MARCELLUS.

And you will still follow me?

FLORINDA.

I'm resolv'd I will; I will haunt you worse, than a breaking Tradesman does his Debtors; be a greater

Plague to you, than a Bailiff is to a Poet; and, in short, never leave teizing you till I have tir'd myself.

MARCELLUS.

Heaven forbid! for then I shall never be at Liberty again.

FLORINDA.

Why, pray, have you not affronted me in a most scandalous Manner? impiously made Love to me, and audaciously ask'd me to love you again?

MARCELLUS.

I plead guilty; I have been a Coxcomb, and am justly punish'd for believing any Woman worthy of a Moment's Regard.

FLORINDA.

If then you own the Punishment is just, why do you blame me for inflicting it?

MARCELLUS.

Because I think you rather too rigorous: I must confess, that in my Opinion, to be tormented one Hour with a Woman's Impertinence, exceeds Hanging, Shooting, Racking, or all those trifling Deaths; and, in short, is Punishment too great for any Crime, a Man can possibly be guilty of.

FLORINDA.

Lord! if you make such a Work about this, what wou'd you have said to the Penance, I shou'd have laid on you in case you had neglected, instead of making Love to me? For however disagreeable a Man's Addresses are to us, they cannot possibly be so shocking, as not to be taken Notice of at all.

MARCELLUS.

If it had been one Degree worse, I'm sure I cou'd not have borne ^note it; but must have apply'd to some friendly Dagger, Stream, or Pistol for Relief.

FLORINDA.

Hum—I cou'd almost find in my Heart to put you to the Trial: I shou'd certainly be a most intolerable Plague to you, but that I begin to find myself tir'd of railing at you.

MARCELLUS.

Go to your Closet for Heaven's Sake, pray; and prepare yourself, you cannot have long to live.

FLORINDA.

Long enough yet I hope to give you a Surfeit of the World before I quit it.

MARCELLUS.

And that perhaps may not be very long; for I shall have a strange Propensity to retire from it the Moment, you begin to renew my Torments.

FLORINDA.

Faith! pr'ythee do, I have never yet been so happy, as to have any body die for me.

MARCELLUS.

You'd tell the World perhaps it was for Love.

FLORINDA.

Doubtless, and wou'd not fear being believ'd; my own Merit, and a Knowledge of your natural good Nature, ^note wou'd gain me Credit any where.

MARCELLUS.

Now you have ruin'd all again; I don't know what I might have done before, but that Thought has determin'd me not to offer so great a Sacrifice to your Vanity.

FLORINDA.

Oh! you're glad of any Excuse to come off of such a Bargain, I see, as well as the rest of your Sex: I never knew a Man hold in a dying Humour long enough to be furnish'd with the Means of making a handsome Exit.

MARCELLUS.

Come, Truce a Moment, with your Severities: I have a Proposal to make you, which is just come into my Head; will you for once be serious, and hear it?

FLORINDA.

With all my Heart; what is it?

MARCELLUS.

'Tis this; since we are both so well qualified for Satire, methinks 'tis as bad as losing our Talents, to throw them away on one another; what say you then to drawing up Articles, signing a Peace, and joining our Forces to ridicule all the rest of the World?

FLORINDA.

What, the Courtier, I suppose, for breaking his Promise, and never paying his Debts.

MARCELLUS.

Aye; and the Lawyer for being a Knave o' both Sides, and engaging two honest Gentlemen in a Quarrel, that he may ruin them both, and live upon the Spoils.

FLORINDA.

The Rake for railing at Religion, and setting up for an Atheist against his Conscience, 'till he's afraid to go into a Room without Company, or lie alone all his Lifetime.

MARCELLUS.

The Tradesman for swearing to false Weights, and scanty Measures.

FLORINDA.

And the Buyer for being so foolish, as to believe him.

MARCELLUS.

His Wife for seducing the handsome 'Prentice, and betraying him for Non-compliance.

FLORINDA.

And half the Fops in Town, for buying up old Fans, Gloves, Necklaces, Ribbons, Garters, &c. and shewing them as Tokens from their several Mistresses: For writing false Letters, boasting of Favours from Women, they have never seen, and ruining the poor Girls Reputations to raise their own.

MARCELLUS.

Pox! you shou'd have laid that to the Ladies; for they have it so much in Use amongst them, that the Men are heartily asham'd on't.

FLORINDA.

Well, no Matter for that; all this, and a great deal more, I know you wou'd say, perhaps justly too: But do not think, because I have let you alone to satisfy my Temper a little, that I have done with you; therefore prepare, for I am now going to return from my Digression.

MARCELLUS.

For Heaven's Sake, is there no Way of appeasing you? no Hopes of Peace?

FLORINDA.

Hum—Let me see—Yes, there is one Way to please me—One Thing:—But I know you'll not comply with it.

MARCELLUS.

Whate'er it is, but name it, and believe it done.

FLORINDA.

Marry me.

MARCELLUS.

Are you mad?

FLORINDA.

In what? you complain'd of a Disease, I have offer'd you a Remedy.

MARCELLUS.

Yes, such a one, as it were to throw a Man in a raging Fever, into a Furnace to cool him.

FLORINDA.

Well, consider on't; for upon these Conditions alone can I ever be reconcil'd to you.