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It is to have a subscription-paper handed
you every hour, and to be called a niggard
if you once refuse your name.

It is to eat turkey and drink wine at a
dearer rate than your neighbours.

It is to have every college, infirmary, and
asylum, make a run upon the bank of your
benevolence, and then rail at the smallness
of the dividend.

It is to have sectarians contend for the
keeping of your conscience, and lawyers
struggle for the keeping of your purse.

It is to be taxed for more than you are
worth, and laughed at when you say so.

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It is to have addition of dollars, subtraction
of comforts, and multiplication of anxieties,
end in division among spendthrift
heirs.

It is to add interest to principal, until you
have interest without principle.

It is to pay the tailor for all his bad customers,
and compensate the tradesman for
what he loses by knavery or extravagance.

It is never to be allowed to be on easy
terms even with a coat or a shoe.

It is either to be married for money, or to
have a wife always casting up the sum total
of the fortune she brought.

It is to have your son's steps surrounded
by “man-traps,” and your daughter made a
target for the selfish and speculating to aim at.

It is envy gratis, and friendship bought.

It is to have a dyspeptic wife and pale
children.

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