SCENE III.
Enter Falstaff.
Fal.
No, I'll come no more i'th' basket: may I not
go out, ere he come?
Mrs. Page.
Alas! alas! three of master Ford's brothers
watch the door with pistols, that none should issue
out, otherwise you might slip away ere he came.
—But what make you here?
Fal.
What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.
Mrs. Ford.
There they always use to discharge their
birding-pieces; creep into the kill-hole.
Fal.
Where is it?
Mrs. Ford.
He will seek there, on my word. Neithere
press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he
hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places,
and goes to them by his note; there is no hiding you
in the house.
Fal.
I'll go out then.
Mrs. Ford.
If you go out in your own semblance,
you die, Sir John, unless you go out disguis'd. How
might we disguise him?
Mrs. Page.
Alas-the-day, I know not. There is no
woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he
might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so
escape.
Fal.
Good heart, devise something; any extremity,
rather than mischief.
Mrs. Ford.
My maid's aunt the fat woman of Brainford,
has a gown above.
Mrs. Page.
On my word, it will serve him; she's
as big as he is, and there's her thrum hat, and her
muffler too. Run up, Sir John.
-- 528 --
Mrs. Ford.
Go, go, sweet Sir John; mistress Page
and I will look some linen for your head.
Mrs. Page.
Quick, quick, we'll come dress you
straight; put on the gown the while.
[Exit Falstaff.
Mrs. Ford.
I would, my husband would meet him in
this shape; he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford;
he swears, she's a witch, forbade her my house,
and hath threatned to beat her.
Mrs. Page.
Heav'n guide him to thy husband's cudgel,
and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
Mrs. Ford.
But is my husband coming?
Mrs. Page.
Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks
of the basket too, however he hath had intelligence.
Mrs. Ford.
We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men
to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with
it, as they did last time.
Mrs. Page.
Nay, but he'll be here presently; let's
go dress him like the witch of Brainford.
Mrs. Ford.
I'll first direct my men, what they shall
do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him
straight.
Mrs. Page.
Hang him, dishonest varlet, we cannot
misuse him enough.
We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too.
We do not act, that often jest and laugh:
'Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draugh.
Mrs. Ford.
Go, Sirs, take the basket again on your
shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you
set it down, obey him: quickly, dispatch.
[Exit Mrs. Page and Mrs. Ford.
Enter Servants with the basket.
1 Serv.
Come, come, take up.
2 Serv.
Pray heav'n, it be not full of the knight
again.
1 Serv.
I hope not. I had as lief bear so much lead.
-- 529 --
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].
