SCENE II.
The Street.
Enter Lucio, and two Gentlemen.
Lucio.
If the duke, with the other dukes, come
not to composition with the king of Hungary, why,
then all the dukes fall upon the king.
1 Gent.
Heaven grant us its peace, but not the
king of Hungary's!
2 Gent.
Amen.
Lucio.
Thou conclud'st like the sanctimonious pirate,
that went to sea with the ten commandments,
but scrap'd one out of the table.
2 Gent.
Thou shalt not steal?
Lucio.
Ay, that he raz'd.
1 Gent.
Why, 'twas a commandment to command
the captain and all the rest from their functions; they
put forth to steal: There's not a soldier of us all,
-- 13 --
that, in the thanksgiving before meat, doth relish
the petition well that prays for peace.
2 Gent.
I never heard any soldier dislike it.
Lucio.
I believe thee; for, I think, thou never
wast where grace was said.
2 Gent.
No? a dozen times at least.
1 Gent.
What? 1 notein metre?
Lucio.
In any proportion2 note, or in any language.
1 Gent.
I think, or in any religion.
Lucio.
Ay! why not? Grace is grace, despight of
all controversy3 note
: As for example; Thou thyself art
a wicked villain, despight of all grace.
1 Gent.
Well, there went but a pair of sheers between
us4 note
.
-- 14 --
Lucio.
I grant; as there may between the lists and
the velvet: Thou art the list.
1 Gent.
And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet;
thou art a three-pil'd piece, I warrant thee: I
had as lief be a list of an English kersey, as be pil'd,
as thou art pil'd, for a French velvet5 note
. Do I speak
feelingly now?
Lucio.
I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most
painful feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine
own confession, learn to begin thy health; but,
whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.
1 Gent.
I think, I have done myself wrong; have
I not?
2 Gent.
Yes, that thou hast; whether thou art
tainted, or free.
Lucio.
Behold, behold, where madam Mitigation
comes! I have purchas'd as many diseases under her
roof, as come to—
2 Gent.
To what, I pray?
1 Gent.
Judge.
2 Gent.
To three thousand dollars a year6 note
.
1 Gent.
Ay, and more.
-- 15 --
Lucio.
A French crown more7 note
.
1 Gent.
Thou art always figuring diseases in me:
but thou art full of error; I am sound.
Lucio.
Nay, not, as one would say, healthy; but
so sound, as things that are hollow: thy bones are
hollow; impiety has made a feast of thee.
Enter Bawd.
1 Gent.
How now? Which of your hips has the
most profound sciatica?
Bawd.
Well, well; there's one yonder arrested,
and carry'd to prison, was worth five thousand of you
all.
1 Gent.
Who's that, I pr'ythee?
Bawd.
Marry, sir, that's Claudio, signior Claudio.
1 Gent.
Claudio to prison! 'tis not so.
Bawd.
Nay, but I know, 'tis so: I saw him arrested;
saw him carry'd away; and, which is more, within
these three days his head is to be chopp'd off.
Lucio.
But, after all this fooling, I would not have
it so: Art thou sure of this?
Bawd.
I am too sure of it: and it is for getting
madam Julietta with child.
Lucio.
Believe me, this may be: he promised to
meet me two hours since; and he was ever precise in
promise-keeping.
-- 16 --
2 Gent.
Besides, you know, it draws something near
to the speech we had to such a purpose.
1 Gent.
But most of all agreeing with the proclamation.
Lucio.
Away; let's go learn the truth of it.
[Exeunt.
Manet Bawd.
Bawd.
Thus, what with the war, what with the
sweat8 note
, what with the gallows, and what with poverty,
I am custom-shrunk. How now? what's the
news with you?
Enter Clown9 note
.
Clown.
Yonder man is carry'd to prison.
Bawd.
Well; what has he done1 note
? 9Q0156
Clown.
A woman.
-- 17 --
Bawd.
But what's his offence?
Clown.
Groping for trouts in a peculiar river. 9Q0157
Bawd.
What, is there a maid with child by him?
Clown.
No; but there's a woman with maid by
him: You have not heard of the proclamation, have
you?
Bawd.
What proclamation, man?
Clown.
All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be
pluck'd down.
Bawd.
And what shall become of those in the city?
Clown.
They shall stand for seed: they had gone
down too, but that a wise burgher put in for them.
Bawd.
But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs
be pull'd down2 note
?
Clown.
To the ground, mistress.
Bawd.
Why, here's a change, indeed, in the commonwealth!
What shall become of me?
-- 18 --
Clown.
Come; fear not you: good counsellors lack
no clients: though you change your place, you need
not change your trade; I'll be your tapster still. Courage;
there will be pity taken on you: you that have
worn your eyes almost out in the service, you will be
considered.
Bawd.
What's to do here, Thomas Tapster? Let's
withdraw.
Clown.
Here comes signior Claudio, led by the provost
to prison: and there's madam Juliet.
[Exeunt Bawd and Clown.
Samuel Johnson [1778], The plays of William Shakspeare. In ten volumes. With the corrections and illustrations of various commentators; to which are added notes by Samuel Johnson and George Steevens. The second edition, Revised and Augmented (Printed for C. Bathurst [and] W. Strahan [etc.], London) [word count] [S10901].