Launce.
Speed.
Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to
Milan1 note.
Launce.
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for
I am not welcome. I reckon this always—that a
man is never undone, till he be hang'd; nor never
welcome to a place, till some certain shot be paid,
and the hostess say, welcome.
Speed.
Come on, you mad-cap, I'll to the ale-house
with you presently; where, for one shot of
five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes.
But, sirrah, how did thy master part with madam
Julia?
Launce.
Marry, after they closed in earnest,
they parted very fairly in jest.
Speed.
But shall she marry him?
Launce.
No.
Speed.
How then? Shall he marry her?
Launce.
No, neither.
Speed.
What, are they broken?
Launce.
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
-- 58 --
Speed.
Why then, how stands the matter with
them?
Launce.
Marry, thus; when it stands well with
him, it stands well with her.
Speed.
What an ass art thou? I understand thee
not.
Launce.
What a block art thou, that thou canst
not. My staff understands me2 note
.
Speed.
What thou say'st?
Launce.
Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll
but lean, and my staff understands me:
Speed.
It stands under thee, indeed.
Launce.
Why, stand-under and understand is
all one.
Speed.
But tell me true, will't be a match?
Launce.
Ask my dog: if he say, ay, it will; if he
say, no, it will; if he shake his tale, and say nothing,
it will.
Speed.
The conclusion is then, that it will.
Launce.
Thou shalt never get such a secret from
me, but by a parable.
Speed.
'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce,
how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable
love3 note?
-- 59 --
Launce.
I never knew him otherwise.
Speed.
Than how?
Launce.
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him
to be.
Speed.
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistaks't
me.
Launce.
Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant
thy master.
Speed.
I tell thee, my master is become a hot
lover.
Launce.
Why, I tell thee, I care not though he
burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to
the ale-house, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a
Jew4 note, and not worth the name of a Christian.
Speed.
Why?
Launce.
Because thou hast not so much charity
in thee, as to go to the ale5 note
with a Christian: wilt
thou go?
Speed.
At thy service.
[Exeunt.
-- 60 --
6 note
James Boswell [1821], The plays and poems of William Shakspeare, with the corrections and illustrations of various commentators: comprehending A Life of the Poet, and an enlarged history of the stage, by the late Edmond Malone. With a new glossarial index (J. Deighton and Sons, Cambridge) [word count] [S10201].
