Conrade.
Bora.
What! Conrade—
Watch.
Peace, stir not.
[Aside.
Bora.
Conrade, I say!
Con.
Here, man, I am at thy elbow.
Bora.
Mass, and my elbow itch'd, I thought there
would a scab follow.
Conr.
I will owe thee an answer for that, and now
forward with thy tale.
Bora.
Stand thee close then under this pent-house,
for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard,
utter all to thee.
Watch. [Aside.]
Some Treason, masters; yet stand
close.
-- 225 --
Bora.
Therefore know, I have earned of Don John
a thousand ducats.
Conr.
Is it possible that any Villany should be so
dear?
Bora.
Thou should'st rather ask, if it were possible
1 noteany villany should be so rich? for when rich villains
have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what
price they will.
Conr.
I wonder at it.
Bora.
That shews, 2 notethou art unconfirm'd; thou
knowest, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a
cloak is nothing to a man.
Conr.
Yes, it is apparel.
Bora.
I mean the fashion.
Conr.
Yes, the fashion is the fashion.
Bora.
Tush, I may as well say, the fool's the fool;
but see'st thou not, what a deformed thief this fashion
is?
Watch.
I know that Deformed; he has been a vile
thief these seven years; he goes up and down like a
gentleman: I remember his name.
Bora.
Didst thou not hear some body?
Conr.
No, 'twas the vane on the house.
Bora.
Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief
this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot-bloods
between fourteen and five and thirty; sometimes,
fashioning them like Pharao's soldiers in the reechy
Painting; sometimes, like the God Bell's priests in the
old church-window; 3 notesometimes, like the shaven Hercules
-- 226 --
in the smirch'd worm-eaten tapestry, where his
codpiece seems as massy as his club.
Conr.
All this I see, and see, that the fashion wears
out more apparel than the man; but art not thou thyself
giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted
out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
Bora.
Not so neither; but know, that I have tonight
wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's Gentlewoman,
by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress's
chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good
night—I tell this tale vilely—I should first tell thee,
how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and
placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw a
far off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Conr.
And thought they, Margaret was Hero?
Bora.
Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio;
but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and
partly by his oaths, which first possest them, partly by
the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly
by my villany, which did confirm any slander that
Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged;
swore, he would meet her as he was appointed next
morning at the Temple, and there before the whole
-- 227 --
Congregation shame her with what he saw o'er night,
and send her home again without a husband.
1 Watch.
We charge you in the Prince's name,
stand.
2 Watch.
Call up the right master constable; we
have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery
that ever was known in the common-wealth.
1 Watch.
And one Deformed is one of them; I
know him, he wears a lock.
Conr.
Masters, masters,4 note
—
2 Watch.
You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I
warrant you.
Conr.
Masters,—
1 Watch.
Never speak; we charge you, let us obey
you to go with us.
Bora.
We are like to prove a goodly Commodity,
being taken up of these mens bills.
Conr.
A commodity in question, I warrant you.
Come, we'll obey you.
[Exeunt.
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].