Davy.
Shallow.
By cock and pye, Sir, you shall not away to-night.
What! Davy, I say.
Fal.
You must excuse me, master Robert Shallow.
Shal.
I will not excuse you: you shall not be excused.
Excuses shall not be admitted: there is no excuse shall
serve: you shall not be excus'd. Why, Davy.
Davy.
Here, Sir,
Shal.
Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy, let me see!
William Cook, bid him come hither.—Sir John, you
shall not be excus'd,
Davy.
Marry, Sir, thus: those precepts cannot be
serv'd; and, again, Sir, shall we sow the head-land with
wheat?
Shal.
With red wheat, Davy. But for William Cook;
are there no young pidgeons?
Davy.
Yea, Sir—Here is now the smith's note for
shooing, and plow-irons.
Shal.
Let it be cast, and paid—Sir John, you shall not
be excus'd.
-- 65 --
Davy.
Sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be had,
And, Sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages,
about the sack he lost, the other day, at Hinckly fair?
Shal.
He shall answer it. Some pidgeons, Davy, a
couple of short-legg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and any
pretty little tiny kickshaws: tell William Cook.
Davy.
Doth the man of war stay all night, Sir?
Shal.
Yes, Davy, I will use him well. A friend i'th'
court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men
well, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite.
Davy.
No worse than they are bitten, Sir; for they
have marvellous foul linen.
Shal.
Well conceited, Davy. About thy business,
Davy.
Davy.
I beseech you, Sir, to countenance William Visor,
of Woncot, against Clement Perkes, of the hill.
Shal.
There are many complaints, Davy, against that
Visor; that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.
Davy.
I grant your worship that he is a knave, Sir:
but yet, heav'n forbid, Sir, but a knave should have some
countenance, at his friend's request. An honest man,
Sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave is not.
I have serv'd your worship truly, Sir, these eight years;
and if I cannot, once or twice in a quarter, bear out a
knave against an honest man, I have but very little credit
with your worship. The knave is mine honest
friend, Sir; therefore I beseech your worship let him be
countenanc'd.
Shal.
Go to, I say he shall have no wrong: look
about, Davy. [Exit Davy.] Where are you, Sir John?
come, off with your boots. Give me your hand, master
Bardolph.
Bard.
I am glad to see your worship.
Shal.
I thank thee with all my heart, kind master
Bardolph; and welcome, my tall fellow. [To the Page.]
Come, Sir John.
[Exit Shallow.
Fal.
I'll follow you, good master Robert Shallow.
Bardolph, look to our horses. [Exit Bard.]—If I were
saw'd into quantities, I should make four dozen of such
-- 66 --
bearded-hermit staves as master Shallow. It is a wonderful
thing to see the semblable coherence of his mens
spirits and his: they, by observing of him, do bear
themselves like foolish justices: he, by conversing with
them, is turn'd into a justice-like servingman. Their
spirits are so married in conjunction, with the participation
of society, that they flock together in consent,
like so many wild geese. If I had a suit to master
Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation
of being near their master: If to his men, I would
curry with master Shallow, that no man could better
command his servants. It is certain that either wise
bearing, or ignorant carriage, is caught, as men take
diseases one of another: therefore let men take heed
of their company. I will devise matter enough out of
this Shallow, to keep Prince Henry in continual laughter,
the wearing out of six fashions, which is four terms, or
two actions; and he shall laugh without Intervallums.
O, it is much, that a lye with a slight oath, and a jest
with a sad brow, will do with a fellow that never had
the ache in his shoulders. O, you shall see him laugh,
till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up* note.
Shal. [Within.]
Sir John.
Fal.
I come, master Shallow; I come, master Shallow.
SCENE II.
A Street in London.
Enter Hostess Quickly, Doll Tear-sheet, and Beadles.
Host.
No, thou arrant knave, I would I might die,
that I might have thee hang'd! thou hast drawn my
shoulder out of joint.
Bead.
The constables have deliver'd her over to me,
and she shall have whipping cheer enough, I warrant
her. There hath been a man or too kill'd about her.
Doll.
Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lye: come on; I'll
tell thee what, thou tripe-visag'd rascal, if the child
-- 67 --
I go with, do miscarry, thou hadst better thou hadst
struck thy mother, thou paper-fac'd villain.
Host.
O that Sir John were come! he would make this
a bloody day to somebody.
Bead.
Come, I charge you both go with me, for the
man is dead, that you and Pistol beat among you.
Doll.
I'll tell thee what, thou thin man in a censer;
I will have you as soundly swindg'd for this, you blue-bottle
rogue: you filthy famish'd correctioner, if you be
not swindg'd, I'll forswear half kirtles.
Bead.
Come, come, you she knight-arrant, come.
Host.
O, that right should thus o'ercome might!
Well, of sufferance comes ease.
Doll.
Come, you rogue, come; bring me to a justice.
Host.
Yes, come, you starv'd blood-hound!
Doll.
Goodman death, goodman bones!
Host.
Thou atomy, thou!
Doll.
Come, you thin thing: come, you rascal!
Bead.
Very well.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
Gloucestershire. An Orchard.
Enter Falstaff, Shallow, Silence, Bardolph, the Page, and Davy.
Shal.
Nay, you shall see mine orchard, where in an
arbour we will eat a last year's pippin of my own graffing,
with a dish of carraways, and so forth: come, cousin
Silence; and then to bed.
Fal.
You have here a goodly dwelling, and a rich.
Shal.
Barren, barren, barren: beggars all, beggars all,
Sir John; marry, good air. Spread, Davy; spread,
Davy; well said, Davy.
Fal.
This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your
servingman, and your husbandman.
Shal.
A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet,
Sir John. By th' mass, I have drank too much sack, at
supper. A good varlet. Not sit down, now sit down:
come, cousin.
Sil.
Ah, sirrah, quoth-a:
-- 68 --
We shall do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
[Singing.
And praise heav'n for the merry year;
When flesh is cheap, and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there;
So merrily, and ever among, so merrily, &c.
Fal.
There's a merry heart, good master Silence. I'll
give you a health for that, anon.
Shal.
Give Mr. Bardolph some wine, Davy.
Davy.
Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon, most
sweet sir, sit. Master Page, sit: good master Page, sit:
proface. What you want in meat, we'll have in drink;
but you must bear; the heart's all.
[Exit.
Shal.
Be merry, Mr. Bardolph; and my little soldier
there, be merry.
Sil. [Singing.]
Be merry, be merry, my wife has all,
For women are shrews, both short and tall;
'Tis merry in hall, when beards wag all,
And welcome merry Shrovetide.
Be merry, be merry.
Fal.
I did not think master Silence had been a man of
this mettle.
Sil.
Who I? I have been merry, twice and once, ere
now.
Enter Davy.
Davy.
There is a dish of leather-coats for you.
Shal.
Davy.
Davy.
Your worship—I'll be with you streight.
A cup of wine, Sir?
Sil. [Singing.]
A cup of wine,
That's brisk and fine.
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.
Fal.
Well said, master Silence.
Sil.
If we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet of
the night.
Fal.
Health and long life to you, master Silence.
Sil.
Fill the cup, and let it come. I'll pledge you, wer't
a mile to the bottom.
-- 69 --
Shal.
Honest Bardolph, welcome; if thou want'st any
thing and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome,
my little tiny thief, and welcome, indeed, too: I'll drink
to master Bardolph, and to all the cavaleroes about
London.
Dav.
I hope to see London, ere I die.
Bard.
If I might see you there, Davy—
Shal.
You'll crack a quart together? ha, will you not,
master Bardolph?
Bard.
Yes, Sir, in a pottle pot.
Shal.
By God's liggens I thank thee; the knave will
stick by thee, I can assure thee that. He will not out,
he is true bred.
Bard.
And I'll stick by him, Sir.
[One knocks at the door.
Shal.
Why, there spoke a King: lack nothing, be
merry. [Exit Davy.] Look, who's at door there, ho;
who knocks?
Fal.
Why now you have done me right.
Sil. [Singing.]
Do me right, and dub me knight, Samingo.
Is't not so?
Fal.
'Tis so.
Sil.
Is't so? why then say an old man can do somewhat.
Enter Davy.
Davy.
If it please your worship, there's one Pistol,
come from the court, with news.
Fal.
From the court? let him come in.
SCENE IV.
Enter Pistol.
How now, Pistol?
Pist.
Sir John; save you, Sir.
Fal.
What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
Pist.
Not the ill wind which blows no man good,
sweet Knight: thou art now one of the greatest men
in the realm.
Sil.
Indeed I think he be, but goodman Puff of
Barson.
-- 70 --
Pist.
Puff?
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend;
And helter skelter have I rode to thee;
And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.
Fal.
I pr'ythee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
Pist.
A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa, and golden joys.
Fal.
O base Assyrian Knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
Sil.
And Robin Hood, Scarlet and John.
Pist.
Shall dunghill curs confrout the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Fury's lap.
Shal.
Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
Pist.
Why then lament therefore.
Shal.
Give me pardon, Sir. If you come with news
from the court, I take it there is but two ways, either
to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, Sir, under
the King, in some authority.
Pist.
Under which King? Bezonian, speak or die.
Shal.
Under King Harry.
Pist.
Harry the Fourth? or Fifth?
Shal.
Harry the Fourth.
Pist.
A foutra for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King,
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this, and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
Fal.
What! is the old King dead?
Pist.
As nail in door: the things I speak are just.
Fal.
Away, Bardolph, saddle my horse; master Robert
Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,
'tis thine. Pistol, I will double charge thee with dignities.
Bard.
O joyful day! I would not take a knighthood
for my fortune.
Pist.
What? I do bring good news?
-- 71 --
Fal.
Carry master Silence to bed: master Shallow, my
Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt, I am fortune's steward.
Get on thy boots, we'll ride all night. Oh, sweet Pistol!
away Bardolph: come, Pistol, utter more to me; and
withal devise something to do thyself good. Boot,
boot, master Shallow. I know the young King is sick
for me. Let us take any man's horses: the laws of England
are at my commandment. Happy are they which
have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief
Justice!
[Exeunt.
SCENE V.
An Anti-chamber in the Palace.
Enter Westmorland, meeting Lord Chief Justice.
West.
How now, my Lord Chief Justice, whither away?
Ch. Just.
How doth the King?
West.
Exceeding well: his cares are now all ended.
Ch. Just.
I hope not dead.
West.
He's walk'd the way of nature,
And to our purposes he lives no more.
Ch. Just.
I would his Majesty had call'd me with him;
The service that I truly did his life,
Hath left me open to all injuries.
West.
Indeed I think the young King loves you not.
Ch. Just.
I know he doth not, and do arm myself,
To welcome the condition of the time,
Which cannot look more hideous on me,
Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.
West.
Here come the heavy issue of dead Harry:
O, that the living Harry had the temper,
Of him, the worst of these three gentlemen!
How many nobles then should hold their places,
That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!
Enter Prince John of Lancaster, Gloucester, and Clarence.
Ch. Just.
Alas, I fear all will be overturn'd.
Lan.
Good-morrow, cousin Westmorland.
-- 72 --
Glou.
Good morrow, cousin.
O, good my Lord, you've lost a friend, indeed.
And I dare swear you borrow not that face
Of seeming sorrow: it is sure your own.
Lan.
Tho' no man be assur'd what grace to find,
You stand in coldest expectation.
I am the sorrier: would 'twere otherwise!
Cla.
Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair,
Which swims against your stream of quality.
Ch. Just.
Sweet Princes, what I did, I did in honour,
Led by th' impartial conduct of my soul;
And never shall you see that I will beg
A ragged and forestall'd remission.
If truth and upright innocency fail me,
I'll to the King my master that is dead,
And tell him who hath sent me after him.
West.
Here comes the King.
SCENE VI.
Enter Prince Henry.
Ch. Just.
Heav'n save your Majesty!
P. Henry.
This new and gorgeous garment, Majesty,
Sits not so easy on me, as you think.
Brothers, you mix your sadness with some fear:
This is the English, not the Turkish court;
Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds,
But Harry, Harry. Yet be sad, good brothers,
For, to speak truth, it very well becomes you:
Sorrow so royally in you appears,
That I will deeply put the fashion on,
And wear it in my heart. Why then be sad;
But entertain no more of it, good brothers,
Than a joint-burthen laid upon us all.
For me, by heav'n, I bid you be assur'd,
I'll be your father, and your brother too:
Let me but bear your love, I'll bear your cares:
Yet weep that Harry's dead, and so will I.
But Harry lives, that shall convert those tears
By number into hours of happiness.
-- 73 --
Lan. &c.
We hope no other from your Majesty.
P. Henry.
You all look strangely on me; and you most.
You are, I think, assur'd I love you not.
[To the Chief Justice.
Ch. Just.
I am assur'd, if I be measur'd rightly,
Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me.
P. Henry.
No! might a Prince of my great hopes, forget
So great indignities you laid upon me?
What! rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison,
Th' immediate heir of England! was this easy?
May this be wash'd in Lethe, and forgotten?
* noteCh. Just.
I then did use the person of your father
The image of his power lay then in me:
And in th' administration of his law,
While I was busy for the commonwealth,
Your Highness pleased to forget my place;
The majesty and pow'r of law and justice,
The image of the King whom I presented;
And struck me in the very seat of judgment:
Whereon, as an offender to your father,
I gave bold way to my authority,
And did commit you. If the deed were ill,
Question your royal thoughts, make the case yours;
Be now the father, and propose a son;
Hear your own dignity so much profan'd;
See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted;
Behold yourself so by a son disdain'd:
And then imagine me taking your part,
And in your pow'r soft silencing your son.
After this cold consid'rance, sentence me;
And as you are a King, speak in your state,
What I have done that misbecame my place,
My person, or my Liege's sovereignty.
-- 74 --
P. Henry.
You are right, Justice, and you weigh this well,
Therefore still bear the balance and the sword:
And I do wish your honours may increase,
Till you do live to see a son of mine
Offend you, and obey you, as I did:
You committed me;
For which I do commit into your hand,
Th' unstained sword that you have us'd to bear,
With this remembrance that you use the same,
With the like bold, just and impartial spirit,
As you have done 'gainst me. There is my hand
You shall be as a father to my youth:
My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear.
Now call we our high courts of parliament,
And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel,
That the great body of our state may go,
In equal rank with the best govern'd nation;
That war or peace, or both at once, may be
As things acquainted and familiar to us,
In which you, father, shall have foremost hand.
[To Lord Chief Justice.
Our coronation done, we will accite
(As I before remember'd) all our state,
And (heav'n consigning to my good intents)
No Prince, no peer, shall have just cause to say,
Heav'n shorten Harry's happy life one day.
[Exeunt.
SCENE VII.
A Street in London.
Enter Falstaff, Shallow, Pistol, Bardolph and Page.
Fal.
Stand here by me, master Robert Shallow, I will
make the King do you grace; I will leer upon him as
he comes by, and do but mark the countenance that he
will give me.
Pist.
Bless thy lungs, good Knight.
Fal.
Come here, Pistol, stand behind me. O, if I
had had time to have made new liveries, I would have
bestow'd the thousand pounds I borrow'd of you; but
-- 75 --
it is no matter, this poor shew doth better: this doth
infer the zeal I had to see him.
Shal.
It doth so.
Fal.
It shews my earnestness of affection.
Pist.
It doth so.
Fal.
My devotion.
Pist.
It doth, it doth, it doth.
Fal.
As it were, to ride day and night, and not to
deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience to
shift me.
Shal.
It is most certain.
Fal.
But to stand stained with travel, and sweating
with desire to see him, thinking of nothing else, putting
all affairs in oblivion, as if there were nothing else
but to see him.
Pist.
'Tis semper idem; for absque hoc nihil est. 'Tis
all in every part.
Shal.
'Tis so, indeed.
Pist.
My Knight, I will enflame thy noble liver, and
make thee rage.
Thy Doll and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
Is in base durance and contagious prison;
Haul'd thither by mechanick dirty hands.
Rouze up Revenge from ebon den, with fell Alecto's snake,
For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.
Fal.
I will deliver her.
Pistol.
There roar'd the sea; and trumpet-clangour
sounds.
SCENE VIII.
The Trumpets sound. Enter the King and his train.
Fal.
Heav'n save thy Grace, King Hal, my royal Hal!
Pist.
The heav'ns thee guard and keep, most royal
imp of fame!
Fal.
Heav'n save thee, my sweet boy!
King.
My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man.
Ch. Just.
Have you your wits? know you what 'tis you speak?
-- 76 --
Fal.
My King, my Jove, I speak to thee, my heart.
King.
* noteI know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers:
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
I have long dream'd of such a kind of man,
So surfeit-swell'd, so old, and so profane;
But being awake, I do despise my dream.
Know, the grave doth gape
For thee, thrice wider than for other men.
Reply not to me with a fool-born jest,
Presume not that I am the thing I was:
For heav'n doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn'd away my former self,
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots;
Till then I banish thee, on pain of death,
As I have done the rest of my mis-leaders,
Not to come near our person, by ten miles.
For competence of life, I will allow you,
That lack of means enforce you not to evil:
And as we hear you do reform yourselves,
We will, according to your strength and qualities,
Give you advancement. Be't your charge, my Lord,
To see perform'd the tenour of our word.
Set on.
[Trumpets sound. Exit King, &c.
SCENE IX.
Fal.
Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound.
Shal.
Ah marry, Sir John, which I beseech you to
let me have home with me.
Fal.
That can hardly be, Mr. Shallow. Do not you
grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to him:
-- 77 --
look you, he must seem thus to the world. Fear not
your advancement. I will be the man yet that shall
make you great.
Shal.
I cannot perceive how, unless you give me
your doublet, and stuff me out with straw. I beseech
you, good Sir John, let me have five hundred of my
thousand.
Fal.
Sir, I will be as good as my word. This that
you heard was but a colour.
Shal.
A colour, I fear, that you will die in, Sir John.
Fal.
Fear no colours: go with me to dinner: come,
lieutenant, Pistol; come Bardolph. I shall be sent for
soon at night.
Enter Chief Justice, and Prince John, &c.
Ch. Just.
Go carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet.
Take all his company along with him.
Fal.
My Lord, my Lord.
Ch. Just.
I cannot now speak, I will hear you soon.
Take them away.
Pist.
Si fortuna me tormento, spera me contento.
[Exeunt.
Manent Lancaster and Chief Justice.
Lan.
I like this fair proceeding of the King's.
He hath intent his wonted followers
Shall all be very well provided for;
But they are banish'd, till their conversations
Appear more wise and modest to the world.
Ch. Just.
And so they are.
Lan.
The King hath call'd his parliament, my Lord.
Ch. Just.
He hath.
Lan.
* noteI will lay odds, that ere this year expire,
We bear our civil swords and native fire,
-- 78 --
As far as France. I heard a bird so sing,
Whose musick, to my thinking, pleas'd the King.
[Exeunt.
