HILLARIO.

Now can't I, for the Life of me, resist the Temptation; I long to see how Matters go between 'em, I must have one Peep.—

FLORINDA.

So! I find I must open the Scene at last. (Aside.) Good Day to you, Sir; what alone?

MARCELLUS.

So, I thought it wou'd come, but I deserve it. (Aside.) I was.

FLORINDA.

I saw it, and therefore come to keep you Company.

MARCELLUS.

I thank you; but good Faith I had as lief ha' been by myself.

FLORINDA.

Why so had I for that Matter; but for Fashion's sake, I oblige myself now and then to undergo the Fatigue of a little Conversation.

MARCELLUS.

Oh, your Servant, Madam; but for my Part, I must confess, I have not quite Complaisance enough to sacrifice my own private Satisfaction, to follow impertinent Fashions.

FLORINDA.

Nor am I quite ill-natur'd enough, to force any thing upon a Person that's disagreeable to them; therefore, Sir, you have free Liberty to retire as soon as you please, with my Promise not to follow you.

MARCELLUS.

Methinks, Madam, as I had first Possession of the Place, 'twou'd be more just for you to quit it.

FLORINDA.

Aye, but you know we Women are a strange unreasonable Sort of Creatures, and expect a little Deference to be shewn us on these Occasions; besides, I find I have taken such a Fancy to this Place, ever since you desir'd me to leave it, that I'm afraid you'll not easily perswade me to quit it.

MARCELLUS.

Nay, as I have given you fair Warning, you can't take it amiss if I shou'd continue with you, tho' my Company may be a little disagreeable.

FLORINDA.

Not in the least, Sir; but in return for your Complaisance shall acquaint you, that I am sometimes troubled with a kind of Fits that make me a little disagreable too. As for Instance, I shall run on upon Nothing by the Hour, talk of Love, War, Business, Running, Sighing, Writing, Fencing, Billet-doux, Darts, Flames, Cupids, and I don't know what myself; then whip, I skip off to your Mines and Countermines, Scarps, Counterscarps, Bastions, Bulwarks, Parapets—

HILLARIO.

So! so! so! why she has put him to his Trumps already; the poor Devil has not one Word to say for himself.

FLORINDA.

And then for your Philosophers, I can tell you all about them from Top to Bottom; your Plato's, and your Xenophons, your Socrates, and your Aristotle; your Cynicks, Stoicks, and Pythagoreans; I can count over all Ovid's Metamorphoses, reckon up all Pliny's Curiosities, know how many Feathers were in Dædalus's Wings, how many Turnings in the Cretan Labyrinth, how far Atalanta ran in a Minute.—

MARCELLUS.

Death! can I bear all this? No, 'tis impossible; (going) yet stay.

These are Fits you say.

FLORINDA.

Yes, Sir.

MARCELLUS.

And are you often troubled with them?

FLORINDA.

Seldom without them, except when I'm asleep.

MARCELLUS.

Then Charity obliges me to stay, perhaps you may want Assistance.

FLORINDA.

Hum—No, I'm generally best alone.

MARCELLUS.

You don't approve of my Company then?

FLORINDA.

No.

MARCELLUS.

Then I must inform you, I have taken a Resolution to be a continual Torment to your Sex, and am determin'd to stay, if it be only to plague you.

HILLARIO.

Aye do, Child; but I can give a shrewd Guess who'll come by the worst of it.

FLORINDA.

Nay, if you are for that Sport, come sit down, and begin as soon as you please.

MARCELLUS.

I'll sit with all my Heart, but I hate talking.

FLORINDA.

And I can't abide to hold my Tongue.

MARCELLUS.

Pry'thee try to be silent for once, and let us be good Company.

FLORINDA.

I'm afraid; it may be dangerous.

MARCELLUS.

You're a Woman?

FLORINDA.

I think so.

MARCELLUS.

And you will talk?

FLORINDA.

I must.

MARCELLUS.

Ten Crowns to one then you open with Scandal.

FLORINDA.

That I can't fail, when I have so good a Theme for it before me:

MARCELLUS.

Why you dare not rail at me?

FLORINDA.

I'll venture.

MARCELLUS.

But you shou'd first consider whether I deserve it, and for what?

FLORINDA.

Oh! that's done already, and according to the general Character I have heard of you: Besides a little Skill I have in Physiognomy.—I pronounce you to be as honest as a Lawyer, a City Tradesman, or a Deer-stealer; as generous as a Miser, or an elder Brother to a poor Family; as charitable as an old gouty Abbot; as religious as a Dutch Sailor; as sincere as a Courtier; as polite as a Hottentot; as sober as a Sea Captain, or an English Foot Soldier; as humble and good-natur'd as a Footman to his Lord's Duns, or a Player to a poor Poet; as courageous as a Bull-fighting Spaniard; as—