SCENE XI.
Aut.
I understand the business, I hear it: to have
an open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary
for a cut-purse; a good nose is requisite also,
to smell out work for th' other senses. I see, this is
the time that the unjust man doth thrive. What an
exchange had this been, without boot? what a boot
is here, with this exchange? sure, the Gods do this
year connive at us, and we may do any thing extempore.
The Prince himself is about a piece of iniquity;
stealing away from his father, with his clog at his
heels. If I thought it were not a piece of honesty to
acquaint the King withal, I would do't;4 note I hold it
the more knavery to conceal it; and therein am I constant
to my Profession.
-- 323 --
Enter Clown and Shepherd.
Aside, aside,—here's more matter for a hot brain;
every lane's end, every shop, church, session, hanging,
yields a careful man work.
Clo.
See, see; what a man you are now! there is no
other way, but to tell the King she's a Changling, and
none of your flesh and blood.
Shep.
Nay, but hear me.
Clo.
Nay, but hear me.
Shep.
Go to then.
Clo.
She being none of your flesh and blood, your
flesh and blood has not offended the King; and, so,
your flesh and blood is not to be punish'd by him.
Shew those things you found about her, those secret
things, all but what she has with her; this being done,
let the law go whistle; I warrant you.
Shep.
I will tell the King all, every word; yea, and
his son's pranks too; who, I may say, is no honest
man neither to his father, nor to me, to go about to
make me the King's brother-in-law.
Clo.
Indeed, brother-in-law was the farthest off you
could have been to him; and then your blood had
been the dearer by I know how much an ounce.
Aut.
Very wisely, puppies!
[Aside.
Shep.
Well; let us to the King; there is that in this
Farthel will make him scratch his beard.
Aut.
I know not, what impediment this Complaint
may be to the flight of my master.
Clo.
'Pray heartily, he be at the Palace.
Aut.
Tho' I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes
by chance.—Let me pocket up my Pedler's* note excrement.
—How now, rusticks, whither are you bound?
Shep.
To th' Palace, an it like your Worship.
Aut.
Your affairs there,—what? with whom? the
-- 324 --
condition of that farthel? the place of your dwelling?
your names? your age? of what having, breeding, and
any thing that is fitting for to be known, discover.
Clo.
We are but plain fellows, Sir.
Aut.
A lie; you are rough and hairy; let me have
no lying; it becomes none but tradesmen, and they
often give us soldiers the lye; but we pay them for
it with stamped coin, not stabbing steel, therefore they
do not give us the lye.5 note
Clo.
Your Worship had like to have given us one,
if you had not taken yourself with the manner.
Shep.
Are you a Courtier, an like you, Sir?
Aut.
Whether it like me, or no, I am a Courtier.
Seest thou not the air of the Court in these enfoldings?
hath not my gaite in it the measure of the Court? receives
not thy nose court-odour from me? reflect I
not, on thy baseness?—court-contempt. Think'st thou,
for that I insinuate, or toze from thee thy business, I
am therefore no Courtier? I am courtier, Cap-a-pè;
and one that will either push on, or pluck back thy
business there; whereupon I command thee to open
thy affair.
Shep.
My business, Sir, is to the King.
Aut.
What Advocate hast thou to him?
Shep.
I know not, an't like you.
Clo.
Advocate's the court-word for a pheasant;6 note
say, you have none.
Shep.
None, Sir; I have no pheasant cock, nor hen.
Aut.
How bless'd are we, that are not simple men!
Yet Nature might have made me as these are,
Therefore I will not disdain.
-- 325 --
Clo.
This cannot be but a great Courtier.
Shep.
His garments are rich, but he wears them not
handsomely.
Clo.
He seems to be the more noble in being fantastical.
A Great man, I'll warrant; I know, by the
picking on's teeth.7 note
Aut.
The farthel there? what's i'th' farthel?
Wherefore that box?
Shep.
Sir, there lies such secrets in this farthel and
box, which none must know but the King; and which
he shall know within this hour, if I may come to th'
speech of him.
Aut.
Age, thou hast lost thy labour.
Shep.
Why, Sir?
Aut.
The King is not at the Palace: he is gone
aboard a new ship, to purge melancholy and air himself;
for if thou be'st capable of things serious, thou
must know, the King is full of grief.
Shep.
So 'tis said, Sir, about his son that should
have married a shepherd's daughter.
Aut.
If that shepherd be not in hand fast, let him
fly; the curses he shall have, the tortures he shall feel,
will break the back of man, the heart of monster.
Clo.
Think you so, Sir?
Aut.
Not he alone shall suffer what wit can make
heavy, and vengeance bitter; but those that are germane
to him, tho' remov'd fifty times, shall all come
under the hangman; which tho' it be great pity, yet
it is necessary. An old sheep-whistling rogue, a ram-tender,
to offer to have his daughter come into grace!
some say, he shall be ston'd; but that death is too soft
for him, say I. Draw our throne into a sheep-coat!
all deaths are too few, the sharpest too easy.
-- 326 --
Clo.
Has the old man e'er a son, Sir, do you hear,
an't like you, Sir?
Aut.
He has a son, who shall be flay'd alive, then
'nointed over with honey, set on the head of a wasp's
nest, then stand 'till he be three quarters and a dram
dead; then recover'd again with Aqua-vitæ, or some
other hot infusion; then, raw as he is, and in the
hottest day8 note prognostication proclaims, shall he be set
against a brick-wall, the Sun looking with a southward
eye upon him, where he is to behold him, with
flies blown to death. But what talk we of these traitorly
rascals, whose miseries are to be smil'd at, their
offences being so capital? Tell me, (for you seem to
be honest plain men) what you have to the King; being
something * notegently consider'd I'll bring you where
he is aboard, tender your persons to his presence, whisper
him in your behalf, and if it be in man besides
the King to effect your suits, here is a man shall do it.
Clo.
He seems to be of great authority; close with
him, give him gold; and though authority be a stubborn
Bear, yet he is oft led by the nose with gold;
shew the inside of your purse to the outside of his
hand, and no more ado. Remember, ston'd, and
flay'd alive.—
Shep.
An't please you, Sir, to undertake the business
for us, here is that gold I have; I'll make it as
much more, and leave this young man in pawn 'till I
bring it you.
Aut.
After I have done what I promised?
Shep.
Ay, Sir.
Aut.
Well, give me the moiety. Are you a party
in this business?
Clo.
In some sort, Sir; but tho' my case be a pitiful
one, I hope, I shall not be flay'd out of it.
-- 327 --
Aut.
Oh, that's the case of the shepherd's son;
—hang him, he'll be made an example.
Clo.
Comfort, good comfort; we must to the King,
and shew our strange sights; he must know, 'tis none
of your daughter, nor my sister; we are gone else.
Sir, I will give you as much as this old man does,
when the business is perform'd: and remain, as he says,
your Pawn 'till it be brought you.
Aut.
I will trust you, walk before toward the seaside,
go on the right hand; I will but look upon the
hedge, and follow you.
Clo.
We are bless'd in this man, as I may say, even
bless'd.
Shep.
Let's before, as he bids us; he was provided
to do us good.
[Exeunt Shep. and Clown.
Aut.
If I had a mind to be honest, I see, Fortune
would not suffer me; she drops booties in my mouth.
I am courted now with a double occasion: gold, and
a means to do the Prince my master good; which,
who knows how that may turn back to my advancement?
I will bring these two moles, these blind ones,
aboard him; if he think it fit to shore them again,
and that the complaint they have to the King concerns
him nothing, let him call me rogue, for being so far
officious; for I am proof against that Title, and what
shame else belongs to't: to him will I present them,
there may be matter in it.
[Exit.
-- 328 --
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].
