Scene
SCENE, Parolles discovered, in the Stocks, blindfolded.
Ber.
Release him, and bring him forward.
Int.
Damabous news—you must down on your
knees.
Par.
O dear!
Int.
Partatorturossa—he calls for the torture.
Par.
I will confess what I know, without it; if
you pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.
Int.
Bosko, chimarcho biblibindo chicurmurco,* note a
merciful general—you must answer to what I shall ask
you of note.
Par.
And truly, as I hope to live.
Int.
How many horse is the duke strong? What
say you to that?
Par.
Five or six thousand, but very weak and unserviceable;
the troops are all scatter'd, and the commanders
very poor rogues, upon my reputation and
credit, and as I hope to live.
Int.
Shall I set down your answer so?
Par.
Do, I'll take the sacrament on't, how and
which way you will: all's one to me.
Ber.
What a slave is this!
1 Lord.
I will never trust a man again for keeping
his sword clean; nor believe he can have every thing
in him by wearing his apparel neatly.
Int.
Well, that's set down.
Par.
Poor rogues, I pray you, say?
Int.
Well, that's set down.
Par.
I humbly thank you, sir; a truth's a truth;
the rogues are marvellous poor.
Int.
What strength are they a-foot.
Par.
By my troth, sir, I will tell true. The muster
file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to
fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake
the snow from off their cassocks, lest they shake themselves
to pieces.
-- 282 --
Ber.
What shall be done to him?
1 Lord.
Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand
of him my conditions, and what credit I have
with the duke.
Int.
Well, that's set down, Is one Captain Dumain
i'th' camp, a Frenchman? what is his reputation with
the duke? what his valour, honesty, and expertness
in war? or is it not possible, with well-weighing sums
of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt? What say you
to this?
Par.
I beseech you let me answer to the particular
of the interrogatories. Demand them singly.
Int.
Do you know this Captain Dumain?
Par.
I know him; he was a butcher's prentice in
Paris, from whence he was whipt, for getting the
sheriff's fool with child; a dumb innocent, that
could not say him nay.
Ber.
Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; we'll
have it out.
Int.
Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence's
camp?
Par.
Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.
1 Lord.
Nay, look not so upon me, we shall hear
of your lordship, anon.
Int.
What is his reputation with the duke?
Par.
The duke knows him for no other but a poor
officer of mine, and writ to me the other day to turn
him out o'th' band. I think I have his letter in my
pocket.
Int.
Marry, we'll search.
[Examining his pockets.
Par.
In good sadness, I do not know; either it is
there, or it is upon the file with the duke's other
letters, in my tent.
Int.
Here 'tis, here's a paper, shall I read it to you?
Par.
I do not know if it be it or no.
Ber.
Our interpreter does it well.
1 Lord.
Excellently.
Int.
Dian, the count's a fool, and full of gold.
Par.
That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an
advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana,
-- 283 --
to take heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon,
a foolish, idle boy; but, for all that, very ruttish;‡ note
I pray you, sir, put it up again.
Int.
Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.
Par.
My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest,
in behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count
to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale
to virginity, and devours up all the fry it finds.
Ber.
Damnable! both sides rogue.
1 Lord.
Ha, ha, ha!
Interpreter reads the Letter.
When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it.
After he scores, he never pays the score:
Half won, is match well made; match, and well make it:
He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before.
And say, a soldier (Dian) told thee this:
Men are to mell with, boys are but to kiss.
For, count of this, the Count's a fool, I know it;
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,
Parolles.&verbar2; note
Ber.
He shall be whipt through the army.
1 Lord.
This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold
linguist, and the armi-potent soldier.
Int.
I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall
be fain to hang you.
Par.
My life, sir, in any case; not that I am afraid
to die; but that my offences being many, I would
repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live, sir,
in a dungeon, i'th' stocks, any where, so I may live.
-- 284 --
Int.
We'll see what may be done, so you confess
freely; therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain:
you have answer'd to his reputation with the duke,
and to his valour. What is his honesty?
Par.
He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister;
for rapes and ravishments, he parallels Nessus. He
professes no keeping of oaths; in breaking them he is
stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such volubility,
that you would think truth were a fool;
drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk,
and in his sleep he does little harm, save to
his bed-cloaths about him; they know his conditions,
and lay him in straw. I have but little more
to say, sir, of his honesty; he has every thing that an
honest man should not have; what an honest man
should have, he has nothing.* note
Int.
His qualities being at this poor price, I need
not to ask you, if gold will corrupt him to revolt.
Par.
Sir, for a fifteen-pence he will sell the fee-simple
of his salvation.
Int.
What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?
2 Lord.
Don't ask him of me.
Ber.
By your leave but he shall.
Par.
He is a crow o' th' same nest; not altogether so
great as the first, in goodness, but greater a great deal,
in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet his
brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a retreat
-- 285 --
he out-runs any lacquey; marry, in coming on he has
the cramp.
Int.
If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray
the Florentine?
Par.
Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.
Int.
I'll whisper with the general, and know his
pleasure.
Par.
I'll no more drumming, a plague of all drums!
who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken?
[Aside.
Int.
There is no remedy, sir, but your must die; the
the general says, you, that have so traiterously discovered
the secrets of your army, and made such pestiferous reports
of men very nobly held, can serve the world for
no honest use; therefore you must die. Come, headsman,
off with his head.
Par.
O lord, sit, let me live, or let me see my death.
Int.
That shall you, and take your leave of all your
friends.
[Unbinding him.
So, look about you; know you any here?
Ber.
Good morrow, noble captain.
2 Lord.
God bless you, Captain Parolles.
1 Lord.
God save you, noble captain.
2 Lord.
Captain, what greeting will you to my
Lord Lafeu? I am for France.
1 Lord.
Good captain, will you give me a copy of
that same sonnet you writ to Diana, in behalf of the
Count Rousillon? If I were not a very coward, I'd compel
it of you; but fare you well.
[Exeunt.
Int.
You are undone, captain, all but your scarf;
that has a knot on't, yet.
Par.
Who cannot be crush'd with a plot?
Int.
If you could find out a country where but women
were that had receiv'd so much shame, you might
begin an impudent nation. Fare you well, sir, I am
for France too, we shall speak of you there?
[Exit.
Par.
Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great,
'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;
But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft,
-- 286 --
As captain shall. Simply the thing I am
Shall make me live: who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this; for it will come to pass,
That every braggart shall be found an ass.* note
[Exit.
John Bell [1774], Bell's Edition of Shakespeare's Plays, As they are now performed at the Theatres Royal in London; Regulated from the Prompt Books of each House By Permission; with Notes Critical and Illustrative; By the Authors of the Dramatic Censor (Printed for John Bell... and C. Etherington [etc.], York) [word count] [S10401].
