Audrey.
Touch.
We shall find a time, Audrey; patience,
gentle Audrey.
Aud.
'Faith, the priest was good enough, for all
the old gentleman's saying.
Touch.
A most wicked sir Oliver, Audrey, a most
vile Mar-text. But, Audrey, there is a youth here
in the forest lays claim to you.
Aud.
Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest
in me in the world: here comes the man you mean.
Enter William.
Touch.
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown:
By my troth, we that have good wits, have much
to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot
hold.
Will.
Good even, Audrey.
Aud.
God ye good even, William.
Will.
And good even to you, sir.
Touch.
Good even, gentle friend: Cover thy
head, cover thy head; nay, pr'ythee, be covered.
How old are you, friend?
Will.
Five and twenty, sir.
Touch.
A ripe age: Is thy name William?
Will.
William, sir.
Touch.
A fair name: Wast born i'the forest
here?
Will.
Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touch.
Thank God;—a good answer: Art rich?
Will.
'Faith, sir, so, so.
Touch.
So, so, is good, very good, very excellent
-- 487 --
good:—and yet it is not: it is but so so. Art thou
wise?
Will.
Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touch.
Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember
a saying; The fool doth think he is wise,
but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. The
heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a
grape, would open his lips when he put it into his
mouth5 note
; meaning thereby, that grapes were made
to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid6 note?
Will.
I do, sir.
Touch.
Give me your hand: Art thou learned?
Will.
No, sir.
Touch.
Then learn this of me; To have, is to
have: For it is a figure in rhetorick, that drink,
being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling
the one doth empty the other: For all your writers
do consent, that ipse is he; now you are not ipse,
for I am he.
Will.
Which he, sir?
Touch.
He, sir, that must marry this woman:
Therefore, you clown, abandon,—which is in the
vulgar, leave,—the society,—which in the boorish
-- 488 --
is, company,—of this female,—which in the common
is,—woman, which together is, abandon the
society of this female; or, clown thou perishest; or,
to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill
thee7 note, make thee away, translate thy life into death,
thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with
thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with
thee in faction; I will o'er-run thee with policy; I
will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways; therefore
tremble, and depart.
Aud.
Do, good William.
Will.
God rest you merry, sir.
[Exit.
Enter Corin.
Cor.
Our master and mistress seek you; come,
away, away.
Touch.
Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey;—I attend,
I attend.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II.
The Same.
Enter Orlando and Oliver.
Orl.
Is't possible8 note
, that on so little acquaintance
you should like her? that, but seeing, you should
-- 489 --
love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she
should grant? and will you perséver to enjoy her?
Oli.
Neither call the giddiness of it in question,
the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my
sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting9 note; but
say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she
loves me; consent with both, that we may enjoy
each other: it shall be to your good; for my father's
house, and all the revenue that was old sir
Rowland's, will I estate upon you, and here live and
die a shepherd.
Enter Rosalind.
Orl.
You have my consent. Let your wedding
be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke, and
all his contented followers: Go you, and prepare
Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind.
Ros.
God save you, brother.
Oli.
And you, fair sister1 note
.
-- 490 --
Ros.
O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to
see thee wear thy heart in a scarf.
Orl.
It is my arm.
Ros.
I thought, thy heart had been wounded with
the claws of a lion.
Orl.
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
Ros.
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited
to swoon, when he showed me your handkerchief?
Orl.
Ay, and greater wonders than that.
Ros.
O, I know where you are:—Nay, 'tis true:
there was never any thing so sudden, but the fight
of two rams2 note, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of—I
came, saw, and overcame: For your brother and my
sister no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner
looked, but they loved; no sooner loved, but they
sighed; no sooner sighed, but they asked one another
the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but
they sought the remedy: and in these degrees
have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which
they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent
before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love,
and they will together; clubs cannot part them3 note
.
-- 491 --
Orl.
They shall be married to morrow; and I
will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter
a thing it is to look into happiness through another
man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow
be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how
much I shall think my brother happy, in having
what he wishes for.
Ros.
Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your
turn for Rosalind?
Orl.
I can live no longer by thinking.
Ros.
I will weary you no longer then with idle
talking. Know of me then, (for now I speak to
some purpose,) that I know you are a gentleman of
good conceit: I speak not this, that you should
bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch,
I say, I know you are; neither do I labour for a
greater esteem than may in some little measure
draw a belief from you, to do yourself good, and
not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that
I can do strange things: I have, since I was three
years old, conversed with a magician, most profound
in this art, and yet not damnable. If you do
love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture
cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall
you marry her: I know into what straits of fortune
she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it
appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before
your eyes to-morrow, human as she is4 note, and without
any danger.
Orl.
Speakest thou in sober meanings?
Ros.
By my life, I do; which I tender dearly,
-- 492 --
though I say I am a magician5 note
: Therefore, put you
in your best array, bid your friends6 note
; for if you will
be married to-morrow, you shall; and to Rosalind,
if you will.
Enter Silvius and Phebe.
Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of
hers.
Phe.
Youth, you have done me much ungentleness,
To show the letter that I writ to you.
Ros.
I care not, if I have: it is my study,
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you:
You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd;
Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
Phe.
Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
Sil.
It is to be all made of sighs and tears;—
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And I for Ganymede.
Orl.
And I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And I for no woman.
-- 493 --
Sil.
It is to be all made of faith and service;—
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And I for Ganymede.
Orl.
And I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes;
All adoration, duty and observance,
All humbleness, all patience, and impatience,
All purity, all trial, all observance7 note
;—
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And so am I for Ganymede.
Orl.
And so am I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And so am I for no woman.
Phe.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
[To Rosalind.
Sil.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
[To Phebe.
Orl.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Ros.
Who do you speak to8 note, why blame you me
to love you?
Orl.
To her, that is not here, nor doth not hear.
Ros.
Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the
howling of Irish wolves against the moon9 note.—I will
help you, [To Silvius] if I can:—I would love
you, [To Phebe] if I could.—To-morrow meet
-- 494 --
me all together.—I will marry you, [To Phebe]
if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow:
—I will satisfy you, [To Orlando] if ever I
satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow:
—I will content you, [To Silvius] if what pleases
you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow.
—As you [To Orlando] love Rosalind,
meet;—as you [To Silvius] love Phebe, meet;
And as I love no woman, I'll meet.—So, fare you
well; I have left you commands.
Sil.
I'll not fail, if I live.
Phe.
Nor I.
Orl.
Nor I.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
The Same.
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touch.
To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey;
to-morrow will we be married.
Aud.
I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope
it is no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of
the world1 note
. Here come two of the banished duke's
pages.
Enter two Pages.
1 Page.
Well met, honest gentleman.
Touch.
By my troth, well met: Come, sit, sit,
and a song.
2 Page.
We are for you: sit i'the middle.
1 Page.
Shall we clap into't roundly, without
-- 495 --
hawking, or spitting, or saying we are hoarse; which
are the only prologues to a bad voice?
2 Page.
I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like
two gypsies on a horse.
SONG2 note
.
I.
I
It was a lover, and his lass,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o'er the green corn-field did pass
In the spring time, the only pretty rank time3 note
,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding;
Sweet lovers love the spring.
II.
II
Between the acres of the rye,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
These pretty country folks would lie,
In spring time, &c.
-- 496 --
III.
III
This carol they began that hour,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
How that a life was but a flower
In spring time, &c.
IV.
IV
And therefore take the present time,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
For love is crowned with the prime
In spring time, &c.
Touch.
Truly, young gentlemen, though there
was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was
very untuneable4 note
.
1 Page.
You are deceived, sir; we kept time,
we lost not our time.
Touch.
By my troth, yes; I count it but time
lost to hear such a foolish song. God be with you;
and God mend your voices! Come, Audrey.
[Exeunt.
-- 497 --
SCENE IV.
Another Part of the Forest.
Enter Duke senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, and Celia.
Duke S.
Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl.
I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not;
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear5 note
.
-- 498 --
Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.
Ros.
Patience once more, whiles our compáct is urg'd:—
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
[To the Duke.
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
Duke S.
That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
Ros.
And you say, you will have her, when I bring her?
[To Orlando.
Orl.
That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
Ros.
You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing?
[To Phebe.
Phe.
That will I, should I die the hour after.
Ros.
But, if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
Phe.
So is the bargain.
Ros.
You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will?
[To Silvius.
Sil.
Though to have her and death were both one thing.
Ros.
I have promis'd to make all this matter even.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter;—
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:—
Keep your word, Phebe6 note, that you'll marry me;
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd:—
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,
If she refuse me:—and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even7 note
.
[Exeunt Rosalind and Celia.
Duke S.
I do remember in this shepherd-boy
-- 499 --
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
Orl.
My lord, the first time that I ever saw him,
Methought he was a brother to your daughter:
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born;
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Jaq.
There is, sure, another flood toward, and
these couples are coming to the ark! Here comes
a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues
are called fools8 note
.
Touch.
Salutation and greeting to you all!
Jaq.
Good my lord, bid him welcome; This is
the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often
met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he
swears.
Touch.
If any man doubt that, let him put me
to my purgation. I have trod a measure9 note
; I have
-- 500 --
flattered a lady; I have been politick with my
friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone
three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to
have fought one.
Jaq.
And how was that ta'en up?
Touch.
'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel
was upon the seventh cause1 note
.
Jaq.
How seventh cause?—Good my lord, like
this fellow.
Duke S.
I like him very well.
Touch.
God'ild you, sir2 note
; I desire you of the
like3 note
. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the
country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according
-- 501 --
as marriage binds, and blood breaks4 note
:—A
poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine
own; a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that
no man else will: Rich honesty dwells like a miser,
sir, in a poor-house; as your pearl, in your foul
oyster.
Duke S.
By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
Touch.
According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such
dulcet diseases5 note
.
Jaq.
But, for the seventh cause; how did you
find the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Touch.
Upon a lie seven times removed6 note
;—
-- 502 --
Bear your body more seeming7 note
, Audrey:—as thus,
sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's
beard8 note
; he sent me word, if I said his beard was
-- 503 --
not cut well, he was in the mind it was: This is
called the Retort courteous. If I sent him word
again, it was not well cut, he would send me word,
he cut it to please himself: This is called the Quip
modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled
my judgment: This is call'd the Reply churlish.
If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I
spake not true: This is call'd the Reproof valiant.
If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie:
This is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so
to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct.
Jaq.
And how oft did you say, his beard was not
well cut?
Touch.
I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial,
nor he durst not give me the Lie direct;
and so we measured swords, and parted.
Jaq.
Can you nominate in order now the degrees
of the lie?
Touch.
O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book9 note
;
-- 504 --
as you have books for good manners1 note
: I will name
you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous;
-- 505 --
the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply
churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth,
the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie,
with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct.
All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and
you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when
seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but
when the parties were met themselves, one of them
thought but of an If, as, If you said so, then I
said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers.
Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in
If.
Jaq.
Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as
good at any thing, and yet a fool.
Duke S.
He uses his folly like a stalking-horse2 note,
and under the presentation of that, he shoots his
wit.
Enter Hymen3 note
, leading Rosalind in woman's
cloaths; and Celia.
Still Musick.
Hym.
Then is there mirth in heaven,
When earthly things made even
Atone together.
-- 506 --
Good duke, receive thy daughter,
Hymen from heaven brought her,
Yea, brought her hither;
That thou might'st join her hand with his,
Whose heart within her bosom is4 note
.
-- 507 --
Ros.
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
[To Duke S.
To you I give myself, for I am yours.
[ToOrlando.
Duke S.
If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl.
If there be truth in sight5 note
, you are my Rosalind.
Phe.
If sight and shape be true,
Why then,—my love adieu!
Ros.
I'll have no father, if you be not he:—
[To Duke S.
I'll have no husband, if you be not he:—
[To Orlando.
Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be be not she.
[To Phebe.
Hym.
Peace, ho! I bar confusion:
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events:
Here's eight that must take hands,
To join in Hymen's bands,
If truth holds true contents6 note.
You and you no cross shall part:
[To Orlando and Rosalind.
You and you are heart in heart:
[To Oliver and Celia.
You [To Phebe] to his love must accord,
Or have a woman to your lord:—
-- 508 --
You and you are sure together,
[To Touchstone and Audrey.
As the winter to foul weather.
Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning7 note;
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish.
SONG.
Wedding is great Juno's crown8 note
;
O blessed bond of board and bed!
'Tis Hymen peoples every town;
High wedlock then be honoured:
Honour, high honour and renown,
To Hymen, god of every town!
Duke S.
O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me;
Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
Phe.
I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine9 note
.
[To Silvius.
-- 509 --
Enter Jaques de Bois.
Jaq. de B.
Let me have audience for a word, or two;
I am the second son of old sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly:—
Duke Frederick1 note, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Address'd a mighty power; which were on foot,
In his own conduct purposely to take
His brother here, and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprize, and from the world:
His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,
And all their lands restor'd to them again
That were with him exíl'd: This to be true,
I do engage my life.
Duke S.
Welcome, young man;
Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding:
To one, his lands with-held; and to the other,
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest, let us do those ends
That here were well begun, and well begot:
And after, every of this happy number,
That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us,
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,
And fall into our rustick revelry:—
-- 510 --
Play, musick;—and you brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heap'd in joy, toth' measures fall.
Jaq.
Sir, by your patience; If I heard you rightly,
The duke hath put on a religious life,
And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
Jaq. de B.
He hath.
Jaq.
To him will I: out of these convertites
There is much matter to be heard and learn'd.—
You to your former honour I bequeath;
[To Duke S.
Your patience, and your virtue, well deserves it:—
You [To Orlando] to a love, that your true faith doth merit:—
You [To Oliver] to your land, and love, and great allies:—
You [To Silvius] to a long and well deserved bed;—
And you [To Touchstone] to wrangling; for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victual'd:—So to your pleasures;
I am for other than for dancing measures.
Duke S.
Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaq.
To see no pastime, I:—what you would have
I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave2 note
.
[Exit.
-- 511 --
Duke S.
Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,
And we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
[A dance.
EPILOGUE.
Ros.
It is not the fashion to see the lady the
epilogue: but it is no more unhandsome, than to
see the lord the prologue. If it be true, that good
wine needs no bush3 note
, 'tis true that a good play
needs no epilogue: Yet to good wine they do use
good bushes; and good plays prove the better by
the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in
then4 note
, that am neither a good epilogue, nor cannot
-- 512 --
insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play?
I am not furnished like a beggar5 note, therefore to beg
will not become me: my way is, to conjure you;
and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, O
women, for the love you bear to men, to like as
much of this play as please you: and I charge you,
O men, for the love you bear to women, (as I perceive
by your simpering, none of you hate* note them,)
that between you and the women, the play may
please6 note
. If I were a woman7 note, I would kiss as many
-- 513 --
of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions
that liked me8 note, and breaths that I defied not9 note: and,
-- 514 --
I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good
faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer,
when I make curt'sy, bid me farewell.
[Exeunt1.
