John Rugby.
Quick.
What, John Rugby! I pray thee go to the
casement, and see if you can see my master, master
-- 16 --
doctor Caius, coming; if he do, I'faith, and find any
body in the house, here will be an old abusing of
heav'n's patience, and the king's English.
Rug.
I'll go watch.
[Exit Rugby.
Quic.
Go, we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in
faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire: an honest,
willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house
withal, and I warrant you no tell-tale, nor no breedbate* note;
his worst fault is, that he is given to canting;
he is something peevish that way; but nobody but
has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say
your name is.
Simp.
Ay, for fault of a better.
Quic.
And, master Slender's your master?
Simp.
Ay, forsooth.
Quic.
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
glover's paring-knife?
Simp.
No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee face,
with a little yellow beard, a Cain-colour'd beard.
Quic.
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Simp.
Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his
hands, as any is between this and his head: he hath
fought with a warrener.
Quic.
How say you? Oh, I should remember him;
does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in
his gait?
Simp.
Yes, indeed, does he.
Quic.
Well, heav'n send Anne Page no worse fortune.
Tell master parson Evans I will do what I can for
your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
Enter Rugby.
Rug.
Out, alas! here comes my master.
Quic.
We shall all be undone; run in here, good
young man; go into this closet; [shuts Simple in the
closet.] He will not stay long. What, John Rugby!
John! What John, I say; go John, go inquire for
my master, I doubt he be not well, that he comes
not home; and down, down, down a, &c.
[Sings.
-- 17 --
Enter Doctor Caius* note.
Caius.
Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys; pray
you go and vetch me in my closet, un boitier verd; a box,
a green-a-box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a-box.
Quic.
Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you.
I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found
the man, he would have been horn-mad.
[Aside.
Caius.
Fe, fe, fe, fe, ma foi. Il fait fort chaud, je
me'n vaie a la Cour—la grande affaire.
Quic.
Is it this, Sir?
Caius.
Ouy, mette le au mon pocket, depech, quickly:
Ver is dat knave Rugby?
Quic.
What, John Rugby! John!
Rug.
Here, Sir.
Caius.
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby;
come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to
the court.
Rug.
'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
Caius.
By my trot I tarry too long, Od's me Qu'ay je
oublie: dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vil not
for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quic.
Ay me, he'll find the young man there, and be
mad.
Caius.
O Diable, Diable; vat is in my closet?
Villaine, Larron, Rugby! my rapier.
[Pulls Simple out of the closet.
Quic.
Good master, be content.
Caius.
Wherefore should I be content-a?
Quic.
The young man is an honest man.
Caius.
What shall de honest man do in my closet?
dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
Quic.
I beseech you be not so phlegmatic; hear the
truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parson
Hugh.
Caius.
Vell.
-- 18 --
Simp.
Ay forsooth, to desire her to—
Quic.
Peace, I pray you.
Caius.
Peace a your tongue, speak a your tale.
Simp.
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid,
to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page, for my
master, in the way of marriage.
Quic.
This is all, indeed—la; but I'll ne'er put my
finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius.
Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baillez me some
paper; tarry you a little a-while.
Quic.
I am glad he is so quiet; if he had been thoroughly
moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so
melancholy: but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your
master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is,
the French doctor, my master, I may call him my master,
look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew,
bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and
do all, myself* note.
Simp.
'Tis a great charge to come under one body's
hand.
Quic.
Are you advis'd o' that? you shall find it a great
charge; and to be up early, and down late. But notwithstanding,
to tell you in your ear; I would have no
words of it, my master himself is in love with Mistress
Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's
mind, that's neither here nor there.
Caius.
You jack a-nape; give a this letter to Sir
Hugh; by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de
parke, and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to
meddle or make—You may be gone, it is not good you
tarry here.
[Exit Simple.
Quic.
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius.
It is no matter a ver dat: do you not tell-a me
dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? by gar, I will
kill de jack preest; and I have appointed mine host of
de Jarteer to measure our weapon; by gar, I will myself
have Anne Page.
-- 19 --
Quic.
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well:
we must give folks leave to prate; what the good-jer.
Caius.
Rugby, come to the court with me; by gar, if
I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my
door; follow my heels, Rugby.
[Ex. Caius and Rugby.
Quic.
You shall have a fool's head of your own. No,
I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman in Windsor
knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more
than I do with her, I thank heav'n.
Fent. [within]
Who's within there, hoa?
Quic.
Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I
pray you.
Enter Mr. Fenton.
Fent.
How now, good woman, how dost thou?
Quic.
The better that it pleases your good worship
to ask.
Fent.
What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
Quic.
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that,
by the way, I praise heav'n for it.
Fent.
Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not
lose my suit?
Quic.
Troth, sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding,
Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book
she loves you: have not your worship a wart, above your
eye* note?
Fent.
Yes, marry have I; and what of that?
Quic.
Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is
such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever
broke bread; we had an hour's talk of that wart: I shall
never laugh but in that maid's company! but, indeed,
she is given too much to allicholly and musing; but for
you—Well—go to—
Fent.
Well, I shall see her, to-day; hold, there's money
for thee: let me have thy voice in my behalf; if
thou seest her before me, commend me—
-- 20 --
Quic.
Will I? Ay, faith, that we will: and I will tell
your worship more of the wart, the next time we have
confidence; and of other wooers.
Fent.
Well, farewel, I am in great haste now.
[Exit.
Quic.
Farewel to your worship. Truly an honest
gentleman; but Anne loves him not; I know Anne's
mind as well as another does. Out upon't, what have
I forgot?
[Exit.* note
John Bell [1774], Bell's Edition of Shakespeare's Plays, As they are now performed at the Theatres Royal in London; Regulated from the Prompt Books of each House By Permission; with Notes Critical and Illustrative; By the Authors of the Dramatic Censor (Printed for John Bell... and C. Etherington [etc.], York) [word count] [S10401].
