Bell.
Lord Byron, what you say cannot be true;
I'd sooner think that Nature's Self could err,
Than She so cold, so chaste, and so reserv'd.

Byron.

You may think it all Chimera, if you please, Sir. You may think too, that 'tis not out of regard for you that I inform you of it: Let that appear hereafter, and esteem me such as I shall prove. As for my Brother I know he values you highly, and has forwarded this Match out of pure Affection to you: Alas! he knows not what a false Serpent he so long has nurs'd to sting his very Heart.

Lucen.

Is it possible Lucilia should be the base Wretch you represent her, Lord Byron? If so, I have not liv'd long enough to know any thing at all of Womankind yet.

Byron.

There's no Term bad enough to paint out her Treachery; wonder not till farther Proof; 'tis now the very Hour of their meeting, the Time that I with these astonish'd Ears heard appointed for it. Come but with me to a proper Place, and you shall see her Chamber-Window enter'd even the Night before her Wedding-Day: See but this, and then afterwards marry her, if you choose it.

Bell.

Can this be so? I will not think it.

Byron.

Nay, if you dare not trust what you see, go back again and confess not what you have heard. If you'll follow me, I'll shew you enough; and when you have seen more, and heard more, proceed accordingly.

Bell.
If I should see—but sure I can't, Lucentius;
If I should see, what I am told, to-night,
To-morrow at the Fane, where I should wed her,
I'll publickly proclaim the monstrous Action.

Lucen.

And as I endeavour'd to obtain her for you, my Lord, I'll join with you to disgrace her.

Byron.

I will blast her no farther till you are my Witnesses: They would call that Malice, Spite and Craft in me, what in you can be nothing but strong Conviction and just Resentment. —Come on, or else you'll let the Hour be past.

Bell.
I would it were.—Byron, I cannot go,
Something has rivetted me sure to Earth;
And if my Legs may falter, and be chang'd
From their own natural Use, why mayn't my Eyes too?

Byron.

'Tis true, my Lord, I therefore would advise you not to go: You'll not believe even what you can't help seeing, and that will only aggravate your Torment.—I wish I had conceal'd this cruel Mischief, then you might have been at rest, and ne'er have known it.

Bell.
No, Byron, I am not so mean a Wretch
To clothe myself in false Security,
And bear my Shame with Smiles.—Alas, Lucentius,
How greatly doth this Spring of Love resemble
Th' uncertain Glory of an April-Day,
Which now with unpall'd Rays revives the Heart,
And the next Moment pours a Tempest on us!

Byron.

The Time now serves not for Delay; come on, if you will go—if not—

Bell.
I dare not go.

Byron.
Why then, farewel. [Going.

Bell.
Byron, come back; I'll go
To prove her true, and your Aspersions false.

Byron.
Come, come; leave that till you have seen the Sequel. [Exeunt. Enter PORCO, ASINO, and several Watch.

Asino.

Gentlemen, answer to your Names: Are you all good Men, and true?

Porco.

I hope so, seeing they are chosen for the Duke's Watch.

Asino.

Well, give them their Charge, Neighbour, now the Night is almost over.

Porco.

I will do it, Neighbour Asino, for I love giving Charges; and harkye, Gentlemen, you must all desire me to print it when I have done, for my Labours are all intended for the Good of my Country. But first, who think you the most disartless Man, Neighbour, to carry the Lanthorn now we are going home?

Asino.

Why Foundling Hugh; for he, you know, can write and read.

Porco.

Come hither, Hugh.—To be a well-favour'd Man is the Gift of Fortune, but to write and read comes by Nature. —You must comprehend all Vagrants whatsoever, except it be the Duke's Players, mark me that; for their Business is one of your Octurnal Professions, and therefore touch not them, unless you happen to see 'em stroling by Day-light.— You are likewise to bid any Man stand in the Duke's Name.

Asino.

But suppose he will not stand, Neighbour Porco.

Porco.

Why then let him go, and thank Heaven that you are rid of a Knave.—You must also make no Noise in the Streets, for 'tis not right that the Watch should babble and talk.

1 Watch.

Noa, noa, Master Constable, we'll make no Noise, we'll only take a quiet Nap; we'd rather sleep than talk; we know what belongs to a Watch.

Porco.

Ay, ay, you speak like a most ancient and quiet Watchman; for I cannot see how Sleeping can offend any one.

1 Watch.

Why i'facks, Master Constable, I have had a kind of a drowsy Lethary, as they call it, hanging upon me for these

many Years, and being disabled thereby to get my Livelihood, the Parish made me a Watchman, an please you.

Porco.

Good, good; a very proper Post for a Man that can never keep himself awake. Well, well, sleep on your Bellyfull, honest Fellow.—But let me see, when did these two new Faces come into the Fratarnatary?

1 Watch.

This is the first Night they have been upon Duty, an please you.

Porco.

And what was you made Watchman for?

2 Watch.

Because I had got a Reumasie, an please you, and had lost the Use of both my Arms.

Porco.

A good Reason.—And you, Friend?

3 Watch.

Because I ha' the Gout, an please you, and I can scarce stond o' my Legs.

Porco.

Very well, very well; so you make just one Man between you; that's enough, that's enough.—In the next Place you are to call at all the Publick-houses, and bid them that are drunk get 'em to Bed.

Asino.

How if they will not, Neighbour?

Porco.

Why let 'em stay till they are sober; and if they make no other Answer then, you may say they are not the Men you took 'em for.

1 Watch.

Ay, ay.

Porco.

If you meet a Street-robber, House-breaker, or Pick-pocket, you may suspect him by virtue of your Office to be no honest Man; and for such kind of Men the less you meddle or make with 'em the better.

Asino.

What, Neighbour Porco, if they know him to be a Thief shan't they lay hold of him?

Porco.

Why by the Statue made and prolong'd in that Case, they may; but the most peaceable way, if you do take a Thief, is to let him shew himself what he is, and steal out of your Company.

Asino.

Why you have been always reckon'd a merciful Man, Neighbour, that I'll say for you.

Porco.

Why truly, I would not hang a Dog by my Will; I hate the very Thoughts of Hanging, for I was once, Neighbour, night being hang'd myself.

Asino.

And how came you off, Neighbour?

Porco.

By having an Office at Court—for Courtiers, you know, are never hang'd; they always save one another, Neighbour.—But one Word more, Neighbours; watch diligently about the Palace here, for the Wedding being this Morning there's a great deal to do. But who are these that are coming here?

Asino.

Why they are two of our People that have been upon the Scout, and I see they have fasten'd their Fists upon somebody.

Porco.

Well, Gentlemen, who have you got there? Bring him before us.

Watch.

We have recover'd, an please you, Mr. Constable, one of the horriblest Pieces of Traytorism that ever was hatch'd.

Porco.

Oho! come, come, let me examine into it—I'll soon get to the bottom of it; for I'm as good at Examination, Neighbour, as at giving of Charges, as you shall see: Do you write down the Examination on your Hat.—In the first Place, What is your Name, Sirrah?

Grem.

I am a Gentleman, Sir, and my Name is Gremio.

Porco.

Write down, Mr. Gentleman Gremio.—Watch, come forth; I charge you, in the Duke's Name, accuse this Man.

Watch.

An please you, Master Constable, we overheard this Man talking with Lord Byron, who is a very great Villain, an please you.

Porco.

Write down, Lord Byron a Villain.—What did they talk of?

Watch.

Why of a Contrivance they had been practising to ruin our good Duke's Daughter, and to accuse her wrongfully, which this Prisoner had been the Author of, and for which he was to have a power of Mony, an please you.

Porco.

Flat Perjury! horrible Blurglary as ever was committed!

Grem. [Aside.]

I have brought myself into a fine Condition here.—Harkye, old Fellow, let's hear no more of your Folly and Impertinence; take this and say nothing; I'll—

Porco.

Why you insolent Varlet, would you corrupt the Constable of the Watch? This is Scandalum Magnation.—

Pray stand a little further off, I don't like thy Looks: It is prov'd that you and your Master are both of you false Knaves. How answer you for your self? As for your Master, he's above our Recognisant.

Grem.

Why I say, I'm none, Sir.

Porco.

A marvellous witty Fellow, I do assure you.—Have you writ down that he's no Knave?

Grem.

Fellow, thou art an Ass.

Porco.

Write that down; write me down an Ass immediately. Thou shalt suffer for this, Fellow.—Abuse a Man that is an Officer in the Watch; and which is more, an Housholder; and which is more, a Man that knows the Statues!— Remember, Neighbour Asino, that I am an Ass.—Go to, Fellow, thou art a superlatate Villain, as shall be prov'd upon thee by good Witness.—You han't forgot to write me down an Ass?—Come, let us away with him to the Watchhouse, bind him Neck and Heels, and then carry his Examination to the Duke.—I am heartily glad that I am writ down an Ass.