Florinda.
MARCELLUS.
And you will still follow me?
FLORINDA.
I'm resolv'd I will; I will haunt you worse, than a
breaking Tradesman does his Debtors; be a greater
-- 103 --
Plague to you, than a Bailiff is to a Poet; and, in short,
never leave teizing you till I have tir'd myself.
MARCELLUS.
Heaven forbid! for then I shall never be at Liberty
again.
FLORINDA.
Why, pray, have you not affronted me in a most scandalous
Manner? impiously made Love to me, and audaciously
ask'd me to love you again?
MARCELLUS.
I plead guilty; I have been a Coxcomb, and am justly
punish'd for believing any Woman worthy of a Moment's
Regard.
FLORINDA.
If then you own the Punishment is just, why do you
blame me for inflicting it?
MARCELLUS.
Because I think you rather too rigorous: I must confess,
that in my Opinion, to be tormented one Hour with
a Woman's Impertinence, exceeds Hanging, Shooting,
Racking, or all those trifling Deaths; and, in short, is
Punishment too great for any Crime, a Man can possibly
be guilty of.
FLORINDA.
Lord! if you make such a Work about this, what
wou'd you have said to the Penance, I shou'd have laid on
you in case you had neglected, instead of making Love
to me? For however disagreeable a Man's Addresses are
to us, they cannot possibly be so shocking, as not to be
taken Notice of at all.
MARCELLUS.
If it had been one Degree worse, I'm sure I cou'd not
have borne note it; but must have apply'd to some friendly
Dagger, Stream, or Pistol for Relief.
-- 104 --
FLORINDA.
Hum—I cou'd almost find in my Heart to put
you to the Trial: I shou'd certainly be a most intolerable
Plague to you, but that I begin to find myself tir'd of
railing at you.
MARCELLUS.
Go to your Closet for Heaven's Sake, pray; and prepare
yourself, you cannot have long to live.
FLORINDA.
Long enough yet I hope to give you a Surfeit of the
World before I quit it.
MARCELLUS.
And that perhaps may not be very long; for I shall
have a strange Propensity to retire from it the Moment,
you begin to renew my Torments.
FLORINDA.
Faith! pr'ythee do, I have never yet been so happy,
as to have any body die for me.
MARCELLUS.
You'd tell the World perhaps it was for Love.
FLORINDA.
Doubtless, and wou'd not fear being believ'd; my
own Merit, and a Knowledge of your natural good Nature, note
wou'd gain me Credit any where.
MARCELLUS.
Now you have ruin'd all again; I don't know what I
might have done before, but that Thought has determin'd
me not to offer so great a Sacrifice to your Vanity.
FLORINDA.
Oh! you're glad of any Excuse to come off of such a
Bargain, I see, as well as the rest of your Sex: I never
knew a Man hold in a dying Humour long enough to be
furnish'd with the Means of making a handsome Exit.
-- 105 --
MARCELLUS.
Come, Truce a Moment, with your Severities: I
have a Proposal to make you, which is just come into
my Head; will you for once be serious, and hear it?
FLORINDA.
With all my Heart; what is it?
MARCELLUS.
'Tis this; since we are both so well qualified for Satire,
methinks 'tis as bad as losing our Talents, to throw
them away on one another; what say you then to drawing
up Articles, signing a Peace, and joining our Forces
to ridicule all the rest of the World?
FLORINDA.
What, the Courtier, I suppose, for breaking his Promise,
and never paying his Debts.
MARCELLUS.
Aye; and the Lawyer for being a Knave o' both Sides,
and engaging two honest Gentlemen in a Quarrel, that he
may ruin them both, and live upon the Spoils.
FLORINDA.
The Rake for railing at Religion, and setting up for
an Atheist against his Conscience, 'till he's afraid to go
into a Room without Company, or lie alone all his Lifetime.
MARCELLUS.
The Tradesman for swearing to false Weights, and
scanty Measures.
FLORINDA.
And the Buyer for being so foolish, as to believe him.
MARCELLUS.
His Wife for seducing the handsome 'Prentice, and
betraying him for Non-compliance.
-- 106 --
FLORINDA.
And half the Fops in Town, for buying up old Fans,
Gloves, Necklaces, Ribbons, Garters, &c. and shewing
them as Tokens from their several Mistresses: For
writing false Letters, boasting of Favours from Women,
they have never seen, and ruining the poor Girls Reputations
to raise their own.
MARCELLUS.
Pox! you shou'd have laid that to the Ladies; for
they have it so much in Use amongst them, that the
Men are heartily asham'd on't.
FLORINDA.
Well, no Matter for that; all this, and a great deal
more, I know you wou'd say, perhaps justly too: But do
not think, because I have let you alone to satisfy my
Temper a little, that I have done with you; therefore
prepare, for I am now going to return from my Digression.
MARCELLUS.
For Heaven's Sake, is there no Way of appeasing you?
no Hopes of Peace?
FLORINDA.
Hum—Let me see—Yes, there is one Way to
please me—One Thing:—But I know you'll not
comply with it.
MARCELLUS.
Whate'er it is, but name it, and believe it done.
FLORINDA.
Marry me.
MARCELLUS.
Are you mad?
FLORINDA.
In what? you complain'd of a Disease, I have offer'd
you a Remedy.
-- 107 --
MARCELLUS.
Yes, such a one, as it were to throw a Man in a raging
Fever, into a Furnace to cool him.
FLORINDA.
Well, consider on't; for upon these Conditions alone
can I ever be reconcil'd to you.
SCENE III.
To them Hillario.
HILLARIO.
Aye, aye; what's that? let's hear; what's that,
that's to reconcile you?
FLORINDA.
Why, I have made him a very fair Proposal Hillario;
I have offer'd to forget, and obliterate all Injuries whatever,
offer'd me to the Time present, and proceed from
henceforth on an entire new Foundation, only on Condition
that he'll—marry me.
HILLARIO.
Oh! very fair, very fair:—Take her Man, take
her; a mighty pretty Offer in my Opinion.
MARCELLUS.
Yes, to me, I must confess, who am a profess'd Enemy
to Impertinence, and by Consequence to Women.—
Besides, she has openly declar'd she hates me.
HILLARIO.
Well Sir, and what then?—I hope you wou'd not
have a Woman of Quality lie under the Scandal of loving
her Husband.
-- 108 --
MARCELLUS.
Why that's true, as you say; but after all, Marriage is
a Leap, I am almost afraid to venture at on any Conditions.
HILLARIO.
P'shaw, never fear Man, there are Cords enough in
the Kingdom—if you shou'd repent; why—'tis but a
right Application, and I warrant you, one Knot unties
t'other.
FLORINDA.
Well Sir, here's my Hand; what say you? have you
Courage enough to join yours to it, in Sign of Agreement?
MARCELLUS.
I don't know how far a Frolick may carry me;—but
no Signing Lady, before we settle the Preliminaries.
HILLARIO.
Which, as in all Probability they will not be very
concise, it will not be amiss I believe, if we retire to yon
Bank for the better Convenience of Agreement.
FLORINDA.
With all my Heart; come on Sir: Hillario, do you
bring up the Rear.
-- 109 --
SCENE IV.
Julio alone.
JULIO.
I wonder Vincentio does not come;—I'm almost afraid
his Wound is worse, than it was represented:—
or if he shou'd be e'en such a Man, as my Cousin thinks
now.—Well, I'm in a thousand Fears I protest; but
see he comes to rid me of them all.
SCENE V.
Julio, Vincentio,
JULIO.
So Sir, you're come at last; you're a mighty pretty
Gentleman truly.
VINCENTIO.
My dearest Camilla—
JULIO.
Nay, no Come-offs; better let Things stand, as they
are, than make them worse with a bad Excuse: Pray did
the Gentleman tell you how prettily I counterfeited
swooning, when he told me of your Wound?
-- 110 --
VINCENTIO.
Aye; but I have heard greater Wonders, than all that;
your Sister is going to be married to Lord Marcellus.
JULIO.
Married!
VINCENTIO.
Aye.
JULIO.
And to Marcellus? impossible!
VINCENTIO.
No Faith; I met them just now with Hillario, going
to borrow the Duke's Chaplain; for they're willing, it
seems, to secure one another while they are in the Humour.
JULIO.
Well, speed them together I say; tho' I think they
might have had the Manners to have invited us to the
Wedding.
VINCENTIO.
I think so too; tho' I must own, to be a Witness of the
Happiness of another, wou'd but increase my Torments:
Oh! Camilla!
JULIO.
Hey day! what going into your Desperadoes again?
It seems I can serve your Turn no longer then.
VINCENTIO.
Youth, I can live no longer by thinking.
JULIO.
Nor will I increase your Misfortunes by longer trifling
with you;—I know you a Gentleman, and believe
you honest; I am acquainted with your Life, and
am no Stranger to your dearest Secrets.—I am, Thanks
to my Uncle, a Piece of a Magician, and can be of more
-- 111 --
Service to you, than you imagine; therefore, if you love
Camilla, as you say you'll meet me presently at the
Duke's Cave; I am acquainted with all her Fortunes,
and know where she is at this Instant, I know she loves
you too; and if I then find that you deserve her, I dare
promise she shall be yours.
VINCENTIO.
Away, you trifle Boy.
JULIO.
By my Life I do not; but try me, and condemn me
if I fail.
VINCENTIO.
Tho' my Reason forbids me to credit such fond Tales,
yet there is something so extraordinary in this, somewhat,
that touches me so nearly, that I am determined
to see the Event. [Aside.] Youth, I'll meet thee there.
JULIO.
'Tis well, go you directly; I'll but in, and make a
few necessary Preparations for the Ceremony, and follow
you.
SCENE VI.
Julio. alone.
I am now on the very Crisis of my Fortune, and on
a single Breath depends my future Happiness, or Misery:
—What have I done?—I have engag'd myself
to Vincentio without the Knowledge of my royal Father;
-- 112 --
—may he not then disapprove of it? Oh no, he is
so good, it were a Crime to doubt his Gentleness: Besides,
Ernesto's Services, and his own Life so lately by
Vincentio sav'd, are Arguments too strong to be denied.—
Let me yet consider a little;—but I have gone too far to
think of a Retreat.
I'll boldly risque my Fate;—if such they be,
My Crimes, Almighty Love, I owe to thee;
Do thou then kindly my Endeavours bless,
Plead thou my Cause, and I'll not fear Success.
SCENE VII.
Duke, Vincentio, Antonio, and Lords.
DUKE.
You tell me Miracles indeed Vincentio: That this
Youth shou'd promise Things so strange, nay, almost
beyond the Reach of Possibility, excites my Wonder
more, than my Belief.
VINCENTIO.
As I do live, most honour'd Sir, 'tis true; I must confess
I have as little Credit in such Stories as your Highness;
but there is something so extraordinary in the
Youth, that when your Highness sees him, your Prejudice
will fall away insensibly, and you will find yourself oblig'd
to listen to him.
-- 113 --
DUKE.
I doubt 'tis some Device; he dare not meet you.
VINCENTIO.
If he lives, I do not fear his coming.
DUKE.
Well, sit you down, and once more rest assur'd I hold
that Hour the happiest of my Life that brought you to
the Forest.
VINCENTIO.
And believe me Sir, I have more Pleasure to serve
you in this most humble State, than in the Court of
haughty Ferdinand.
DUKE.
I thank you; thy Father was a noble, honest Man,
and one I lov'd, and honour'd; I rejoice to find he has
a Son so worthy.
VINCENTIO.
My Lord, the Youth is here.
SCENE VIII.
To them Julio.
JULIO.
So Sir, you are in Readiness I see:
[To Vincentio.
My Lord, I beg Pardon for this Intrusion; but
you'll have too near an Int'rest in what I am to perform,
not to excuse it.
[To the Duke.
DUKE.
O' my Word Vincentio you prophecy'd; I ne'er can be
-- 114 --
an Enemy to that Youth. [Aside to Vincentio.] But
come young Sir, you come not here to talk, proceed to
Business, and produce my Daughter.
[To Julio.
JULIO.
I will my Lord; but first must have your royal Promise
she shall, when found, have Liberty to give herself,
to whom her Heart directs.
DUKE.
I do agree.
JULIO.
'Tis enough.—You'll remember our Articles, Sir.
[Aside to Vincentio.
VINCENTIO.
I warrant you.
[Aside to her.
JULIO.
'Tis well:—You first, Sir, shou'd be satisfied, then
turn, and view in me your long lost Daughter, your
once lov'd Camilla.
[Discovers herself to the Duke.
DUKE,
'Tis she, 'tis my Camilla; rise my Child,
And bless thy Father's long despairing Arms:
Blest be the Powers, that have restor'd thee to me,
And in a Moment kindly over-paid
All my past Years of Sorrow.—Oh my Child!
How cou'dst thou 'scape thy cruel Uncle's Rage?
For well I know not ev'n thy Youth, and Innocence
Cou'd shield thee from his Fury.
CAMILLA.
Of this my Lord,
And whatsoever else your Grace wou'd know
Hereafter be my Business to inform you;
But now permit me, as my Word's engag'd,
-- 115 --
To satisfy this Gentleman; for which
I do remind you of your gracious Promise.
DUKE.
I do agree to all.
CAMILLA.
Thus then I claim it,
And from this Moment call Vincentio Lord.
DUKE.
By Heaven I'd not have wish'd a fairer Choice:
What say'st thou? Art thou willing to receive her?
[To Vincentio.
VINCENTIO.
As Heaven's greatest Blessing.
DUKE.
Then take her, and be happy.
[Giving him her Hand,
ANTONIO.
I think we are going to have another Flood; for
Couples seem to flock in hither as to the Ark; a second
Pair already, and, if I mistake not, one of them, is
call'd Marcellus.
DUKE.
Marcellus! sure 'tis impossible.
CAMILLA.
'Tis even so my Lord; the other you shall know hereafter;
but I beg you for a while suspend your Curiosity.
-- 116 --
SCENE IX.
To them Marcellus, Florinda, and Hillario.
DUKE.
Marcellus, you are welcome, I give you Joy.
VINCENTIO, CAMILLA.
Joy, Joy, my Lord.
MARCELLUS.
Pox! how foolish this makes a Man look now!—
You are mistaken Gentlemen, we only come to beg a
Favour of his Highness.
DUKE.
I'm glad you have put it in my Power to oblige you;
What is it?
MARCELLUS.
'Tis—Faith I can't speak it; may I never taste
Peace if the Words do not stick in my Throat: P'rythee
tell him Friend.
[To Hillario.
HILLARIO.
Well then, in short Sir, this Lord Marcellus, and this
Madam Florinda, having taken a very pious Resolution,
to plague one another as long as they both shall live,
humbly beg your Highness's Leave to marry, that they
may do it with the more Authority.
DUKE.
Ha! ha! ha! they have mine with all my Heart:
But here's a young Gentleman pretends to have a Sort of
-- 117 --
an Interest in the Lady: What say you Sir? Are you
willing to resign her to Lord Marcellus?
[To Camilla.
CAMILLA.
Are you willing to receive her?
[To Marcellus,
MARCELLUS.
Aye,—No,—I believe so:—Pox on't,
what am I going to do?
FLORINDA.
Hey day! I thought 'twou'd come to this, 'tis well I
secur'd the Evidence: Here Hillario, are not you Witness
to a Promise of Marriage made me by Lord Marcellus?
HILLARIO.
Aye, and am ready to swear it before any Magistrate
in the Country.
CAMILLA.
My Lord I assure you she deserves him; I beg you to
interpose your Authority.
[To the Duke.
DUKE.
Nay, then, take her, for I will have it a Match.
MARCELLUS.
Observe Gentlemen, 'tis none of my own seeking;
you hear the Duke say he will have it so, and 'tis not
my Fault, if I am oblig'd to obey him.—This is
some Excuse however.
[Aside
DUKE.
Well, well, we admit of your Excuse; we have one
Couple already, that you little think of; you shall make
a second, and we'll have you join'd immediately.
CAMILLA.
Now my Lord turn, and in that Lady know your
Niece Julia, whose Love for me has made her the Companion
of my ruin'd Fortunes.
-- 118 --
DUKE.
Pardon me fair Niece; but 'tis not now too late: I
give you Joy, and Welcome to such a Place, as I have to
entertain you in: Hereafter look on me as on your Father,
and if Love can make Amends for Grandeur, assure
yourself you shall lose nothing by the Change.
JULIA.
My Lord, I can thank you with nothing but my Duty;
much Happiness to your Highness.
[A Flourish of Trumpets.
DUKE.
How now! What mean those Trumpets?
SCENE X.
To them a Lord.
LORD.
A messenger from Liege, my noble Lord,
Breathless with Haste, craves Audience of your Highness;
His Face, methinks, wears an unusual Joy,
And speaks fair greeting.
DUKE.
Give him speedy Entrance.
Heav'n grant some happy Turn in our Affairs.
-- 119 --
Scene 11
SCENE The Last.
Duke, Camllla, Vincentio, Julia, Marcellus,
Antonio, Hillario, Lords, and Messenger.
MESSENGER kneeling.
All Happiness to my dread Lord of Liege:
Your faithful Senators, great Sir, by me
Thus humbly throw them at your Highness' Feet,
And beg you to resume your rightful Sceptre:
The Nobles greet you, and the meaner Sort,
Big with rude Joy, forget their wonted Labour,
And pass the Day in Pray'r for your Return.
DUKE.
I pr'ythee, Friend, unfold thy mystick greeting:
Thy Salutation savours of sweet Comfort;
To such unus'd we understand thee not:
If I am Liege, say what is Ferdinand?
MESSENGER.
My Lord, your Brother Ferdinand's no more;
A sad Remorse for the Injustice done
To you, and your fair Daughter; join'd with Grief
For the late Loss of Lady Julia,
His only Child, seiz'd on him all at once,
Like a rude Canker preying on his Heart,
And hurry'd him to an untimely Grave.
The Crown he left to you, and to each Nobleman
That follow'd you, restor'd his forfeit Lands:
Some few Hours since he call'd me to his Bed,
-- 120 --
Bade me I shou'd commend him to your Highness,
And to this fair Assembly; with his dying Breath
Beg'd your Forgiveness, bless'd you, and expir'd.
JULIA.
Alas my Father! Oh!
DUKE.
Poor Ferdinand!
Wou'd thou had'st liv'd, and I had still been banish'd;
To lose a Brother the first Day I found him so,
Is Grief unlook'd, and past the Strength of Nature.
Farewel, and Peace attend thy Memory;
Thy Wrongs to me lie with thee in the Grave.
Weep not my Friends, I'll mourn enough for all;
Over his Tomb will I a Convent build;
Ourselves will grace it with our royal Presence,
And in sweet Pray'r for his departed Soul,
Wear out our few remaining Hours of Life.
To you, my Children, I resign my Dukedom,
And may the Crown sit easier on your Brows,
Than e'er it did on mine.—Come you, who love me
Kneel here, and hail Vincentio Duke of Liege.
[Duke stands bare, the rest kneel.
ALL.
Long live Vincentio, and the fair Camilla,
Our Duke and Dutchess!
VINCENTIO, and CAMILLA kneeling.
We beseech your Highness.
DUKE raising them.
No more—What little Power I have left,
I use it here; make much of these few Friends,
And you shall find them such in Time of Need.
This happy Union, as 'twas here begun,
Shall in the Forest here be celebrated
-- 121 --
With all due Pomp, and Ceremony;—then,
Three Days allowing for Refreshment here,
And a fit Preparation for our Journey,
I'll lead you forward on your Way to Liege.
MARCELLUS turning to the Audience.
Well, Gentlemen and Ladies, I'm afraid I make but
an odd Sort of a Figure here among you, after what has
happen'd.—I confess, I have acted a little out of Character,
and a great deal below the Dignity of a Philosopher:—
what can be said?—When I found myself
so far gone in a Disease, which of you can blame me
for making Choice of the most effectual Remedy: For
By frequent Instances we sadly prove,
That Marriage is the surest Cure for Love.
[Exeunt omnes.
