Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Page, trust me, I was going to your house.

Mrs. Page.

And trust me, I was coming to you; you look very ill.

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to shew to the contrary.

Mrs. Page.

'Faith, but you do, in my mind.

Mrs. Ford.

Well, I do then; yet I say, I could

shew you to the contrary: O mistress Page, give me some counsel.

Mrs. Page.

What's the matter, woman?

Mrs. Ford.

O woman! if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour.

Mrs. Page.

Hang the trifle, woman, take the honour; what is it? dispense with trifles; what is it?

Mrs. Ford.

If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page.

What?—thou liest!—Sir Alice Ford!— these Knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.^{8 note}

Mrs. Ford.

We burn day-light—here, read—read —perceive how I might be knighted—I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking; and yet he would not swear; prais'd women's modesty; and give such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have

gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere, and keep place together, than the hundredth Psalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many ton of oil in his belly, a'shore at Windsor? how shall I be reveng'd on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, 'till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease—Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page.

Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter; but let thine inherit first, for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank-space for different names; nay, more; and these are of the second edition; he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not what he puts into the * ^notepress, when he would put us two. I I had rather be a giantess, and lye under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.

Mrs. Ford.

Why, this is the very same, the very hand, the very words; what doth he think of us?

Mrs. Page.

Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he knew some Stain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs. Ford.

Boarding, call it you? I'll be sure to keep him above deck.

Mrs. Page.

So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a meeting, give him a show of comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine Host of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford.

Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. Oh, that my husband saw this letter! it would give him eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page.

Why, look, where he comes, and my good man too; he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.

Mrs. Ford.

You are the happier woman.

Mrs. Page.

Let's consult together against this greasy Knight. Come hither.