he will relent: Alas,
He hath but as offended in a dream!
All sects, all ages smack of this vice; and he
To die for it!— Enter Angelo.

Ang.
Now, what's the matter, provost?

Prov.
Is it your will Claudio shall die to-morrow?

Ang.
Did I not tell thee, yea? hadst thou not order?
Why dost thou ask again?

Prov.
Lest I might be too rash:
Under your good correction, I have seen,
When, after execution, judgment hath
Repented o'er his doom.

Ang.
Go to; let that be mine:
Do you your office, or give up your place,
And you shall well be spar'd.

Prov.
I crave your honour's pardon.—
What shall be done, sir, with the groaning Juliet?
She's very near her hour.

Ang.
Dispose of her
To some more fitting place; and that with speed. [Re-enter Servant.]

Serv.
Here is the sister of the man condemn'd,
Desires access to you.

Ang.
Hath he a sister?

Prov.
Ay, my good lord; a very virtuous maid,
And to be shortly of a sister-hood,
If not already.

Ang.
Well, let her be admitted. [Exit Servant.
See you, the fornicatress be remov'd;
Let her have needful, but not lavish means;
There shall be order for it. Enter Lucio and Isabella.

Prov.
Save your honour!

Ang.
Stay yet a while^{1 note}.—[To Isab.] You are welcome: What's your will?

Isab.
I am a woeful suitor to your honour,
Please but your honour hear me.

Ang.
Well; what's your suit?

Isab.
There is a vice, that most I do abhor,
And most desire should meet the blow of justice;
For which I would not plead, but that I must;

For which I must not plead, but that I am^{2 note}

Ang.
Well; the matter?

Isab.
I have a brother is condemn'd to die:
I do beseech you, let it be his fault,
And not my brother.

Prov.
Heaven give thee moving graces!

Ang.
Condemn the fault, and not the actor of it!
Why, every fault's condemn'd, ere it be done:
Mine were the very cypher of a function,
To find the faults,^{3 note} whose fine stands in record,
And let go by the actor.

Isab.
O just, but severe law!
I had a brother then.—Heaven keep your honour!

Lucio. [To Isab.]
Give't not o'er so: to him again, intreat him;
Kneel down before him, hang upon his gown;
You are too cold: if you should need a pin,
You could not with more tame a tongue desire it:
To him I say.

Isab.
Must he needs die?

Ang.
Maiden, no remedy.

Isab.
Yes; I do think that you might pardon him,
And neither heaven, nor man, grieve at the mercy.

Ang.
I will not do't.

Isab.
But can you, if you would?

Ang.
Look, what I will not, that I cannot do.

Isab.
But might you do't, and do the world no wrong,

If so your heart were touch'd with that remorse^{4 note}

Ang.
He's sentenc'd; 'tis too late.

Lucio.
You are too cold. [To Isabel.

Isabel.
Too late? why, no; I, that do speak a word,
May call it back again: Well believe this,
No ceremony that to great ones 'longs,
Not the king's crown, nor the deputed sword,
The marshal's truncheon, nor the judge's robe,
Become them with one half so good a grace,
As mercy does.
If he had been as you, and you as he,
You would have slipt, like him; but he, like you,
Would not have been so stern.

Ang.
Pray you, be gone.

Isab.
I would to heaven I had your potency,
And you were Isabel! should it then be thus?
No; I would tell what 'twere to be a judge,
And what a prisoner.

Lucio. [Aside.]
Ay, touch him: there's the vein.

Ang.
Your brother is a forfeit of the law,
And you but waste your words.

Isab.
Alas! alas!
Why, all the souls that were, were forfeit once^{5 note};
And He that might the vantage best have took,
Found out the remedy: How would you be,
If he, which is the top of judgment, should
But judge you, as you are? Oh, think on that,

And mercy then will breathe within your lips,
Like man new made^{6 note}

Ang.
Be you content, fair maid;
It is the law, not I, condemns your brother:
Were he my kinsman, brother, or my son,
It should be thus with him;—he must die to-morrow.

Isab.
To-morrow? Oh, that's sudden! Spare him, spare him;
He's not prepar'd for death! Even for our kitchens
We kill the fowl, of season; shall we serve heaven
With less respect than we do minister
To our gross selves? Good, good my lord, bethink you:
Who is it that hath died for this offence?
There's many have committed it.

Lucio.
Ay, well said.

Ang.
The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept:
Those many had not dar'd to do that evil,
If the first man, that did the edict infringe^{7 note}
,
Had answer'd for his deed: now, 'tis awake;
Takes note of what is done; and, like a prophet^{8 note}

Looks in a glass that shews what future evils,
(Either now^{9 note}
, or by remissness new-conceiv'd,
And so in progress to be hatch'd and born)
Are now to have no successive degrees,
But, ere they live, to end^{1 note}
. 9Q0168

Isab.
Yet shew some pity^{2 note}

.

Ang.
I shew it most of all, when I shew justice;
For then I pity those I do not know,
Which a dismiss'd offence would after gall;
And do him right, that, answering one foul wrong,
Lives not to act another. Be satisfy'd;
Your brother dies to-morrow; be content.

Isab.
So you must be the first, that gives this sentence;
And he, that suffers: Oh, it is excellent
To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous,
To use it like a giant.

Lucio.
That's well said.

Isab.
Could great men thunder
As Jove himself does, Jove would ne'er be quiet,
For every pelting^{3 note}

Split'st the unwedgeable and gnarled oak^{4 note}

Lucio.
Oh, to him, to him, wench: he will relent;
He's coming; I perceiv't.

Prov.
Pray heaven she win him!

Isab.
We cannot weigh our brother with ourself^{7 note}