E. Ant.
Fear me not, man; I will not break away;
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much mony,
To warrant thee, as I am rested for.

My wife is in a wayward mood to day,
And will not lightly trust the messenger.
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.— Enter Dromio of Ephesus, with a rope's-end.
Here comes my man; I think, he brings the mony.
How now, Sir, have you That I sent you for?

E. Dro.
Here's That, I warrant you, will pay them all.

E. Ant.
But where's the mony?

E. Dro.
Why, Sir, I gave the mony for the rope.

E. Ant.
Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

E. Dro.
I'll serve you, Sir, five hundred at the rate.

E. Ant.
To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

E. Dro.

To a rope's end, Sir; and to that end am I return'd.

E. Ant.
And to that end, Sir, I will welcome you. [Beats Dro.

Off.

Good Sir, be patient.

E. Dro.

Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

Offi.

Good now, hold thy tongue.

E. Dro.

Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

E. Ant.

Thou whorson, senseless villain!

E. Dro.

I would, I were senseless, Sir, that I might not feel your blows.

E. Ant.

Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.

E. Dro.

I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have serv'd him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me with beating; I am wak'd with it, when I sleep; rais'd with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcom'd home with it, when I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lam'd me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

Enter Adriana, Luciana, Curtezan, and Pinch.

E. Ant.

Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

(19) ^note

Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecie, like the parrot, beware the rope's-end.—

E. Ant.

Wilt thou still talk?

Cur.
How say you now? is not your husband mad?

Adr.
His incivility confirms no less.
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a Conjurer,
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.

Luc.
Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!

Cur.
Mark, how he trembles in his ecstasie!

Pinch.
Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.

E. Ant.
There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

Pinch.
I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man,

To yield possession to my holy prayers;
And to thy state of darkness hie thee strait,
I conjure thee by all the Saints in heav'n.

E. Ant.
Peace, doating wizard, peace; I am not mad.

Adr.
Oh, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!

E. Ant.
You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I deny'd to enter in my house?

Adr.
Oh, husband, God doth know, you din'd at home,
Where, would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!

E. Ant.
Din'd I at home? thou villain, what say'st thou?

E. Dro.
Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.

E. Ant.
Were not my doors lock'd up, and I shut out?

E. Dro.
Perdie, your doors were lock'd, and you shut out.

E. Ant.
And did not she her self revile me there?

E. Dro.
Sans fable, she her self revil'd you there.

E. Ant.
Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?

E. Dro.
Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.

E. Ant.
And did not I in rage depart from thence?

E. Dro.
In verity, you did; my bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of your rage.

Adr.
Is't good to sooth him in these contraries?

Pinch.
It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,
And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.

E. Ant.
Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

Adr.
Alas, I sent you mony to redeem you,
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

E. Dro.
Mony by me? heart and good will you might,
But, surely, master, not a rag of money.

E. Ant.
Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?

Adr.
He came to me, and I deliver'd it.

Luc.
And I am witness with her, that she did.

E. Dro.
God and the rope-maker do bear me witness,
That I was sent for nothing but a rope.

Pinch.
Mistress, both man and master are possest;
I know it by their pale and deadly looks;
They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.

E. Ant.
Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to day,
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

Adr.
I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

E. Dro.
And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold,
But I confess, Sir, that we were lock'd out.

Adr.
Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

E. Ant.
Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
And art confederate with a damned pack,
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I'll pluck out those false eyes,
That would behold in me this shameful sport. Enter three or four, and offer to bind him: he strives.

Adr.
Oh, bind him, bind him, let him not come near me.

Pinch.
More company;—the fiend is strong within him.

Luc.
Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!

E. Ant.
What, will you murther me? thou jailor, thou,
I am thy prisoner, wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue?

Offi.
Masters; let him go:
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

Pinch.
Go, bind this man, for he is frantick too.

Adr.
What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

Offi.
He is my prisoner; if I let him go,
The debt, he owes, will be requir'd of me.

Adr.
I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee;
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, [They bind Ant. and Dro.

And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good master Doctor, see him safe convey'd
Home to my house. Oh, most unhappy day!

E. Ant.
Oh, most unhappy strumpet!

E. Dro.
Master, I'm here enter'd in bond for you.

E. Ant.
Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?

E. Dro.

Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master; cry, the devil.—

Luc.
God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!

Adr.
Go bear him hence; sister, stay you with me. [Exeunt Pinch, Ant. and Dro.
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at? Manent Officer, Adri. Luci. and Curtezan.

Offi.
One Angelo, a goldsmith; do you know him?

Adr.
I know the man; what is the sum he owes?

Offi.
Two hundred ducats.

Adr.
Say, how grows it due?

Offi.
Due for a Chain, your husband had of him.

Adr.
He did bespeak a Chain for me, but had it not.

Cur.
When as your husband all in rage to day
Came to my house, and took away my ring,
(The ring I saw upon his finger now)
Strait after, did I meet him with a Chain.

Adr.
It may be so, but I did never see it.
Come, jailor, bring me where the goldsmith is,
I long to know the truth hereof at large. Enter Antipholis Syracusan with his rapier drawn, and Dromio Syrac.

Luc.
God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.

Adr.
And come with naked swords;
Let's call more help to have them bound again.

Offi.
Away, they'll kill us. [They run out. Manent Ant. and Dro.

S. Ant.
I see, these witches are afraid of swords.

S. Dro.
She, that would be your wife, now ran from you.

S. Ant.
Come to the Centaur, fetch our stuff from thence:
I long, that we were safe and sound aboard.

S. Dro.

Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us no harm; you saw, they spake us fair, gave us gold; methinks, they are such a gentle nation, that but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to stay here still, and turn witch.

S. Ant.
I will not stay to night for all the town;
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. [Exeunt.

Previous section