SCENE IV.
Changes to a Street in London.
Enter Sir John Falstaff, with his Page bearing his sword and buckler.
Fal.
Sirrah, you, giant! what says the doctor to my water?
Page.
He said, Sir, the water it self was a good
healthy water. But for the party that own'd it, he
might have more diseases than he knew for.
Fal.
Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me.
-- 245 --
The brain of this foolish-compounded-clay, Man, is
not able to invent any thing that tends to laughter,
more than I invent, or is invented on me. I am not
only witty in my self, but the cause that wit is in other
men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow, that
hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the Prince
put thee into my service for any other reason than to set
me off, why, then I have no judgment. Thou whorson
mandrake7 note, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap,
than to wait at my heels. 8 note
I was never mann'd with
an agate till now: but I will neither set you in gold
nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again
to your master, for a jewel: The Juvenal, the Prince
your master! whose chin is not yet fledg'd; I will
sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand,
than he shall get one on his cheek; yet he will not
stick to say, his face is a face-royal. Heav'n may
finish it when it will, it is not a hair amiss yet; he
may keep it still as a face-royal9 note, for a barber shall never
earn sixpence out of it; and yet he will be crowing,
as if he had writ man ever since his father was a
batchelor. He may keep his own grace, but he is almost
out of mine, I can assure him.—What said Mr.
Dombledon, about the satten for my short cloak and
slops?
-- 246 --
Page.
He said, Sir, you should procure him better
assurance than Bardolph; he would not take his bond
and yours, he lik'd not the security.
Fal.
Let him be damn'd like the Glutton, may his
tongue be hotter. A whorson Achitophel, a rascally yea-forsooth-knave,
to bear a gentleman in1 note hand, and
then stand upon security.—The whorson-smooth-pates
do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of
keys at their girdles; and if a man is thorough with
them in honest taking up2 note, then they must stand upon
security. I had as lief they would put rats-bane in my
mouth, as offer to stop it with security. I looked he
should have sent me two and twenty yards of satten,
as I am a true Knight, and he sends me Security.
Well, he may sleep in security, for he hath the horn
of abundance. And 3 notethe lightness of his wife shines
through it, and yet cannot he see, though he have his
own lanthorn to light him. Where's Bardolph?
Page.
He's gone into Smithfield to buy your Worship
a horse.
Fal.
4 noteI bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a
horse in Smithfield. If I could get me but a wife in
the Stews, I were mann'd, hors'd, and wiv'd.
-- 247 --
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].
