Mir.
Shame, that a Prince so prime should be so loaded
Heir to such incomes, yet so incommoded.
Come, let me bear it for you.

Fer.
You? my bird,
Bear such a burden? Good, upon my word.

Mir.
Nay, come; throw off this dire log-bearing curse—
Set down the dire log, and let's converse.

Fer. (throwing down wood.)
I'll cut my wood, Miranda, if you please— [looking fondly at her.]
You in this Island bred, are quite the cheese.
Your gait's most stylish!—just what I admire:
Miranda! you're an angel.

Mir.
You're—another.

DUET. Tune—“Giles Scroggins.” Fer.
I've courted many a girl in town. Ri tol, &c.
But you the fairest of them all put down. Ri tol, &c.
You take my fancy—just a few!
And—if you loves me as I love you,
What's handsome I intend to do. Ri tol, &c. Mir.
Yes, but I fear that fast men's wives. Ri tol, &c.
Lead far from comfortable lives. Ri tol, &c.
I hate casinos—gents I dread,
And latch-keys, pipes, and negro-head.
You must alter when we're mar-ri-ed. Ri tol, &c.
I will alter when we're mar-ri-ed. Ri tol, &c. Fer.
But to resume my pleasant occupation,
Or I again may taste incarceration. [Tries to lift the log, but appears quite exhausted, an unable to move it.
I'm quite done up.

Mir.
You're ill; ah! yes, I know
I'll go and fetch Papa, and tell him so:
He will prescribe—

Fer.
Some food were better far
Than any Life Pills made by your old Pa'.

Mir.
Then you shall have some in a crack, or less,
Spite of Papa. [Exit, L.

Fer.
A case of real distress!
I faint—I die. Yet stay, in dying though,
In operas, folks must sing before they go;
It's a queer rule, yet still I must obey it. (To orchestra.)
I think you've got the music, perhaps you'll play it?

SONG.—Ferdinand. Tune—“The Four-leaved Shamrock.”
I'd eat a score of oysters,
  If all these fairy dells
Such native beauties could but boast;
  Oh! how I'd clean the shells.

Or if a smoking mutton chop
  Mine eyes could but behold,
I don't imagine it would stand
  Much chance of growing cold.
But such like dainties, I'm afraid,
  Just here don't much abound;
For not an inn or eating-house
  Can in this Isle be found.
Oh! for some victuals! [Ariel rises through a trap, L. with a napkin over his arm, in the style of a waiter. Ferdinand starts.

Ari.
Give your orders, please!
We've roast beef, boiled beef, 'tatoes, carrots, cheese.

Fer.
Why, where did you come from?

Ari.
I mustn't tell!
Please give your orders.

Fer. (aside.)
Now, is this a sell?
It's worth the trial. (To Ariel.) Oh! I don't care what.
Just bring me something—anything you've got. [Ariel waves his wand—a splendid banquet rises, C. Fairies flock in and surround the table. Ferdinand begins eating voraciously.

Fer. (eating.)
I really do with things the strangest meet—
This peck now—quite an unexpected treat!
It's strange. Some folks would be alarmed at this;
But to us “fast men” nothing comes amiss.
The time's gone by for ghostly retributions.
Folks heed ghosts now no more than revolutions. [Rises.
Your banquet's quite reformed me—clear away. [Table sinks.
Soon done, at any rate! Come here, I say— (to Ariel.)

Ari.
Well, sir?

Fer.
Just answer me a civil question:
Don't you think dancing serves to aid digestion?

Ari.
No one of any common sense would doubt it.

Fer.
Then choose a partner, and look sharp about it. [Selects one of the Fairies.

Ari.
With all my heart. [Chooses a partner.
The Trois Temps, is it?

Fer. (indignantly.)
No;
Do you imagine I could be so slow?

Ari.
Of course—I did but joke; come, don't resent it.
Vive La Deux Temps! Now off, as if we meant it.

[Ferdinand, Ariel, and two Fairies dance the Deux Temps very rapidly, finishing with a polka. The other Fairies group round, and beat time on the stage with their staves. Music dies gradually away. Ariel and all the Fairies sink simultaneously through traps. Ferdinand continues dancing alone. Enter Miranda, L. with basket.

Mir.
Come, Prince, arouse; take this your heart to cheer.
What! gone? oh! Ferdinand, where are you? [Music stops abruptly. Ferdinand stands still.

Fer.
Here!

Mir.
Come then, take this. What means your head averted?

Fer.
Thank you, I've dined.

Mir.
I feared you had deserted.

Fer.
Me! a deserter from your company?
Oh! no; “Miranda, wilt thou gang wi' me?”
Say yes! Let's mizzle—bolt—elope I mean.

Mir.
What! run to Gretna? no; that would be green.

Fer.
Hah! you refuse me?

Mir.
Did you never guess,
When girls say “no,” they half their time mean “yes?”

Fer.
Then you will come?

Mir.
Yes!

Fer.
Does that “yes” mean “no?”

Mir.
No!

Fer.
That means “yes.”

Mir.
Oh! no; it means I'll go. (hesitating.)
But when we're gone Pa'll get in such a rage.

Fer.
Fathers are always savage on the stage.
Come, dear Miranda, let's no longer tarry—
Let us at once be “persons about to marry.”
There, that's a dear—soon will be rumours rise
Concerning an “Elopement in high life.” [Exeunt, R.

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