Host.

What would'st thou have, boor? what, thickskin^{5 note}
? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Simp.

Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host.

There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his ^{6 note}

Simp.

There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, 'till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host.

Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robb'd: I'll call.—Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak

from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal.

How now, mine host?

Host.

Here's a ^{8 note}

Fal.

There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Simp.

Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal.

Ay, marry was it, ^{9 note}mussel-shell; What would you with her?

Simp.

My master, sir, master Slender sent to her, seeing her go through the street, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal.

I spake with the old woman about it.

Simp.

And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal.

Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguil'd master Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it.

Simp.

I would I could have spoken with the woman

herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal.

What are they? let us know.

Host.

Ay, come; quick.

Simp.

I may not conceal them, sir.

Fal.

Conceal them, or thou dy'st.

Simp.

Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal.

'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Simp.

What, sir?

Fal.

To have her—or no: Go; say the woman told me so.

Simp.

May I be so bold to say so, sir^{1 note}

Fal.

Ay, sir Tike; like who more bold.

Simp.

I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings.

Host.

Thou art clerkly^{2 note}
, thou art clerkly, sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal.

Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning^{3 note}.

Bard.

Out, alas, sir! cozenage! meer cozenage!

Host.

Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.

Bard.

Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustus's^{4 note}.

Host.

They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they are fled; Germans are honest men.

Eva.

Where is mine host?

Host.

What is the matter, sir?

Eva.

Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin-germans, that has cozen'd all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozen'd: Fare you well.

Caius.

Vere is mine Host de Jarterre?

Host.

Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Caius.

I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know, to come: I tell you for good vill: adieu.

Host.

Hue and cry, villain, go! assist me, knight; I am undone:—fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!

Fal.

I would all the world might be cozen'd; for

I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermens' boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-faln as a dry'd pear. I never prosper'd since I foreswore myself at ^{5 note}Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.—

Now! whence come you?

Quic.

From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal.

The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestow'd! I have suffer'd more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quic.

And have not they suffer'd? yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal.

What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the ^{6 note}

me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quic.

Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, ^{7 note}what ado is here to bring you together! sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so cross'd.

Fal.

Come up into my chamber.