SCENE VI.
Enter Apemantus.
More man? plague! plague!—
Apem.
I was directed hither. Men report,
Thou dost affect my manners, and dost use them.
Tim.
'Tis then, because thou dost not keep a dog
Whom I would imitate. Consumption catch thee!
Apem.
This is in thee a nature but affected,
A poor unmanly melancholy, sprung
From change of fortune. Why this spade? this place?
This slave-like habit, and these looks of care?
Thy flatt'rers yet wear silk, drink wine, lie soft;
Hug their diseas'd perfumes, and have forgot
That ever Timon was. 5 note
Shame not these woods,
-- 246 --
By putting on 6 note
the cunning of a carper.
Be thou a flatt'rer now, and seek to thrive
By that which has undone thee; hinge thy knee,
And let his very breath, whom thou'lt observe,
Blow off thy cap; praise his most vicious strain,
And call it excellent. Thou wast told thus;
Thou gav'st thine ears (like tapsters, that bid welcome)
To knaves, and all approachers; 'tis most just
That thou turn rascal. Hadst thou wealth again,
Rascals should have't. Do not assume my likeness.
Tim.
Were I like thee, I'd throw away myself.
Apem.
Thou'st cast away thyself, being like thyself,
So long a mad-man, now a fool. What, think'st thou,
That the bleak air, thy boisterous chamberlain,
Will put thy shirt on warm? Will these 7 notemoist trees,
That have out-liv'd the eagle, page thy heels,
And skip when thou point'st out? Will the cold brook,
Candied with ice, cawdle thy morning taste
To cure thy o'er-night's surfeit? Call the creatures,
Whose naked natures live in all the spight
Of wreakful heav'n, whose bare unhoused trunks,
To the conflicting elements expos'd,
Answer meer nature; bid them flatter thee;
Oh! thou shalt find—
Tim.
A fool of thee; depart.
Apem.
I love thee better now, than e'er I did.
Tim.
I hate thee worse.
-- 247 --
Apem.
Why?
Tim.
Thou flatt'rest misery.
Apem.
I flatter not; but say, thou art a caytiff.
Tim.
Why dost thou seek me out?
Apem.
To vex thee.
8 note
Tim.
Always a villain's office, or a fool's.
Do'st please thyself in't?
Apem.
Ay.
Tim.
What! a knave too?
Apem.
If thou didst put this sour cold habit on
To castigate thy pride, 'twere well; but thou
Dost it enforcedly: thou'dst Courtier be,
Wert thou not beggar. Willing misery
Out lives incertain pomp; 9 noteis crown'd before;
The one is filling still, never compleat;
-- 248 --
The other, at high wish. Best states, contentless,
Have a distracted and most wretched Being;
Worse than the worst, content.
Thou should'st desire to die, being miserable.
Tim.
Not 1 noteby his breath, that is more miserable.
Thou art a slave, whom fortune's tender arm
With favour never claspt; 2 notebut bred a dog.
3 note
Hadst thou, like us from our * notefirst swath, proceeded
Through sweet degrees that this brief world affords,
To such as may the passive drugs of it
Freely command, thou wouldst have plung'd thyself
In general riot, melted down thy youth
In different beds of lust, and never learn'd
The icy 4 noteprecepts of respect, but followed
-- 249 --
The sugar'd game before thee. 5 note
But myself,
Who had the world as my confectionary,
The mouths, the tongues, the eyes, the hearts of men
At duty, more than I could frame employments
That numberless upon me stuck, as leaves
Do on the oak; have with one winter's brush
Fall'n from their boughs, and left me open, bare
For every storm that blows. I to bear this,
That never knew but better, is some burden.
Thy nature did commence in suff'rance, time
Hath made thee hard in't. Why shouldst thou hate men?
They never flatter'd thee. What hast thou giv'n?
If thou wilt curse, thy father * notethat poor rag,
Must be thy subject, who in spight put stuff
To some she-beggar, and compounded thee
Poor rogue hereditary. Hence! Be gone—
If thou hadst not been born the worst of men,
6 note
Thou hadst been knave and flatterer.
Apem.
Art thou proud yet?
Tim.
Ay, that I am not thee.
Apem.
I, that I was no prodigal.
-- 250 --
Tim.
I, that I am one now.
Were all the wealth I have, shut up in thee,
I'd give thee leave to hang it. Get thee gone.
—That the whole life of Athens were in this!
Thus would I eat it.
[Eating a root.
Apem.
Here. I will mend thy feast.
[Offering him another.
Tim.
First mend my company, take away thyself.
Apem.
So I shall mend my own, by th' lack of thine.
Tim.
'Tis not well mended so, it is but botcht;
If not, I would it were.
Apem.
What wouldst thou have to Athens?
Tim.
Thee thither in a whirlwind; if thou wilt.
Tell them there, I have gold. Look, so I have.
Apem.
Here is no use for gold.
Tim.
The best and truest:
For here it sleeps, and does no hired harm.
Apem.
Where ly'st o'nights, Timon?
Tim.
Under that's above me.
Where feed'st thou o'days, Apemantus?
Apem.
Where my stomach finds meat; or rather,
where I eat it.
Tim.
'Would poison were obedient, and knew my
mind!
Apem.
Where wouldst thou send it?
Tim.
To sawce thy dishes.
Apem.
The middle of humanity thou never knewest,
but the extremity of both ends. When thou wast in
thy gilt, and thy perfume, they mockt thee 7 notefor too
much curiosity, in thy rags thou knowest none, but
art despis'd for the contrary. There's a medlar for
thee, eat it.
Tim.
On what I hate I feed not.
Apem.
Dost hate a medlar?
-- 251 --
Tim.
8 noteAy, though it look like thee.
Apem.
An th' hadst hated medlers sooner, thou
shouldst have loved thyself better now. What man
didst thou ever know unthrift, that was belov'd after
his means?
Tim.
Who, without those means thou talk'st of,
didst thou ever know beloved?
Apem.
Myself.
Tim.
I understand thee, thou hadst some means to
keep a dog.
Apem.
What things in the world canst thou nearest
compare to thy flatterers?
Tim.
Women nearest; but men, men, are the things
themselves. What wouldst thou do with the world,
Apemantus, if it lay in thy power?
Apem.
Give it the beasts, to be rid of the men.
Tim.
Wouldst thou have thyself fall in the confusion
of men, or remain a beast with the beasts?
Apem.
Ay, Timon.
Tim.
A beastly ambition, which the Gods grant thee
to attain to! If thou wert a lion, the fox would beguile
thee; if thou wert the lamb, the fox would eat
thee; if thou wert the fox, the lion would suspect
thee, when, peradventure, thou wert accus'd by the
ass; if thou wert the ass, thy dulness would torment
thee; and still thou liv'dst but as a breakfast to the
wolf. If thou wert the wolf, thy greediness would
afflict thee; and oft thou shouldst hazard thy life for
thy dinner. Wert thou the 9 noteunicorn, pride and wrath
-- 252 --
would confound thee, and make thine own self the
conquest of thy fury. Wert thou a bear, thou wouldst
be kill'd by the horse; wert thou a horse, thou wouldst
be seiz'd by the leopard; wert thou a leopard, thou
wert german to the lion, and the spots of thy kindred
were jurors on thy life. All thy safety were remotion,
and thy defence absence. What beast couldst thou be,
that were not subject to a beast? and what a beast art
thou already, and seest not thy loss in transformation!
Apem.
If thou couldst please me with speaking to
me, thou might'st have hit upon it here. The Commonwealth
of Athens is become a forest of beasts.
Tim.
How has the ass broke the wall, that thou
art out of the City?
Apem.
Yonder comes a Poet, and a Painter. The
Plague of Company light upon thee! I will fear to
catch it, and give way. When I know not what else
to do, I'll see thee again.
Tim.
When there is nothing living but thee, thou
shalt be welcome. I had rather be a Beggar's dog,
than Apemantus.
Apem.
1 note
Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.
Tim.
'Would, thou wert clean enough to spit upon.
2 note
A plague on thee!
Apem.
Thou art too bad to curse.
Tim.
All villains, that do stand by thee, are pure.
Apem.
There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st.
-- 253 --
Tim.
If I name thee.—I'll beat thee, but I should
infect my hands.
Apem.
I would my tongue could rot them off!
Tim.
Away, thou issue of a mangy dog!
Choler does kill me, that thou art alive:
I swoon to see thee.
Apem.
'Would, thou wouldst burst!
Tim.
Away, thou tedious rogue, I am sorry I shall
lose a stone by thee.
Apem.
Beast!
Tim.
Slave!
Apem.
Toad!
Tim.
Rogue! rogue! rogue!
[Apemantus retreats backward, as going.
I am sick of this false world, and will love nought
But ev'n the meer necessities upon it.
Then, Timon, presently prepare thy grave;
Lie where the light foam of the sea may beat
Thy grave-stone daily; make thine epitaph;
That death in thee at others' lives may laugh.
O thou sweet king-killer, and dear divorce
[Looking on the gold.
3 note
Twixt natural son and sire! thou bright defiler
Of Hymen's purest bed! thou valiant Mars!
Thou ever young, fresh, lov'd, and delicate wooer,
4 note
Whose blush doth thaw the consecrated snow,
That lies on Dian's lap! thou visible God,
That soldrest close impossibilities,
And mak'st them kiss! that speak'st with every tongue,
To every purpose! Oh, thou Touch of hearts!
Think, thy slave man rebels; and by thy virtue
Set them into confounding odds, that beasts
May have the world in empire.
-- 254 --
Apem.
'Would 'twere so.
But not 'till I am dead! I'll say, thou hast gold:
Thou wilt be throng'd to shortly.
Tim.
Throng'd to?
Apem.
Ay.
Tim.
Thy back, I pr'ythee—
Apem.
Live, and love thy misery!
Tim.
Long live so, and so die! I am quit.
* noteMore things like men—Eat, Timon, and abhor
them.
[Exit Apemantus.
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].
