Air, “Heigho! says Rowley!” Lady A.
When first I fell in love, heigho!
Heigho! said Nancy.
'Twas with a well made, dashing beau,
At first I thought him quite the go,
  With his bow and scrape, and yards of tape,
Oh, yes! he took my fancy.
But him I drop'd like a hot potato;
Heigho! said Nancy.
Saying, get you hence, for you I hate, O,
If you do not brush, I'll crack your pate, O,
  You dandy fop, you'd better hop,
Skip, jump, away from Nancy.
The next that came he won my heart,
Heigho! my fancy.

Both day and night he made it smart,
He knew how to play his part,
  With his trying, sighing, melting, dying,
He soon got over Nancy!
But of these joys I was too fond,
Heigho! said Nancy!
Dick murder'd him, but don't abscond,
I wish he'd cross'd the Herring Pond,
  With an escort, from court, in a transport,
But not on board the Nancy! [Sits down and weeps. Enter Glo'ster, L. H. D.

Glo.
What! still in tears! why don't she die?
She can't for ever pipe her eye;
Then die she must, and quickly too,
For I've another one in view;
And since my heart a tenant now must lose,
'Tis time I should another lodger choose.
So, ma'am, you still take care, I see,
To make the world believe we don't agree;
I'd have you tell the world our parting
Would break your heart—

Lady A.
And so I would, but they would call it gammon,
'Tis vain to fish for flats among the salmon;
Have I deserv'd all this, that scold you must?

Glo.
You have; you do not please me as at first.

Lady A.
What have I done? to know I've giv'n this jewel,
Unless the singeing of your last night's gruel,
Lies heavy on your heart, and makes you cruel.

Glo.
No singed oatmeal batter have we here,
Nor singed love! the flame burns clear,
Hotter and hotter than Welch rabbits,
The fair Elizabeth my breast inhabits.
Now wert thou not afraid of arsenic's power,
You might the ghost give up this very hour! Lady Anne goes to the Scene, takes down a Picture, and advances towards Glo'ster.

Air, “Mark a poor desolate maid.” Lady A.
Ah, mark a poor widow just made,
By a second false husband betray'd.

Behold now her white dish clout cheek,
All the monsters ill usage bespeak;
And here kneels the poor harmless dupe,
Who scarcely is able to stoop;
And here stands the rogue like a fixture,
Start not! start not, 'tis but a picture.
Behold in her poor half starv'd face,
What would an old miser disgrace;
And gaze on those outlines of care,
That would almost the devil scare.
Ah, say do you know who she is?
Pray can you remember her phiz?
I well know the rogue like a fixture;
Start not! start not, 'tis but a picture.

Glo.
'Tis false I say, I loved you once; but I
Must cut the string—and now I'll tell you why.
I took you first as sailors take tobacco,
Your virtue gone, you now become a hack.

Lady A.
Oh!

Air, “False man, you courted Sally.” Lady A.
False man, you courted Anne, O,
  With punch you fill'd her noddle;
Yes, yes, you wicked man, O,
  Untill she could not waddle.
And then you basely took, O,
  Advantage of her weakness,

And now quite big you look, O,
  And triumph o'er her meekness.
But I'll not stay another day,
  To be by you tormented;
No, blow me if I do, I say,
  It shall be all resented. [Exit, R. H. Enter Buckingham, L. H. D.

Glo.
Now coz, what's the news? come say,
A pretty decent time you stay;
What say the citizens?

Buck.
Why, they
All seem with fear, to be struck dead!
Or dumb as herrings that are red.

Glo.
And did you to these cursed dastards,
Touch on Edward's brats—as bastards?

Buck.
I did; and then of his contract
With amorous Lucy* ^note

His own bastardy, his cowardice!
I told 'em that you floor'd him twice.
And how you mill'd the Scottish man,
Who was the champion of the clan!
I said that you was down to fibbing,
You too could handle well the ribbing.

So when I drew towards a close,
And in my fogle blew my nose,
I urg'd them all now not to stick
At crying out “Long live King Dick!”

Glo.
Well, did they so?

Air, “Bartholomew Fair.” Buck.
Not one, upon my soul,
Was there among the whole,
But they all stood like statues,
Yet none of them refuse;
In one another's phizzes,
Now each rascal quizzes,
  My eyes! how they did stare O
    The Lord Mayor, said beware,
    By an order, the Recorder,
    Will relate, what you prate,
    So push on!—whereupon,
    This magpie,—are you fly?
  Like a counsellor did tare O.
When he had done his speech,
I expected it from each;
But scarce ten voices cried,
“Long live King Dick!”—I ey'd
'Em out, bowed, and then.
Took advantage of the ten,
  Crying “Thanks, Citizens!” oh, rare O!

Glo.
Oh, tongueless blocks! thanks for thy patter;
But will the Mayor not come?

Buck.
I hear his clatter;
Your brains you'd best pretend to addle,
With a pray'r book stuck in your daddle,
Standing with a bishop—but beware,
He is not the Bishop of Clo&wblank;.
Seem like the virgin, fearful to disclose
Your wishes—keep all under the rose!

Glo.
We cannot fail, my boy, while you are firm,
You are myself—and I'll be soon Maw-worm. [Exit in a hurry, R. H. D. Enter Lord Mayor, and Suite, L. H.

Buck.
Welcome, my lord; I've knock'd, but all in vain.

May.
Will no one answer?

Buck.
No!

May.
Then knock again. [Buckingham knocks R. H. D.

Enter Glo'ster, R. H. D. in a long Cloak and large Hat, with a Candle in one hand and a Prayer Book in the other.

Air—From “Don Giovanni.” Glo.
What profane wretch dare knock at my street door,
  While I am at my prayers? Buck.
We saw a light in your first floor,
  And wish'd to walk up stairs. Glo.
    A Charlie could I see,
    I'd give charge of thee,
To the round house you should go. Buck.
    How is this—surely
    You sham Abraham!—why
Don't you your own friends know? Glo.
Come brush—I never saw your snouts before
  You seem to be a set of mummers. Buck.
Pray look again, before you shut the door,
  From the City we are comers!
    How you stare—the Lord Mayor,
    With Citizens so rare,
Come here to make you their king. Glo.
    A preaching I go,
    And now I say blow
Me, if they do any such thing.

May. (kneels with Suite.)
Upon our marrowbones you see,
We come to beg this suit of thee;
That is, that you would wear the crown;
Oh, do not let that suit be brown!

Glo.
Cease I pray, no more beseeching,
You see I want to go a preaching.

Buck.
Good day, my lords, 'tis all in vain. [Exeunt, L. H. D.

Cat.
Pray do be king!

Glo.
Call him again. [Catesby crosses and exits, L. H. D.

Air—From “Don Giovanni.” Glo.
It seems to be King, you now will enforce me,
  In spite of my teeth, I must then comply;
That I am against it, you must of course see,
  For that you may twig sure with half an eye. Re-enter Buckingham and Catesby, L. H. D. Buckingham crosses to Glo'ster. Glo.
Good cousin, and sage men, so grave looking,
  Since you will buckle a load on my back,

I must carry it, though I declare it's quite shocking,
  To make a porter of me, to make a porter of me,
And give me a load that my poor neck will crack! Buck.
My heart is so full, I can't speak a word, O,
  I'm dumb as a post, tho' some folks have it deaf,
Come down on your marrows, and try to be heard, O. [All kneel.
  Long live King Dick, to cut up roast beef!
So now we'll go and make preparation, May.
  To-morrow you shall be crowned outright,
We go and give orders for your coronation,
  Have all in prime style, have all in prime style, Glo.
And I'll go to prayers, and wish you good night. Exeunt Buckingham, Lord Mayor & Train, L. H. D. Glo'ster, R. H. D. END OF THE FIRST ACT.

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