Scene
SCENE a cut wood.
Enter Clown and Fabian.
Fabian.
Now, as thou lov'st me, let me see this letter.
Clo.
Good Mr. Fabian, grant me another request.
Fab.
Any thing.
Clo.
Do not desire to see this letter.
Fab.
This is to give a dog, and in recompence,
desire my dog again.
Enter Duke and Viola.
Duke.
Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends?
Clo.
Ay, Sir, we are some of her trappings.
Duke.
I know thee well; how dost thou, my good fellow?
Clo.
Truly, Sir, the better for my foes, and the
worse for my friends.
Duke.
Just the contrary; the better for thy friends.
Clo.
No, Sir, the worse.
Duke.
How can that be?
Clo.
Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make an
ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly, I am an
ass: so that by my foes, Sir, I profit in the knowledge
of myself; and by my friends I am abused:
so the conclusion to be asked is, if your four negatives
make your two affirmatives; why then the
worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.* note
Duke.
Why this is excellent.
Clo.
By my troth, Sir, no; tho' it please you to
be one of my friends.
-- 340 --
Duke.
Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold.
Clo.
But that it would be double-dealing, Sir, I
would you could make it another.
Duke.
O, you give me ill counsel.
Clo.
Put your grace in your pocket, Sir, for this
once, and let your flesh and blood obey it.
Duke.
Well, I will be so much a sinner, to be a
double-dealer: there's another.
Clo.
Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play, and the
old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex,
Sir, is a good tripping measure, as the bells of St.
Bennet, Sir, may put you in mind, one, two, three.
Duke.
You can fool no more money out of me, at
this throw; if you will let your lady know I am
here to speak with her, and bring her along with
you, it may awake my bounty further.
Clo.
Marry, Sir, lullaby to your bounty, 'till I
come again. I go, Sir; but I would not have you
to think, that my desire of having, is the sin of covetousness;
but, as you say, Sir, let your bounty
take a nap, I will awake it anon.
[Exit Clown.
Scene
SCENE. Enter Antonio and Officers.
Vio.
Here comes the man, Sir, that did rescue me.
Duke.
That face of his I do remember well;
Yet when I saw it last, it was besmear'd,† note
As black as Vulcan, in the smoak of war:
A baubbling vessel was he captain of,
For shallow draught and bulk unprizable,
With which such scathful‡ note grapple did he make,
With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
That very envy and the tongue of loss,
Cry'd fame and honour on him. What's the matter?
1 Offi.
Orsino, this is that Antonio,
That took the Phœnix and her fraught from Candy;
-- 341 --
And this is he that did the Tyger board,
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg:
Here in the streets, desperate of shame and state,
In private brabble§ note did we apprehend him.
Vio.
He did me kindness, Sir; drew on my side;
But in conclusion put strange speech upon me,
I know not what 'twas, but distraction.
Duke.
Notable pirate, thou salt-water thief,
What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies,
Whom thou in terms so bloody and so dear,
Hast made thine enemies?
Ant.
Noble Sir, Orsino,
Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me:
Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate;
Though I confess, on base and ground enough,
Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither:
That most ungrateful boy there by your side,
From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth,
Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was:
His life I gave him, and did thereto add
My love, without retention or restraint,
All this in dedication. For his sake,
Did I expose myself (pure for his love)
Into the danger of this adverse town,
Drew to defend him, when he was beset;
Where being apprehended, his false cunning
(Not meaning to partake with me in danger)
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
And grew a twenty years removed thing,
While one would wink: deny'd me mine own purse,
Which I had recommended to his use,
Not half an hour before.
Vio.
How can this be?
Duke.
When came he to this town?
Ant.
To-day, my lord; and for three months before,
No interim, not a minute's vacancy,
Both day and night did we keep company.
-- 342 --
Scene
SCENE. Enter Olivia.
Duke.
Here comes the countess.
But for thee, fellow; thy words are madness:
Three months this youth hath tended upon me;
But more of that anon. Take him aside.
Oli.
What would my lord, but that he may not have
Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
Cesario, you don't keep promise with me.
Vio.
Madam!
Duke.
Gracious Olivia!
Oli.
What do you say, Cesario?
Vio.
My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.
Oli.
If it be ought to the old tune, my lord,
It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear,
As howling after musick.
Duke.
Still so cruel?
Oli.
Still, Lord, so constant.
Duke.
What, to perverseness? you uncivil lady,
To whose ingrate and inauspicious altars,
My soul the faithfull'st offerings has breath'd out,
That e'er devotion tender'd.
Why should I not, had I the heart to do't,
* noteLike to th' Egyptian thief, at point of death,
Kill what I love? yet hear this:
Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still.
But this your minion, whom I know you love,
And whom, by heav'n I swear, I tender dearly,
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
Where he sits crowned in his master's spight.
Come, boy, with me;
I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
To spight a raven's heart within a dove.
Vio.
And I most jocund, apt, and willingly,
To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die.
Oli.
Where goes Cesario?
-- 343 --
Vio.
After him I love,
More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
More by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife.
If I do feign, you witnesses above,
Punish my life, for tainting of my love!
Oli.
Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd?
Vio.
Who does beguile you, who does do you wrong?
Oli.
Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?
Call forth the holy father.
Duke.
Come away.
[To Viola.
Oli.
Whither, my lord; Cesario, husband, stay.
Duke.
Husband?
Oli.
Ay husband. Can he that deny?
Duke.
Her husband, sirrah?
Vio.
No, my lord, not I.
Oli.
Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear,
That makes thee strangle thy propriety:
Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up,
Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art,
As great as that thou fear'st.
Enter Priest.
O welcome, father.
Father, I charge thee by thy reverence,
Here to unfold what thou dost know
Hath newly past between this youth and me.
Priest.
A contract of eternal bond of love,
Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands,
Attested by the holy close of lips,
Strengthened by interchangement of your rings,
And all the ceremony of this compact,
Seal'd in my function, by my testimony:
Since when, my watch hath told me, tow'rd my grave
I have travell'd but two hours.
Duke.
O thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be,
When time hath sow'd a grizzel on thy case?
Farewel, and take her; but direct thy feet,
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
-- 344 --
Vio.
My lord, I do protest—
Oli.
O, do not swear;
Hold little faith, tho' thou hast too much fear!
Scene
SCENE. Enter Sir Andrew, with his head broke.
Sir And.
For the love of heav'n, a surgeon, and
send one presently to Sir Toby.
Oli.
What's the matter?
Sir And.
H'as broke my head a-cross, and given
Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of
heav'n, your help. I had rather than forty pounds
I were at home.
Oli.
Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
Sir And.
The duke's gentleman, one Cesario; we
took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incarnate.
Duke.
My gentleman, Cesario?
Sir And.
Od's lifelings, here he is: you broke my
head for nothing, and that that I did, I was set on
to do't by Sir Toby.
Vio.
Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you:
You drew your sword upon me without cause,
But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
Enter Sir Toby and Clown.
Sir And.
If a bloody coxcomb be hurt, you have
hurt me: I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.
Here comes Sir Toby halting, you shall hear
more; but if he had not been in drink, he would
have tickled you, other gates than he did.
Duke.
How now, gentleman? how is't with you?
Sir To.
That's all one, he has hurt me, and there's
an end on't; sot, did'st see Dick surgeon, sot?
Clo.
O he's drunk, Sir, above an hour agone; his
eyes were set, at eight i'th' morning.
Sir To.
Then he's a rogue, and a past measure
Painim. I hate a drunken rogue.
Oli.
Away with him: who hath made this havock
with them?
-- 345 --
Sir And.
I'll help you, Sir Toby, because we'll be
drest together.
Sir To.
Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb,
and a knave, a thin-fac'd knave, a gull?
[Exeunt Clo. To. and And.
Oli.
Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to.
Scene
SCENE. Enter Sebastian.
Seb.
I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your uncle;
But had it been the brother of my blood,
I must have done no less, with wit and safety:
[All stand in amaze.
You throw a strange regard on me, by which
I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows,
We made each other, but so late ago.
Duke.
One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons,
A nat'ral perspective, that is, and is not!
Seb.
Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me,
Since I have lost thee!
Ant.
Sebastian are you?
Seb.
Fear'st thou that, Antonio!
Ant.
How have you made division of yourself?
An apple cleft in two, is not more twin,
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
Oli.
Most wonderful!
Seb.
Do I stand there? I never had a brother:
Nor can there be a deity in my nature,
Of here and every where. I had a sister,
Whom the blind waves and surges have devour'd:
Of charity, what kin are you to me?
[To Viola.
What countryman? what name? what parentage?
Vio.
Of Metelin; Sebastian was my father,
Such a Sebastian was my brother too:
So went he suited to his watery tomb.
If spirits can assume both form and suit,
You come to fright us.
-- 346 --
Seb.
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
And say, thrice welcome, drowned Viola!
Vio.
If nothing lets to make us happy both,
But this my masculine usurp'd attire;
Do not embrace me, 'till each circumstance,
Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump,
That I am Viola.
[They embrace.
Seb.
So comes it, lady, you have been mistook.
[To Olivia.
Duke.
Be not amaz'd: right noble is his blood:
If this be so, as yet the glass seems true,
I shall have share in this most happy wreck.
Boy, thou hast said to me, a thousand times,
[To Viola.
Thou never should'st love woman, like to me.
Vio.
And all those sayings will I over-swear,
And all those swearings keep as true in soul,
As doth that orbed continent the fire,
That severs day from night.
Duke.
Give me thy hand,
And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds.
Vio.
The captain that did bring me first on shore,
Hath my maids garments: he, upon some action,
Is now in durance, at Malvolio's suit,
A gentleman and follower of my lady's.
Oli.
He shall enlarge him: fetch Malvolio hither,
And yet, alas, now I remember me,
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract.
Scene
SCENE. Enter the Clown, with a letter, and Fabian.
How does he, sirrah?
Clo.
Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the staves
end, as well as a man in his case may do: h'as here
writ a letter to you, I should have given it you,
to-day morning. But as a madman's epistles are no
gospels, so it skills not much when they are deliver'd.
Oli.
Open't and read it.
-- 347 --
Clo.
Look then to be well edify'd, when the fool
delivers the madman—By the lord, madam,—
[Reads.
Oli.
How now, art mad?
Clo.
No, madam, I do but read madness.
Oli.
Read it you, sirrah.
[To Fabian.
Fab. [Reads]
By the lord, madam, you wrong me,
and the world shall know it: though you have put me
into darkness, and given your drunken uncle rule over me,
yet have I benefit of my senses, as well as your ladyship.
I have your own letter, that induced me to the semblance
I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself
much right, or you much shame: think of me as you please:
I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of
my injury.
The madly us'd Malvolio.
Oli.
Did he write this?
Clo.
Ay, madam.
Oli.
See him deliver'd, Fabian, bring him hither.
My lord, so please you, these things further thought on,
To think me as well a sister as a wife,
One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please you,
Here at my house.
Duke.
Madam, I am most apt t'embrace your offer.
Your master quits you; and for your service done him,
[To Viola.
Here is my hand, you shall from this time be
Your master's mistress, and his sister she.
Scene
SCENE. Enter Malvolio.
Duke.
Is this the madman?
Oli.
Ay, my lord, this same: how now, Malvolio?
Mal.
You have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.
Oli.
Have I, Malvolio? no.
Mal.
Lady, you have; pray you peruse that letter.
You must not now deny it is your hand.
Write from it if you can, in hand or phrase,
Or say 'tis not your seal, nor your invention.
Oli.
Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
Tho', I confess, much like the character:
-- 348 --
But, out of question, 'tis Maria's hand.
And now I do bethink me, it was she
First told me thou wast mad; pr'ythee, be content;
This practice hath most shrewdly past upon thee;
But when we know the grounds and authors of it,
Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge,
Of thine own cause.
Fab.
Good madam, hear me speak,
And let no quarrel nor no brawl to come,
Taint the condition of this present hour;
Most freely I confess my self and Toby
Set this device against Malvolio. Maria writ
The letter, at Sir Toby's great importance,
In recompence whereof he hath married her.
How with a sportful malice it was follow'd,
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge.
Oli.
Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee!
Clo.
Why, some are born great, some atchieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them. I was
one, Sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, Sir; but
that's all one: by the lord, fool, I am not mad; but
do you remember, madam, why laugh you at such a
barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gogg'd: and thus
the whirlgigg of time brings in his revenges.
Mal.
I'll be reveng'd on the whole pack of you.
[Exit.
Oli.
He hath been most notoriously abus'd.
Duke.
Pursue him, and intreat him to a peace:
He hath not told us of the captain yet;
When that is known, and golden time convents,
A solemn combination shall be made,
Of our dear souls. In the mean time, sweet sister,
We will not part from hence. Cesario, come,
For so you shall be while you are a man;
But when in other habits you are seen,
Orsino's mistress, and his fancy's queen.
[Exeunt.
-- 349 --
Clown sings.
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain:
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man's estate,
With hey, ho, &c.
'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
For the rain, &c.
But when I came, alas! to wive,
With hey, ho, &c.
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain, &c.
But when I came unto my bed,
With hey, ho, &c.
With toss-pots I had drunken head,
For the rain, &c.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, &c.
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll strive to please you every day.
[Exit.* note
