John Rugby.
Quic.
What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to
the casement, and see if you can see my
master, master Doctor Caius, coming; if he do, i'faith,
and find any body in the house, here will be old abusing
of God's patience, and the King's English.
Rug.
I'll go watch.
[Exit Rugby.
Quic.
Go, and we'll have a posset for't soon at
night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An
honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come
in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor
-- 238 --
no breed-bate; his worst fault is, that he is given to
pray'r; he is something peevish that way; but no body
but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you
say, your name is.
Sim.
Ay, for fault of a better.
Quic.
And master Slender's your master?
Sim.
Ay, forsooth.
Quic.
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
glover's paring-knife?
Sim.
No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee-face,
with a little yellow beard, (9) notea Cain-colour'd beard.
Quic.
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim.
Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his
hands, as any is between this and his head: he hath
fought with a warrener.
Quic.
How say you? oh, I should remember him;
does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in
his gate?
Sim.
Yes, indeed, does he.
Quic.
Well, heav'n send Anne Page no worse fortune!
Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for
your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
Enter Rugby.
Rug.
Out, alas! here comes my master.
Quic.
We shall all be shent; run in here, good
young man; go into this closet; [shuts Simple in the
closet.] He will not stay long. What, John Rugby!
John! what, John, I say; go, John, go enquire for
my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not
home: and down, down, a-down-a, &c.
[Sings.
Enter Doctor Caius.
Caius.
Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys; pray
you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a
-- 239 --
box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a
box.
Quic.
Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you.
I am glad, he went not in himself; if he had found the
man, he would have been horn-mad.
[Aside.
Caius.
Fe, fe, fe, fe, ma foi, il fait fort chaud; je me'n
vaie à la Cour—la grande affaire.
Quic.
Is it this, Sir?
Caius.
Ouy, mettez le au mon pocket; Depêchez, quickly;
ver is dat knave Rugby?
Quic.
What, John Rugby! John!
Rug.
Here, Sir.
Caius.
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby;
come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to
the Court.
Rug.
'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch.
Caius.
By my trot, I tarry too long: od's me: Que
ay je oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I
will not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quic.
Ay-me, he'll find the young man there, and
be mad.
Caius.
O Diable! Diable! vat is in my closet? villaine,
Larron! Rugby, my rapier.
[Pulls Simple out of the closet.
Quic.
Good master, be content.
Caius.
Wherefore shall I be content-a?
Quic.
The young man is an honest man.
Caius.
What shall de honest man do in my closet?
dere is no honest man, dat shall come in my closet.
Quic.
I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; hear the
truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parson
Hugh.
Caius.
Vell.
Sim.
Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—
Quic.
Peace, I pray you.
Caius.
Peace-a your tongue, speak-a your tale.
Sim.
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid,
to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my
master in the way of marriage.
Quic.
This is all, indeed-la; but I'll ne'er put my
finger in the fire, and need not.
-- 240 --
Caius.
Sir Hugh send-a-you? Rugby, (10) notebaillez me
some paper; tarry you a little-a-while.
Quic.
I am glad, he is so quiet; if he had been
thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud,
and so melancholy: but notwithstanding, man, I'll do
for your master what good I can; and the very yea
and the no is, the French Doctor my master, (I may
call him my master, look you, for I keep his house,
and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and
drink, make the beds, and do all my self.)
Simp.
'Tis a great charge to come under one body's
hand.
Quic.
Are you a-vis'd o'that? you shall find it a
great charge; and to be up early and down late. But
notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, I would have
no words of it, my master himself is in love with mistress
Anne Page; but, notwithstanding that, I know
Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there.
Caius.
You jack'nape; give a this letter to Sir Hugh;
by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de
parke, and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to
meddle or make—you may be gone; it is not
good you tarry here; by gar, I will cut all his two
stones; by gar he shall not have a stone to trow at his
dog.
[Exit Simple.
Quic.
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius.
It is no matter'a ver dat: do you not tell-a-me,
dat I shall have Anne Page for my self? by gar, I
vill kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine host
of de Jarterre to measure our weapon; by gar, I will
my self have Anne Page.
-- 241 --
Quic.
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be
well: we must give folks leave to prate; what, the
good-jer!
Caius.
Rugby, come to the Court with me;—by
gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head
out of my door;—follow my heels, Rugby.
[Ex. Caius and Rugby.
Quic.
You shall have An fools-head of your own.
No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a Woman
in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor
can do more than I do with her, I thank heav'n.
Fent. [within.]
Who's within there, hoa?
Quic.
Who's there, I trow? come near the house, I
pray you.
Enter Mr. Fenton.
Fent.
How now, good woman, how dost thou?
Quic.
The better, that it pleases your good worship
to ask.
Fent.
What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?
Quic.
In truth, Sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that
by the way, I praise heav'n for it.
Fent.
Shall I do any good, think'st thou? shall I
not lose my suit?
Quic.
Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding,
master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book,
she loves you: have not your worship a wart above
your eye?
Fent.
Yes, marry, have I; and what of that?
Quic.
Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is
such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as
ever broke bread; we had an hour's talk of that wart:
I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! but,
indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing;
but for you—Well—go to—
Fent.
Well, I shall see her to day; hold, there's
mony for thee: let me have thy voice in my behalf;
if thou seest her before me, commend me—
-- 242 --
Quic.
Will I? ay, faith, that we will: and I will tell
your worship more of the wart, the next time we have
confidence, and of other wooers.
Fen.
Well, farewel, I am in great haste now.
[Exit.
Quic.
Farewel to your worship. Truly, an honest
gentleman, but Anne loves him not; I know Anne's
mind as well as another does. Out upon't, what have
I forgot?
[Exit.
Lewis Theobald [1733], The works of Shakespeare: in seven volumes. Collated with the Oldest Copies, and Corrected; With notes, Explanatory and Critical; By Mr. Theobald (Printed for A. Bettesworth and C. Hitch [and] J. Tonson [etc.], London) [word count] [S11201].
