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Cooper, James Fenimore, 1789-1851 [1823], The pioneers, volume 1 (Charles Wiley, New York) [word count] [eaf054v1].
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CHAPTER IV.

How now? whose mare's dead? what's the matter?

Falstaff.

[figure description] Page 044.[end figure description]

A few minutes resolved whatever doubts our
travellers entertained, as to the description of
those who were approaching them with such exhilarating
sounds. A large lumber-sleigh, drawn
by four horses, was soon seen dashing through the
leafless bushes, which fringed the road that was
here, as on the other side of the mountain, cut
into the hill. The leaders were of gray, and the
pole-horses of a jet black. Bells, innumerable,
were suspended from every part of the harness,
where one of those tinkling balls could be placed;
while the rapid movement of the equipage, in defiance
of the steep ascent, announced the desire
of the driver to ring them to the utmost. The
first glance at this singular arrangement, satisfied
the Judge as to the character of those in the sleigh.
It contained four male figures. On one of those
stools that are used at writing desks, lashed firmly
to the sides of the vehicle, was seated a little man,
enveloped in a great coat fringed with fur, in such
a manner that no part of him was visible excepting
a face, of an unvarying red colour. There
was an habitual upward look about the head of
this gentleman, as if it were dissatisfied with the
proximity to the earth that nature had decreed in

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his stature, and the expression of his countenance
was that of busy care. He was the charioteer, and
he guided the mettled animals that he drove along
the precipice, with a fearless eye, and a steady
hand. Immediately behind him, with his face toward
the other two, was a tall figure, to whose appearance
not even the duplicate over-coats which
he wore, aided by the corner of a horse blanket,
could give the appearance of strength. His face
was protruding from beneath a woollen night-cap;
and when he turned to the vehicle of Marmaduke
as the sleighs approached each other, it seemed
formed by nature to cut the atmosphere with the
least possible resistance. The eyes alone appeared
to create an obstacle, as from either side
of his forehead their light, blue, glassy balls
projected. The sallow of his countenance was
a colour too permanent to be affected even by the
intense cold of the evening. Opposite to this personage,
sat a square figure of large proportions.
No part of his form was to be discovered through
his over dress, but a full face with an agreeable
expression, that was illuminated by a pair of animated
black eyes of a lurking look, that gave the
lie to every demure feature in his countenance.—
A fair, jolly wig furnished a neat and rounded outline
to his visage, and he, as well as the other
two, wore martin-skin caps as outward coverings
for their heads. The fourth, was a meek-looking,
long-visaged man, without any other protection
from the cold than that which was furnished by a
black surtout, made with some little formality, but
which was rather thread-bare and rusty. He wore
a hat of extremely decent proportions, though
frequent brushing had quite destroyed its nap.
His face was pale, with a little melancholy, but so
slightly expressed, as to leave the beholder in
doubt, whether it proceeded from mental or

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bodily ailment. The air had given it, just now, a
slight and somewhat feverish flush. The character
of his whole appearance, especially contrasted
to the air of humour in his next companion, was
that of an habitual, but subdued dejection. No
sooner had the two sleighs approached within
speaking distance, than the driver of this fantastic
equipage shouted aloud—

“Draw up in the quarry—draw up, thou king of
the Greeks; draw into the quarry, Agamemnon,
or I shall never be able to pass you. Welcome
home, cousin 'duke—welcome, welcome my blackeyed
Bess. Thou seest, Marmaduke, that I have
taken the field with an assorted cargo, to do thee
honour. Monsieur Le Quoi has come out with
only one cap; Old Fritz would not stay to finish
the bottle; and Mr. Grant has got to put the “lastly”
to his sermon, yet. Even all the horses would
come—by-the-by, Judge, I must sell these blacks
for you, immediately; they both interfere, and
then the nigh one is a bad goer in double harness.
I can get rid of them to—”

“Sell what thou wilt, Dickon,” interrupted the
cheerful voice of the Judge, “so that thou leavest
me my daughter and my lands. Ah! Fritz, my
old friend, this is a kind compliment, indeed, for
seventy to pay to five and forty. Monsieur Le
Quoi, I am your servant. Mr. Grant,” lifting his
cap, “I feel indebted to your attention. Gentlemen,
I make you acquainted with my child.—
Yours are names with which she is very familiar.”

“Velcome, velcome, Tchooge,” said the elder
of the party, with a strong German accent. “Miss
Petsy vilt owe me a kiss.”

“And cheerfully will I pay it, my good sir,”
cried the soft voice of Elizabeth; which sounded
in the clear air of the hills, like tones of silver,

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amid the loud cries of Richard, and the manly
greetings of the gentleman. “I have always a
kiss for my old friend. Major Hartmann.”

By this time the gentleman on the front seat,
who had been addressed as Monsieur Le Quoi,
rose with some difficulty, owing to the impediment
of his over coats, and steadying himself by
placing one hand on the stool of the charioteer,
with the other, he removed his cap, and bowing
politely to the Judge, and profoundly to Elizabeth,
he said with a smile that opened a mouth of no
common dimensions—

“Ver velcome home, Monsieur Templ'. Ah!
Mam'selle Liz'bet, you ver humble sairvant.”

“Cover thy poll, Gaul, cover thy poll,” cried
the driver, who was Mr. Richard Jones; “cover
thy poll, or the frost will pluck out the remnant
of thy locks. Had the hairs on the head of Absalom
been as scarce as on this crown of thine, he
might have been living to this day.” The jokes
of Richard never failed of exciting risibility, for if
others were unbending, he uniformly did honour
to his own wit; and he enjoyed a hearty laugh on
the present occasion, while Mr. Le Quoi resumed
his seat with a polite reciprocation in his mirth.
The clergyman, for such was the office of Mr.
Grant, modestly, though quite affectionately, exchanged
his greetings with the travellers also, when
Richard prepared to turn the heads of his horses
homewards.

It was in the quarry alone that he could effect
this object, without ascending to the summit of the
mountain. A very considerable excavation had
been made into the side of the hill, at the point
where Richard had succeeded in stopping the
sleighs, from which the stones used for building in
the village, were ordinarily quarried, and in which
he now attempted to turn his team. Passing

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itself, was a task of difficulty, and frequently of danger,
in that narrow road; but Richard had to
meet the additional risk of turning his four-in-hand.
The black very civilly volunteered his services to
take off the leaders, and the Judge very earnestly
seconded the measure, with his advice. Richard
treated the proposal with great disdain—

“Why, and wherefore, cousin 'duke,” he exclaimed
a little angrily; “the horses are as gentle
as lambs. You know that I broke the leaders
myself, and the pole-horses are too near my whip
to be restive. Here is Mr. Le Quoi, now, who
must know something about driving, because he
has rode out so often with me; I will leave it to
Mr. Le Quoi whether there is any danger.”

Thus appealed to, it was not in the nature of
the Frenchman to disappoint expectations that
were so confidently formed; although he sat looking
down the precipice which fronted him, as
Richard turned his leaders into the quarry, with
a pair of eyes that stood at least half-an-inch from
his visage. The German's muscles were unmoved,
but his quick sight scanned each movement
with an understanding expression, that blended
amusement at Richard's dilemma, with anxiety
at their situation. Mr. Grant placed his hands on
the side of the sleigh, in preparation for a spring,
but moral timidity deterred him from taking the
leap, that bodily apprehension strongly urged him
to attempt.

Richard, by a sudden application of his whip,
succeedeed in forcing his leaders into the snow-bank
that covered the quarry; but the instant that
the impatient animals suffered by the crust,
through which they broke at each step, they positively
refused to move an inch further in that direction.
On the contrary, finding that the cries
and blows of their driver were redoubled at this

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juncture, the leaders backed upon the pole-horses,
who, in their turn, backed the sleigh. Only a single
log lay above the pile which upheld the road,
on the side toward the valley, which was now buried
in the snow. The sleigh was easily forced
across this slight impediment; and before Richard
became conscious of his danger, one half of the vehicle
was projected over a precipice, which fell,
nearly perpendicularly, more than a hundred feet.
The Frenchman, who, by his position, had a full
view of their threatened flight, instinctively threw
his body as far forward as possible in the sleigh,
and cried, “Ah! Mon cher monsieur Deeck!
mon dieu! prenez gardez vous!”

“Donner and blitzen, Richart,” exclaimed the
veteran German, looking over the side of the
sleigh with unusual emotion, “put you will preak
ter sleigh and kilt ter horses.”

“Good Mr. Jones,” said the clergyman, losing
the slight flush that cold had given to his cheeks,
“be prudent, good sir—be careful.”

“Get up, you obstinate devils!” cried Richard,
catching a bird's-eye view of his situation,
applying his whip with new vigour, and unconsciously
kicking the stool on which he sat, as if
inclined to urge the inanimate wood forward;
“Get up, I say—Cousin 'duke, I shall have to sell
the grays too; they are the worst broken horses—
Mr. Le Quaw!” Richard was too much agitated
to regard his pronunciation, of which he was
commonly a little vain; “Monsieur Le Quaw,
pray get off my leg; you hold my leg so tight
that it's no wonder I can't guide the horses.

“Merciful Providence!” exclaimed the Judge,
“they will be all killed!”

Elizabeth gave a piercing shriek, and the black
of Agamemnon's face changed to a muddy white.

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At this critical moment, the young hunter, who,
during the salutations of the parties, had sat in
rather sullen silence, sprang from the sleigh of
Marmaduke to the heads of the refractory leaders.
The horses, who were yet suffering under the injudicious
and somewhat random blows from Richard,
were dancing up and down with that ominous
movement, that threatens a sudden and uncontrollable
start, and pressing backward instead
of going into the quarry. The youth gave the
leaders a powerful jerk, and they plunged aside,
by the path they had themselves trodden, and reentered
the road in the position in which they were
first halted. The sleigh was whirled from its
dangerous position, and upset with its runners
outwards. The German and the divine were
thrown rather unceremoniously into the highway,
but without danger to their bones. Richard appeared
in the air, for a moment, describing the
segment of a circle, of which the reins were the
radii, and was landed at the distance of some fifteen
feet, in that snow-bank which the horses had
dreaded, right end uppermost. Here, as he instinctively
grasped the reins, as drowning men
seize at straws, he admirably served the purpose
of an anchor, to check the further career of his
steeds. The Frenchman who was on his legs in
the act of springing from the sleigh, took an aerial
flight also, much in that attitude which boys assume
when they play leap-frog, and flying off in
a tangent to the curvature of his course, came into
the snow bank head foremost, where he remained,
exhibiting two lathy legs on high, like scare-crows
waving in a corn field. Major Hartmann, whose
self-possession had been admirably preserved during
the whole evolution, was the first of the party
that gained his feet and his voice.

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“Ter deyvel, Richart!” he exclaimed, in a voice
half serious, half comical, “put you unloat your
sleigh very hantily.”

It may be doubtful, whether the attitude in
which Mr. Grant continued for an instant after his
overthrow, was the one into which he had been
thrown, or was assumed, in humbling himself before
the power that he reverenced, in thanksgivings
at his escape. When he rose from his knees,
he began to gaze about him, with anxious looks,
after the welfare of his companions, while every
joint in his body was trembling with nervous agitation.
There was also a slight confusion in the
faculties of Mr. Jones, that continued for some little
time; but as the mist gradually cleared from
before his eyes, he saw that all was safe, and with
an air of great self-satisfaction, he cried, “Well—
that was neatly saved, any how—it was a lucky
thought in me to hold on the reins, or the fiery
devils would have been over the mountain by
this time. How well I recovered myself, cousin
'duke! Another moment would have been too
late; but I knew just the spot where to touch
the off-leader; that blow under his right flank,
and the sudden jerk I gave with the reins, brought
them round quite handsomely, I must own myself.”

“Thou jerk! thou recover thyself, Dickon!”
cried the judge, whose fears were all vanished in
mirth at the discomfiture of the party; “but for
that brave lad yonder, thou and thy horses, or rather
mine, would have assuredly been dashed to
pieces—But where is Monsieur Le Quoi?”

“Oh! mon cher Juge! Mon ami!” cried a
smothered voice, “praise be God I live; vill-a you,
Mister Agamemnon, be pleased come down ici,
and help-a me on my foot?”

The divine and the negro seized the

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incarcernted Gaul by his legs, and extricated him from a
snow-bank of three feet in depth, whence his voice
had sounded as from the tombs. The thoughts of
Mr. Le Quoi, immediately on his liberation, were
not extremely collected; and when he reached
the light, he threw his eyes upwards, in order to
examine the distance he had fallen. His good humour
returned, however, with a knowledge of his
safety, though it was some little time before he
clearly comprehended the case.

“What, monsieur,” said Richard, who was busily
assisting the black in taking off the leaders;
“are you there? I thought I saw you flying up towards
the top of the mountain, but just now.”

“Praise be God, I no fly down into de lake,”
returned the Frenchman, with a visage that was
divided between pain, occasioned by a few large
scratches that he had received in forcing his head
through the crust, and the look of complaisance
that seemed natural to his pliable features: “ah!
mon cher Mister Deeck, vat you do next?—dere
be noting you no try.”

“The next thing, I trust, will be to learn to
drive,” said the Judge, who had busied himself in
throwing the buck, together with several articles
of his baggage, from his own sleigh into the snow;
“here are seats for you all, gentlemen; the evening
grows piercingly cold, and the hour approaches
for the service of Mr. Grant: we will
leave friend Jones to repair the damages, with the
assistance of Agamemnon, and hasten to a warm
fire. Here, Dickon, are a few articles of Bess's
trumpery, that you can throw into your sleigh
when ready, and there is also a deer of my taking,
that I will thank you to bring—Aggy! remember
there will be a visit from Santaclaus to your stocking
to-night, if you are smart and careful about
the buck, and get in, in season.”

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The black grinned with the consciousness of the
bribe that was thus offered him for his silence on
the subject of the deer, while Richard, without, in
the least, waiting for the termination of his cousin's
speech, at once began his reply—

“Learn to drive, sayest thou, cousin duke? Is
there a man in the county who knows more of
horse-flesh than myself? Who broke in the filly,
that no one else dare mount? though your coachman
did pretend that he had tamed her before I
took her in hand, but any body could see that he
lied—he was a great liar, that John—what's that,
a buck?”—Richard abandoned the horses, and
ran to the spot where Marmaduke had thrown
the deer: “It is a buck indeed! I am amazed!
Yes, here are two holes in him; he has fired both
barrels, and hit him each time. Ecod! how Marmaduke
will brag! he is a prodigious bragger
about any small matter like this now; well, well,
to think that 'duke has killed a buck before christmas!
There will be no such thing as living with
him—they are both bad shots though, mere chance—
mere chance;—now, I never fired twice at a
cloven hoof in my life;—it is hit or miss with me—
dead or runaway:—had it been a bear, or a
wild-cat, a man might have wanted both barrels.
Here! you Aggy! how far off was the Judge when
this buck was shot?”

“Eh! Massa Richard, may be a ten rod,” cried
the black, bending under one of the horses, with
the pretence of fastening a buckle, but in reality to
conceal the broad grin that opened a mouth from
ear to ear.

“Ten rod!” echoed the other; “why, Aggy,
the deer I killed last winter was at twenty—yes!
if any thing it was nearer thirty than twenty. I
wouldn't shoot at a deer at ten rod: besides, you
may remember, Aggy, I only fired once.”

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“Yes, Massa Richard, I'member 'em! Natty
Bumppo fire t'oder gun. You know, sir, the folk
say, Natty kill 'em.”

“The folks lie, you black devil!” exclaimed
Richard in great heat. “I have not shot even a
gray squirrel these four years, to which that old
rascal has not laid claim, or some one for him.
This is a damn'd envious world that we live in—
people are always for dividing the credit of a thing,
in order to bring down merit to their own level.
Now they have a story about the Patent, that
Hiram Doolittle helped to plan the steeple to St.
Paul's; when Hiram knows that it is entirely mine;
a little taken from a print of its namesake in London,
I own; but all the rest is mine.”

“I don't know where he come from,” said the
black, losing every mark of humour in au expression
of deep admiration, “but eb'ry body say, he
wonnerful hansome.”

“And well they may say so, Aggy,” cried Richard,
leaving the buck, and walking up to the negro
with the air of a man who has new interest
awakened within him. “I think I may say, without
bragging, that it is the handsomest and the
most scientific country church in America. I
know that the Connecticut settlers talk about
their Weathersfield meeting-house; but I never
believe more than half of what they say, they are
such unconscionable braggers. Just as you have
got a thing done, if they see it likely to be successful,
they are always for interfering; and then its
ten to one but they lay claim to half, or even all
of the credit. You may remember, Aggy, when
I painted the sign of the bold dragoon for Capt.
Hollister, there was that fellow, who was about
town laying brick dust on the houses, came one
day and offered to mix what I call the streaky
black, for the tail and mane, and then, because it

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looks just like horse hair, he tells every body that
the sign was painted by himself and Squire Jones.
If Marmaduke don't send that fellow off the Patent,
he may ornament his village with his own
hands, for me.” Here Richard paused a moment,
and cleared his throat by a loud hem, while the
negro, who was all this time busily engaged in
preparing their sleigh, proceeded with his work
in respectful silence. Owing to the religious
scruples of the Judge, Aggy was the servant of
Richard, who had his services for a time, and who,
of course, commanded a legal claim to the respect
of the young negro. But when any dispute between
his lawful master and his real benefactor occurred,
the black felt too much deference for both
to express any opinion. In the mean while, Richard
continued watching the negro as he fastened
buckle after buckle, until, stealing a look of consciousness
toward the other, he continued, “Now,
if that young man, who was in your sleigh, is a
real Connecticut settler, he will be telling every
body how he saved my horses, when, if he had
just let them alone for one half a minute longer,
I would have brought them in much better, without
upsetting, with the whip and rein—it spoils
a horse to give him his head. I should not wonder
if I had to sell the whole team, just for that
one jerk that he gave them.” Richard again
paused, and again hemmed; for his conscience
smote him a little, for censuring a man who had
just saved his life—“Who is the lad, Aggy—I
don't remember to have seen him before?”

The black recollected the hint about Santaclaus;
and while he briefly explained how they
had taken him on the top of the mountain, he
forbore to add any thing concerning the accident
of the wound, only saying, that he believed the

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youth was a stranger. It was so usual for men of
the first rank to take into their sleighs any one
whom they found toiling through the snow, that
Richard was perfectly satisfied with this explanation.
He heard Aggy, with great attention, and
then remarked, “Well, if the lad has not been
spoiled by the people in Templeton, he may be a
modest young man, and as he certainly meant
well, I shall take some notice of him—perhaps he
is land-hunting—I say, Aggy—may be he is out
hunting?”

“Eh! yes, massa Richard,” said the black, a
little confused; for as Richard did all the flogging,
he stood in great terror of his master, in the
main—“yes, sir, I b'lieve he be.”

“Had he a pack and an ax?”

“No, sir, only he rifle.”

“Rifle!” exclaimed Richard, observing the
confusion of the negro, which now amounted to
terror. “By Jove! he killed the deer. I knew
that Marmaduke couldn't kill a buck on the jump—
How was it, Aggy? tell me all about it, and I'll
roast 'duke quicker than he can roast his saddle—
How was it, Aggy? the lad shot the buck, and
the Judge bought it, ha! and is taking him down
to get the pay?”

The pleasure of this discovery had put Richard
in such a good humour, that the negro's fears in
some measure vanished, and he remembered the
stocking. After a gulp or two, he made out to reply—

“You forgit a two shot, sir?”

“Don't lie, you black rascal!” cried Richard,
stepping on the snow-bank to measure the distance
from his long lash to the negro's back; “speak
the truth, or I'll trounce you.” While speaking,
the stock was slowly rising in Richard's right

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hand, and the lash drawing through his left, in the
scientific manner with which drummers apply the
cat, and Agamemnon, after turning each side of
himself towards his master, and finding all equally
unwilling to remain there, forgetful of his great
name, fairly gave in. In a very few words he
made his master acquainted with the truth, at the
same time earnestly conjuring Richard to protect
him from the displeasure of the Judge.

“I'll do it, boy, I'll do it,” cried the other, rubbing
his hands with delight; “say nothing, but
leave me to manage 'duke—I have a damn'd great
mind to leave the deer on the hill, and to make
the fellow send for his own carcass: but no, I will
let Marmaduke tell a few bouncers about it before
I come out upon him. Come, hurry in, Aggy, I
must help to dress the lad's wound; this Yankee
doctor knows nothing of surgery—I had to hold
old Milligan's leg for him, while he cut it off.”—
Richard was now seated on the stool again, and
the black taking the hind seat, the steeds were put
in motion towards home. As they dashed down
the hill, on a fast trot, the driver occasionally turned
his face to Aggy, and continued speaking; for,
notwithstanding their recent rupture, the most perfect
cordiality was again existing between them.
“This goes to prove that I turned the horses with
the reins, for no man who is shot in the right shoulder,
can have strength enough to bring round such
obstinate devils. I knew I did it from the first;
but I did not want to multiply words with Marmaduke
about it—Will you bite, you villain?—hip,
boys, hip! Old Natty too, that is the best of it—
Well, well—'duke will say no more about my deer—
and the Judge fired both barrels, and hit nothing
but a poor lad, who was behind a pine tree. I
must help that quack to take out the buck shot
for the poor fellow.” In this manner Richard

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descended the mountain; the bells ringing and his
tongue going, until they entered the village, when
the whole attention of the driver was devoted to a
display of his horsemanship, to the admiration of
all the gaping women and children, who thronged
the windows, to witness the arrival of their landlord
and his daughter.

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Cooper, James Fenimore, 1789-1851 [1823], The pioneers, volume 1 (Charles Wiley, New York) [word count] [eaf054v1].
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