Ford disguis'd.
Ford.
Bless you, Sir.
Fal.
And you, Sir; would you speak with me?
Ford.
I make bold to press with so little preparation
upon you.
Fal.
You're welcome; what's your will? give us
leave, drawer.
[Exit Bardolph.
Ford.
Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much;
my name is Brook.
Fal.
Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance
of you.
Ford.
Good Sir John, I sue for yours; not to* note charge
you, for I must let you understand, I think myself in
better plight for a lender than you are, the which hath
something embolden'd me to this unseason'd intrusion;
for they say, if mony go before, all ways do lye
open.
Fal.
Mony is a good soldier, Sir, and will on.
Ford.
Troth, and I have a bag of mony, here,
troubles me; if you will help me to bear it, Sir John,
take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.
Fal.
Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your
porter.
Ford.
I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the
hearing.
Fal.
Speak, good master Brook, I shall be glad to
be your servant.
Ford.
Sir, I hear, you are a scholar; (I will be brief
with you) and you have been a man long known to
me, tho' I had never so good means, as desire, to
make myself acquainted with you: I shall discover a
thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open
mine own imperfections; but, good Sir John, as you
have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded,
turn another into the register of your own,
-- 490 --
that I may pass with a reproof the easier; sith you
yourself know, how easy it is to be such an offender.
Fal.
Very well: Sir, proceed.
Ford.
There is a gentlewoman in this town, her
husband's name is Ford.
Fal.
Well, Sir.
Ford.
I have long lov'd her; and, I protest to you,
bestow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doating
observance; engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd
every slight occasion, that could but niggardly give me
sight of her; not only bought many presents to give
her, but have given largely to many, to know what
she would have given: briefly, I have pursued her, as
love hath pursu'd me, which hath been on the wing
of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either
in my mind, or in my means; meed, I am sure,
I have received none; unless experience be a jewel;
That I have purchas'd at an infinite rate, and That
hath taught me to say this;
“Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues;
“Pursuing That that flies, and flying what pursues.
Fal.
Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction
at her hands?
Ford.
Never.
Fal.
Have you importun'd her to such a purpose?
Ford.
Never.
Fal.
Of what quality was your love then?
Ford.
Like a fair house built upon another man's
ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistaking
the place where I have erected it.
Fal.
To what purpose have you unfolded this to
me?
Ford.
When I have told you that, I have told you
all. Some say, that tho' she appear honest to me, yet
in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far, that there
is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John,
here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman
-- 491 --
of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great
admittance, authentick in your place and person, generally
allow'd for your many-war-like, court-like,
and learned preparations.
Fal.
O Sir!
Ford.
Believe it, for you know it: there is mony,
spend it, spend it; spend more, spend all I have, only
give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to
lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife;
use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if
any man may, you may as soon as any.
Fal.
Would it apply well to the vehemence of your
affection, that I should win what you would enjoy?
methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.
Ford.
O, understand my drift; she dwells so securely
on the excellency of her honour, that the folly
of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to
be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with
any detection in my hand, my desires had 7 noteinstance and
argument to commend themselves; I could drive her
then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her
marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences,
which now are too strongly embattel'd against me.
What say you to't, Sir John?
Fal.
Master Brook, I will first make bold with your
mony; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am
a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.
Ford.
O good Sir!
Fal.
Master Brook, I say you shall.
Ford.
Want no mony, Sir John, you shall want
none.
Fal.
Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you
shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you,
by her own appointment. Even as you came in to
me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me; I
-- 492 --
say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for
at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband,
will be forth. Come you to me at night, you shall
know how I speed.
Ford.
I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know
Ford, Sir?
Fal.
Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave, I know him
not: yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they say, the
jealous wittolly knave hath masses of mony, for the
which his wife seems to be well-favour'd. I will use
her as the key of the cuckoldly-rogue's coffer; and
there's my harvest-home.
Ford.
I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might
avoid him, if you saw him.
Fal.
Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue: I
will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with
my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the Cuckold's
horns. Master Brook, thou shall know, I will
predominate over the peasant; and thou shalt lye with
his wife.—Come to me soon at night. Ford's a knave,
and I will aggravate his stile: thou, master Brook,
shall know him for knave and cuckold.—Come to me
soon at night.
[Exit.
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].
