SCENE III.
Enter Biron.
Biron.
O my good knave Costard, exceedingly well
met.
Cost.
Pray you, Sir, how much carnation ribbon
may a man buy for a remuneration?
Biron.
What is a remuneration?
Cost.
Marry, Sir, half-penny farthing.
Biron.
O why then three farthings worth of silk.
Cost.
I thank your worship. God be with you.
Biron.
O stay, slave, I must employ thee:
As thou wilt win my favour, my good knave,
Do one thing for me that I shall intreat.
Cost.
When would you have it done, Sir?
Biron.
O, this afternoon.
Cost.
Well, I will do it, Sir. Fare you well.
Biron.
O, thou knowest not what it is.
Cost.
I shall know, Sir, when I have done it.
Biron.
Why, villain, thou must know first.
Cost.
I will come to your worship to morrow morning.
Biron.
It must be done this afternoon.
Hark, slave, it is but this:
The Princess comes to hunt here in the park:
And in her train there is a gentle lady;
When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
-- 146 --
And Rosaline they call her; ask for her,
And to her sweet hand see thou do commend
This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go.
[gives him a shilling.
Cost.
Guerdon,—O sweet guerdon! better than
remuneration, eleven pence farthing better: most sweet
guerdon! I will do it, Sir, in print. Guerdon, remuneration.—
[Exit.
Biron.
O! and I, forsooth, in love!
I, that have been love's whip;
A very beadle to a humourous sigh:
A critic; nay, a night-watch constable;
A domineering pedant o'er the boy,
Than whom no mortal more magnificent.
This whimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signior Junio's giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid,2 note
-- 147 --
Regent of love-rhimes, lord of folded arms,
Th' anointed Sovereign of sighs and groans:
Leige of all loiterers and malecontents:
Dread Prince of plackets, King of codpieces:
Sole Imperator, and great General
Of trotting * noteparitors: (O my little heart!)
And I to be a corporal of his File,3 note
And wear his colours! like a tumbler's hoop!
What? what? I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
A Woman, that is like a German clock,
Still a repairing; ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watch'd, that it may still go right:
Nay, to be perjur'd, which is worst of all:
And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heav'n, one that will do the deed,
Tho' Argus were her eunuch and her guard;
-- 148 --
And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
To pray for her! go to!—It is a plague,
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty, dreadful, little, Might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan:
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.
[Exit.* note
Samuel Johnson [1765], The plays of William Shakespeare, in eight volumes, with the corrections and illustrations of Various Commentators; To which are added notes by Sam. Johnson (Printed for J. and R. Tonson [and] C. Corbet [etc.], London) [word count] [S11001].
