Friar.
The sun is up and, and ere its piping heat
Shall set the good folks sweating in the street,
Off to the English Tavern I must scamper,
And with good London Porter fill this hamper. (Enter Romeo.)

Romeo.
My jolly friar! good morning to your night-cap.

Friar.
Jesting with sober church-men isn't right, chap.

Why at this early hour dost sneak about,
With face unwashed, and pale as any clout?
Uncovered too! for shame! go seek thy hatter,
But ere thou go'st, pray tell me what's the matter?

Romeo.
I will, in half a shake; so list to me;
I have been feasting with mine enemy,
Where one did pierce me, whom I wounded too;
The cure of both, old boy, depends on you.

Friar.
Be plain, thou know'st I never deal in physic.

Romeo.
Then plainly, love has given me the phthisic;
I'm head and ears in love with the fair daughter
Of Capulet; and love has also caught her:
Therefore I beg this day you will us marry;
We can't our passion smother.

Friar.
By th' Lord Harry
I think you're much too hot: do, pray, be heedful,
And don't be spliced unless you touch the needful:
Although old Capulet has ducats many;
I dont believe he'll give his girl a penny
If she wed you, so prithee amorous son,—
Copy our bucks of fashion,—cut and run.

Romeo.
Indeed I shan't, my love is true and fervent;
So goodman Friar, your very humble servant;
I'll make all haste, and seek another priest,
Nor will I ask you to our wedding feast:
For if you will not both in wedlock splice,
With me, your mutton you shall never slice.

Friar.
Well, I'll consent to do the friendly deed:
So come with me.

Romeo.
Then trip along with speed;
For I'm all over in a sweat and flurry.

Friar.
Be calm—no job's well done that's done in hurry. [Exeunt.

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