Robin.
Fal.
Mine host of the Garter,—
Host.
What says my bully-rook7 note
? Speak scholarly,
and wisely.
Fal.
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some
of my followers.
Host.
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them
wag; trot, trot.
Fal.
I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host.
Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar8 note, and
Pheezar9 note. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall
draw, he shall tap: said I well1 note
, bully Hector?
-- 35 --
Fal.
Do so, good mine host.
Host.
I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see
thee froth, and lime2 note: I am at a word; follow.
[Exit Host.
Fal.
Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good
trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered
servingman, a fresh tapster3 note: Go, adieu.
Bard.
It is a life that I have desired; I will
thrive.
[Exit Bard.
Pist.
O base Gongarian wight4 note
! wilt thou the
spigot wield?
-- 36 --
Nym.
He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour
conceited? His mind is not heroick, and
there's the humour of it5 note
.
Fal.
I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox;
his thefts were too open: his filching was like
an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym.
The good humour is, to steal at a minute's
rest6 note
.
-- 37 --
Pist.
Convey, the wise it call7 note
: Steal! foh; a
fico for the phrase8 note
!
Fal.
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Pist.
Why then, let kibes ensue.
Fal.
There is no remedy; I must coney-catch;
I must shift.
Pist.
Young ravens must have food9 note.
-- 38 --
Fal.
Which of you know Ford of this town?
Pist.
I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
Fal.
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am
about.
Pist.
Two yards, and more.
Fal.
No quips now, Pistol; Indeed I am in the
waist two yards about: but I am now about no
waste1 note
;
I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to
make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in
her; she discourses, she carves2 note
, she gives the leer
of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar
style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour,
to be English'd rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's.
Pist.
He hath studied her well, and translated
her well3 note
; out of honesty into English.
-- 39 --
Nym.
The anchor is deep4 note
: Will that humour
pass?
Fal.
Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of
her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels5 note.
Pist.
As many devils entertain6 note
; and, To her,
boy, say I.
-- 40 --
Nym.
The humour rises; it is good: humour me
the angels.
Fal.
I have writ me here a letter to her: and
here another to Page's wife; who even now gave
me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most
judicious eyliads7 note
: sometimes the beam of her view
gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly8 note
.
Pist.
Then did the sun on dung-hill shine9 note
.
Nym.
I thank thee for that humour1 note.
Fal.
O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with
such a greedy intention2 note
, that the appetite of her
-- 41 --
eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass!
Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse
too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty3 note.
I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be
exchequers to me4 note
: they shall be my East and West
Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear
thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to
mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist.
Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!
Nym.
I will run no base humour: here, take the
humour-letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation.
Fal.
Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these letters tightly5 note
;
-- 42 --
Sail like my pinnace6 note
to these golden shores.—
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go;
Trudge, plod, away, o'the hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of this age7 note,
French thrift, you rogues: myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt Falstaff and Robin.
Pist.
Let vultures gripe thy guts8 note
! for gourd,
and fullam holds,
And high and low beguile the rich and poor9 note
:
-- 43 --
Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!
Nym.
I have operations in my head1 note, which be
humours of revenge.
Pist.
Wilt thou revenge?
Nym.
By welkin, and her star!
Pist.
With wit, or steel?
Nym.
With both the humours, I:
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page2 note
.
-- 44 --
Pist.
And I to Ford shall eke unfold,
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.
Nym.
My humour shall not cool: I will incense
Page3 note
to deal with poison; I will possess him with
yellowness4 note
, for the revolt of mien5 note
is dangerous:
that is my true humour.
-- 45 --
Pist.
Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second
thee; troop on.
[Exeunt.
James Boswell [1821], The plays and poems of William Shakspeare, with the corrections and illustrations of various commentators: comprehending A Life of the Poet, and an enlarged history of the stage, by the late Edmond Malone. With a new glossarial index (J. Deighton and Sons, Cambridge) [word count] [S10201].
