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James Boswell [1821], The plays and poems of William Shakspeare, with the corrections and illustrations of various commentators: comprehending A Life of the Poet, and an enlarged history of the stage, by the late Edmond Malone. With a new glossarial index (J. Deighton and Sons, Cambridge) [word count] [S10201].
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ACT III. SCENE I. Bangor. A Room in the Archdeacon's House. Enter Hotspur, Worcester, Mortimer, and Glendower.

Mort.
These promises are fair, the parties sure,
And our induction7 note


full of prosperous hope.

Hot.
Lord Mortimer,—and cousin Glendower,—
Will you sit down?—
And, uncle Worcester:—A plague upon it!
I have forgot the map.

Glend.
No, here it is.
Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur:
For by that name as oft as Lancaster
Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale; and, with
A rising sigh, he wisheth you in heaven.

Hot.
And you in hell, as often as he hears
Owen Glendower spoke of.

Glend.
I cannot blame him: at my nativity8 note

,
The front of heaven was full of firy shapes,

-- 304 --


Of burning cressets9 note




; and, at my birth,
The frame and huge foundation of the earth
Shak'd like a coward.

Hot.
Why, so it would have done1 note
At the same season, if your mother's cat had
But kitten'd, though yourself had ne'er been born.

Glend.
I say, the earth did shake when I was born.

Hot.
And I say the earth was not of my mind,
If you suppose, as fearing you it shook.

Glend.
The heavens were all on fire, the earth did tremble.

Hot.
O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire,
And not in fear of your nativity.
Diseased nature2 note oftentimes breaks forth

-- 305 --


In strange eruptions: oft the teeming earth
Is with a kind of colick pinch'd and vex'd
By the imprisoning of unruly wind
Within her womb; which, for enlargement striving,
Shakes the old beldame earth3 note





















, and topples down

-- 306 --


Steeples, and moss-grown towers4 note

. At your birth,
Our grandam earth, having this distemperature,
In passion shook.

Glend.
Cousin, of many men
I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave
To tell you once again,—that at my birth,
The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes;
The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds
Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields5 note


.
These signs have mark'd me extraordinary;
And all the courses of my life do show,
I am not in the roll of common men.
Where is he living,—clipp'd in with the sea
That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales,—
Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me?
And bring him out, that is but woman's son,
Can trace me in the tedious ways of art,

-- 307 --


And hold me pace in deep experiments.

Hot.
I think, there is no man speaks better Welsh:—
I'll to dinner.

Mort.
Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him mad.

Glend.
I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

Hot.
Why, so can I; or so can any man:
But will they come, when you do call for them?

Glend.
Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command the devil.

Hot.
And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil6 note,
By telling truth; Tell truth, and shame the devil.—
If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,
And I'll be sworn, I have power to shame him hence.
O, while you live, tell truth, and shame the devil.

Mort.
Come, come,
No more of this unprofitable chat.

Glend.
Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head
Against my power: thrice from the banks of Wye,
And sandy-bottom'd Severn, have I sent him,
Bootless7 note


home, and weather-beaten back.

Hot.
Home without boots, and in foul weather too!
How 'scapes he agues, in the devil's name?

-- 308 --

Glend.
Come, here's the map; Shall we divide our right,
According to our three-fold order ta'en?

Mort.
The archdeacon hath divided it8 note

Into three limits, very equally:
England, from Trent and Severn hitherto9 note,
By south and east is to my part assign'd:
All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore,
And all the fertile land within that bound,
To Owen Glendower:—and, dear coz, to you
The remnant northward, lying off from Trent.
And our indentures tripartite are drawn:
Which being sealed interchangeably,
(A business that this night may execute,)
To-morrow, cousin Percy, you, and I,
And my good lord of Worcester, will set forth,
To meet your father, and the Scottish power,
As is appointed, us, at Shrewsbury.
My father Glendower is not ready yet,
Nor shall we need his help these fourteen days:—
Within that space, [To Glend.] you may have drawn together
Your tenants, friends, and neighbouring gentlemen.

Glend.
A shorter time shall send me to you, lords,
And in my conduct shall your ladies come:
From whom you now must steal, and take no leave;
For there will be a world of water shed,
Upon the parting of your wives and you.

Hot.
Methinks, my moiety, north from Burton here1 note,

-- 309 --


In quantity equals not one of yours:
See, how this river comes me cranking in2 note



,
And cuts me, from the best of all my land,
A huge half-moon, a monstrous cantle out3 note






.
I'll have the current in this place damm'd up;
And here the smug and silver Trent shall run,
In a new channel, fair and evenly:
It shall not wind with such a deep indent,
To rob me of so rich a bottom here.

Glend.
Not wind? it shall, it must; you see, it doth.

-- 310 --

Mort.
Yea,
But mark, how he bears his course, and runs me up
With like advantage on the other side;
Gelding the opposed continent as much,
As on the other side it takes from you.

Wor.
Yea, but a little charge will trench him here,
And on this north side win this cape of land;
And then he runs straight and even.

Hot.
I'll have it so; a little charge will do it.

Glend.
I will not have it alter'd.

Hot.
Will not you?

Glend.
No, nor you shall not.

Hot.
Who shall say me nay?

Glend.
Why that will I.

Hot.
Let me not understand you then4 note,
Speak it in Welsh.

Glend.
I can speak English, lord, as well as you;
For I was train'd up in the English court5 note

:

-- 311 --


Where, being but young, I framed to the harp
Many an English ditty, lovely well,
And gave the tongue6 note

a helpful ornament;
A virtue that was never seen in you.

Hot.
Marry, and I'm glad of it with all my heart;
I had rather be a kitten, and cry—mew,
Than one of these same metre ballad-mongers:
I had rather hear a brazen canstick turn'd7 note








,
Or a dry wheel grate on an axle-tree;
And that would set my teeth nothing on edge,
Nothing so much as mincing poetry;
'Tis like the forc'd gait of a shuffling nag.

Glend.
Come, you shall have Trent turn'd.

Hot.
I do not care: I'll give thrice so much land
To any well-deserving friend;

-- 312 --


But, in the way of bargain, mark ye me,
I'll cavil on the ninth part of a hair.
Are the indentures drawn? shall we be gone?

Glend.
The moon shines fair, you may away by night:
I'll in and haste the writer8 note









, and withal,
Break with your wives of your departure hence:
I am afraid my daughter will run mad,
So much she doteth on her Mortimer. [Exit.

Mort.
Fye, cousin Percy! how you cross my father!

Hot.
I cannot choose: sometimes he angers me,
With telling me of the moldwarp and the ant9 note








,

-- 313 --


Of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies; note


And of a dragon and a finless fish,
A clip-wing'd griffin, and a moulten raven,
A couching lion, and a ramping cat,
And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff1 note

As puts me from my faith. I tell you what,—
He held me, last night, at least nine hours2 note,
In reckoning up the several devils' names3 note,
That were his lackeys: I cried, humph,—and well,—go to4 note,—

-- 314 --


But mark'd him not a word. O, he's as tedious
As is a tired horse, a railing wife;
Worse than a smoky house5 note



:—I had rather live
With cheese and garlick, in a windmill, far,
Than feed on cates, and have him talk to me,
In any summer-house in Christendom.

Mort.
In faith, he is a worthy gentleman;
Exceedingly well read, and profited
In strange concealments6 note
; valiant as a lion,
And wondrous affable; and as bountiful
As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin?
He holds your temper in a high respect,
And curbs himself even of his natural scope,
When you do cross his humour; 'faith, he does:
I warrant you, that man is not alive,
Might so have tempted him as you have done,
Without the taste of danger and reproof;
But do not use it oft, let me entreat you.

Wor.
In faith, my lord, you are too wilfulblame7 note



;

-- 315 --


And since your coming hither have done enough
To put him quite beside his patience.
You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault:
Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, blood,
(And that's the dearest grace it renders you,)
Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,
Defect of manners, want of government,
Pride, haughtiness, opinion8 note, and disdain:
The least of which, haunting a nobleman,
Loseth men's hearts; and leaves behind a stain
Upon the beauty of all parts besides,
Beguiling them of commendation.

Hot.
Well, I am school'd; good manners be your speed!
Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.
Re-enter Glendower, with the Ladies.

Mort.
This is the deadly spite that angers me,—
My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh.

Glend.
My daughter weeps; she will not part with you,
She'll be a soldier too, she'll to the wars.

Mort.
Good father, tell her,—that she, and my aunt Percy,
Shall follow in your conduct speedily.
[Glendower speaks to his Daughter in Welsh, and she answers him in the same.

Glend.
She's desperate here; a peevish self-will'd harlotry9 note
,
One that no persuasion1 note can do good upon.
[Lady M. speaks to Mortimer in Welsh.

-- 316 --

Mort.
I understand thy looks: that pretty Welsh
Which thou pourest down from these swelling heavens2 note

,
I am too perfect in; and, but for shame,
In such a parley would I answer thee. [Lady M. speaks.
I understand thy kisses, and thou mine,
And that's a feeling disputation3 note:
But I will never be a truant, love,
Till I have learn'd thy language; for thy tongue
Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penn'd,
Sung by a fair queen in a summer's bower4 note,
With ravishing division, to her lute5 note



.

-- 317 --

Glend.
Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad6 note
.
[Lady M. speaks again.

Mort.
O, I am ignorance itself in this7 note

.

Glend.
She bids you on the wanton rushes lay you down8 note



,
And rest your gentle head upon her lap,
And she will sing the song that pleaseth you,
And on your eye-lids crown the god of sleep9 note















,

-- 318 --


Charming your blood with pleasing heaviness;
Making such difference 'twixt wake and sleep1 note,
As is the difference betwixt day and night,
The hour before the heavenly-harness'd team
Begins his golden progress in the east.

Mort.
With all my heart I'll sit, and hear her sing:
By that time will our book2 note, I think, be drawn.

Glend.
Do so;
And those musicians that shall play to you,
Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence;
And straight they shall be here3 note

: sit, and attend.

-- 319 --

Hot.

Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down: Come, quick, quick; that I may lay my head in thy lap.

Lady P.

Go, ye giddy goose.

Glendower speaks some Welsh words, and then the Musick plays.

Hot.
Now I perceive, the devil understands Welsh;
And 'tis no marvel, he's so humorous.
By'r-lady, he's a good musician.

Lady P.

Then should you be nothing but musical; for you are altogether governed by humours. Lie still, ye thief, and hear the lady sing in Welsh.

Hot.

I had rather hear Lady, my brach, howl in Irish.

Lady P.

Would'st thou have thy head broken?

Hot.

No.

Lady P.

Then be still.

Hot.

Neither; 'tis a woman's fault4 note




.

-- 320 --

Lady P.

Now God help thee!

Hot.

To the Welsh lady's bed.

Lady P.

What's that?

Hot.

Peace! she sings.

A Welsh Song sung by Lady M.

Hot.

Come, Kate, I'll have your song too.

Lady P.

Not mine, in good sooth.

Hot.

Not yours, in good sooth! 'Heart, you swear like a comfit-maker's wife! Not you, in good sooth; and, As true as I live; and, As God shall mend me; and, As sure as day:


And giv'st such sarcenet surety for thy oaths,
As if thou never walk'dst further than Finsbury5 note


.
Swear me, Kate, like a lady, as thou art,
A good mouth-filling oath; and leave in sooth,
And such protest of pepper-gingerbread6 note

,
To velvet-guards7 note






, and Sunday-citizens.

Come, sing.

-- 321 --

Lady P.

I will not sing.

Hot.

'Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be red-breast teacher8 note

. An the indentures be drawn, I'll

-- 322 --

away within these two hours; and so come in when ye will.

[Exit.

Glend.
Come, come, lord Mortimer; you are as slow,
As hot lord Percy is on fire to go.
By this our book's drawn9 note

; we'll but seal, and then
To horse immediately.

Mort.
With all my heart.
[Exeunt.

-- 323 --

SCENE II. London. A Room in the Palace. Enter King Henry, Prince of Wales, and Lords.

K. Hen.
Lords, give us leave; the Prince of Wales and I,
Must have some private conference: But be near at hand1 note,
For we shall presently have need of you.— [Exeunt Lords.
I know not whether God will have it so,
For some displeasing service2 note I have done,
That in his secret doom, out of my blood
He'll breed revengement and a scourge for me;
But thou dost, in thy passages of life3 note,
Make me believe,—that thou art only mark'd
For the hot vengeance and the rod of heaven,
To punish my mis-treadings. Tell me else,
Could such inordinate, and low desires,
Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts4 note






,

-- 324 --


Such barren pleasures, rude society,
As thou art match'd withal, and grafted to,
Accompany the greatness of thy blood,
And hold their level with thy princely heart?

P. Hen
So please your majesty, I would, I could
Quit all offences with as clear excuse,
As well as, I am doubtless, I can purge
Myself of many I am charg'd withal:
Yet such extenuation let me beg5 note,
As, in reproof of many tales devis'd6 note,—
Which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,—
By smiling pick-thanks7 note


and base newsmongers,
I may, for some things true, wherein my youth
Hath faulty wander'd and irregular,
Find pardon on my true submission.

K. Hen.
God pardon thee!—yet let me wonder, Harry,
At thy affections, which do hold a wing
Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors.

-- 325 --


Thy place in council thou hast rudely lost8 note

,
Which by thy younger brother is supplied;
And art almost an alien to the hearts
Of all the court and princes of my blood:
The hope and expectation of thy time
Is ruin'd; and the soul of every man
Prophetically does fore-think thy fall.
Had I so lavish of my presence been,
So common-hackney'd in the eyes of men,
So stale and cheap to vulgar company;
Opinion, that did help me to the crown,
Had still kept loyal to possession9 note;
And left me in reputeless banishment,
A fellow of no mark, nor likelihood.
By being seldom seen, I could not stir,
But, like a comet, I was wonder'd at:
That men would tell their children, This is he;
Others would say,—Where? which is Bolingbroke?
And then I stole all courtesy from heaven1 note











,

-- 326 --


And dress'd myself in such humility,
That I did pluck allegiance from men's hearts2 note





,

-- 327 --


Loud shouts and salutations from their mouths,
Even in the presence of the crowned king.
Thus did I keep my person fresh, and new;
My presence, like a robe pontifical,
Ne'er seen, but wonder'd at3 note



: and so my state,
Seldom, but sumptuous, showed like a feast;
And won, by rareness, such solemnity.
The skipping king, he ambled up and down
With shallow jesters, and rash bavin wits4 note


,
Soon kindled, and soon burn'd: carded his state5 note





;

-- 328 --


Mingled his royalty with capering fools6 note












;
Had his great name profaned with their scorns;

-- 329 --


And gave his countenance, against his name7 note

,
To laugh at gibing boys8 note, and stand the push

-- 330 --


Of every beardless vain comparative9 note






:
Grew a companion to the common streets,
Enfeoff'd himself to popularity1 note

:
That being daily swallow'd by men's eyes2 note
,

-- 331 --


They surfeited with honey; and began
To loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a little
More than a little is by much too much.
So, when he had occasion to be seen,
He was but as the cuckoo is in June,
Heard, not regarded; seen, but with such eyes,
As, sick and blunted with community,
Afford no extraordinary gaze,
Such as is bent on sun-like majesty
When it shines seldom in admiring eyes:
But rather drowz'd, and hung their eye-lids down,
Slept in his face, and render'd such aspéct
As cloudy men use to their adversaries3 note
;
Being with his presence glutted, gorg'd, and full.
And in that very line, Harry, standest thou4 note
:
For thou hast lost thy princely privilege,
With vile participation; not an eye
But is a-weary of thy common sight,
Save mine, which hath desir'd to see thee more;
Which now doth that I would not have it do,
Make blind itself with foolish tenderness.

P. Hen.
I shall hereafter, my thrice-gracious lord,
Be more myself.

K. Hen.
For all the world5 note
,

-- 332 --


As thou art to this hour, was Richard then
When I from France set foot at Ravenspurg;
And even as I was then, is Percy now.
Now by my scepter, and my soul to boot,
He hath more worthy interest to the state,
Than thou, the shadow of succession6 note




:
For, of no right, nor colour like to right,
He doth fill fields with harness in the realm;
Turns head against the lion's armed jaws;
And, being no more in debt to years than thou,
Leads ancient lords and reverend bishops on,
To bloody battles, and to bruising arms.
What never-dying honour hath he got
Against renowned Douglas; whose high deeds,
Whose hot incursions, and great name in arms,
Holds from all soldiers chief majority,
And military title capital,
Through all the kingdoms that acknowledge Christ?
Thrice hath this Hotspur Mars in swathing clothes,
This infant warrior in his enterprizes

-- 333 --


Discomfited great Douglas: ta'en him once,
Enlarged him, and made a friend of him,
To fill the mouth of deep defiance up,
And shake the peace and safety of our throne.
And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland,
The archbishop's grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer,
Capitulate7 note

against us, and are up.
But wherefore do I tell these news to thee?
Why, Harry, do I tell thee of my foes,
Which art my near'st and dearest8 note enemy?
Thou that art like enough,—through vassal fear,
Base inclination, and the start of spleen,—
To fight against me under Percy's pay,
To dog his heels, and court'sy at his frowns,
To show how much degenerate thou art.

P. Hen.
Do not think so, you shall not find it so;
And God forgive them, that have so much sway'd
Your majesty's good thoughts away from me!
I will redeem all this on Percy's head,
And, in the closing of some glorious day,
Be bold to tell you, that I am your son;
When I will wear a garment all of blood,
And stain my favours in a bloody mask9 note






,

-- 334 --


Which, wash'd away, shall scour my shame with it.
And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,
That this same child of honour and renown,
This gallant Hotspur, this all-praised knight,
And your unthought-of Harry, chance to meet:
For every honour sitting on his helm,
'Would they were multitudes; and on my head
My shames redoubled! for the time will come,
That I shall make this northern youth exchange
His glorious deeds for my indignities.
Percy is but my factor, good my lord,
To engross up glorious deeds on my behalf;
And I will call him to so strict account,
That he shall render every glory up,
Yea, even the slightest worship of his time,
Or I will tear the reckoning from his heart.
This, in the name of God, I promise here:
The which if he be pleas'd I shall perform,
I do beseech your majesty, may salve
The long-grown wounds of my intemperance:

-- 335 --


If not, the end of life cancels all bands1 note




;
And I will die a hundred thousand deaths,
Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow.

K. Hen.
A hundred thousand rebels die in this:
Thou shalt have charge, and sovereign trust, herein. Enter Blunt.
How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed.

Blunt.
So hath the business that I come to speak of2 note.
Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word3 note,—
That Douglas, and the English rebels, met,

-- 336 --


The eleventh of this month, at Shrewsbury:
A mghty and a fearful head they are,
If promises be kept on every hand,
As ever offer'd foul play in a state.

K. Hen.
The earl of Westmoreland set forth today;
With him my son, lord John of Lancaster;
For this advertisement is five days old:—
On Wednesday next, Harry, you shall set forward;
On Thursday, we ourselves will march:
Our meeting is Bridgnorth: and, Harry, you
Shall march through Glostershire; by which account,
Our business valued, some twelve days hence
Our general forces at Bridgnorth shall meet.
Our hands are full of business: let's away;
Advantage feeds him fat4 note



, while men delay. [Exeunt. SCENE III. Eastcheap. A Room in the Boar's Head Tavern. Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal.

Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why, my skin hangs about me like an old lady's loose gown5 note
; I am wither'd like an old apple-John.
Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in

-- 337 --

some liking6 note


; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I am a pepper-corn, a brewer's horse7 note



: the inside

-- 338 --

of a church8 note! Company, villainous company, hath been the spoil of me.

Bard.

Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot ive long.

Fal.

Why, there is it:—come, sing me a bawdy song; make me merry. I was as virtuously given, as a gentleman need to be; virtuous enough: swore little; diced, not above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house not above once in a quarter—of an hour; paid money that I borrowed, three or four times; lived well, and in good compass: and now I live out of all order, out of all compass.

Bard.

Why, you are so fat, sir John, that you must needs be out of all compass; out of all reasonable compass, sir John.

Fal.

Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life: Thou art our admiral9 note

, thou bearest the
lantern in the poop,—but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the knight of the burning lamp1 note

.

-- 339 --

Bard.

Why, sir John, my face does you no harm.

Fal.

No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a death's head, or a memento mori: I never see thy face, but I think upon hell-fire, and Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oath should be, By this fire2 note: but thou art altogether given over; and wert indeed, but for the light in thy face, the son of utter darkness. When thou ran'st up Gads-hill in the night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou had'st been an ignis fatuus, or a ball of wildfire, there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a perpetual triumph3 note




, an everlasting bonfire-light! Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links and torches4 note





, walking with

-- 340 --

thee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hast drunk me, would have bought me lights as good cheap5 note









, at the dearest chandler's
in Europe. I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire, any time this two and thirty years; Heaven reward me for it!

Bard.

'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly.

-- 341 --

Fal.

God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart-burned.

Enter Hostess.

How now, dame Partlet6 note the hen? have you inquired yet, who picked my pocket?

Host.

Why, sir John! what do you think, sir John? Do you think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched, I have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair was never lost in my house before.

Fal.

You lie, hostess; Bardolph was shaved, and lost many a hair: and I'll be sworn, my pocket was picked: Go to, you are a woman, go.

Host.

Who I? I defy thee: I was never called so in mine own house before.

Fal.

Go to, I know you well enough.

Host.

No, sir John; you do not know me, sir John: I know you, sir John: you owe me money, sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back.

Fal.

Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away to bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them.

Host.

Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight shillings an ell7 note. You owe money here besides,

-- 342 --

sir John, for your diet, and by-drinkings6 note, and money lent you, four and twenty pound.

Fal.

He had his part of it; let him pay.

Host.

He? alas, he is poor; he hath nothing.

Fal.

How! poor? look upon his face; What call you rich7 note? let them coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks; I'll not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker of me8 note



? shall I not take mine ease in mine inn, but I shall have my pocket picked9 note







?

-- 343 --

I have lost a seal-ring of my grandfather's, worth forty mark1 note.

Host.

O Jesu! I have heard the prince tell him, I know not how oft, that that ring was copper.

Fal.

How! the prince is a Jack2 note

, a sneak-cup;

-- 344 --

An he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he would say so.

Enter Prince Henry and Poins, marching. Falstaff meets the Prince, playing on his truncheon, like a fife.

Fal.

How now, lad? is the wind in that door, i' faith? must we all march?

Bard.

Yea, two and two, Newgate-fashion3 note

?

Host.

My lord, I pray you, hear me.

P. Hen.

What sayest thou, mistress Quickly? How does thy husband? I love him well, he is an honest man.

Host.

Good my lord, hear me.

Fal.

Pry'thee let her alone, and list to me.

P. Hen.

What sayest thou, Jack?

Fal.

The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket picked: this house is turned bawdy-house, they pick pockets.

P. Hen.

What didst thou lose, Jack?

Fal.

Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds of forty pound a-piece, and a seal ring of my grandfather's.

P. Hen.

A trifle, some eight-penny matter.

Host.

So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard your grace say so: And, my lord, he speaks

-- 345 --

most vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said, he would cudgel you.

P. Hen.

What! he did not?

Host.

There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.

Fal.

There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune4 note

; nor no more truth in thee, than in

-- 346 --

a drawn fox5 note


; and for womanhood, maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee6 note











. Go,
you thing, go.

-- 347 --

Host.

Say, what thing? what thing?

Fal.

What thing? why, a thing to thank God on.

Host.

I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou should'st know it; I am an honest man's wife: and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so.

Fal.

Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise.

Host.

Say, what beast, thou knave thou?

-- 348 --

Fal.

What beast? why an otter.

P. Hen.

An otter, sir John! why an otter?

Fal.

Why? she's neither fish nor flesh7 note; a man knows not where to have her.

Host.

Thou art an unjust man in saying so; thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave thou!

P. Hen.

Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly.

Host.

So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day, you ought him a thousand pound.

P. Hen.

Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?

Fal.

A thousand pound, Hal? a million: thy love is worth a million; thou owest me thy love.

Host.

Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said he would cudgel you.

Fal.

Did I, Bardolph?

Bard.

Indeed, sir John, you said so.

Fal.

Yea; if he said, my ring was copper.

P. Hen.

I say, 'tis copper: Darest thou be as good as thy word now?

Fal.

Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare: but, as thou art prince, I fear thee, as I fear the roaring of the lion's whelp.

P. Hen.

And why not, as the lion.

Fal.

The king himself is to be feared as the lion: Dost thou think, I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, an I do, I pray God, my girdle break8 note









!

-- 349 --

P. Hen.

O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith, truth, nor honesty, in this bosom of thine; it is filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket! Why, thou whoreson, impudent, embossed rascal9 note


, if there were any thing in thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums of bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of sugar-candy to make thee long winded; if thy pocket were enriched with any other injuries but these, I am a villain1 note. And yet you will stand to it; you will not pocket up wrong2 note: Art thou not ashamed?

Fal.

Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the state of innocency, Adam fell; and what should poor Jack Falstaff do, in the days of villainy? Thou seest, I have more flesh than another man; and therefore more frailty.—You confess then, you picked my pocket?

P. Hen.

It appears so by the story.

-- 350 --

Fal.

Hostess, I forgive thee: Go, make ready breakfast; love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason: thou seest, I am pacified.—Still? —Nay, pr'ythee, be gone. [Exit Hostess.] Now, Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery, lad,— How is that answered?

P. Hen.

O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to thee:—The money is paid back again.

Fal.

O, I do not like that paying back, 'tis a double labour.

P. Hen.

I am good friends with my father, and may do any thing.

Fal.

Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou doest, and do it with unwashed hands too3 note






.

Bard.

Do, my lord.

P. Hen.

I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.

Fal.

I would, it had been of horse. Where shall

-- 351 --

I find one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the age of two and twenty, or thereabouts! I am heinously unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these rebels, they offend none but the virtuous; I laud them, I praise them.

P. Hen.

Bardolph—

Bard.

My lord.

P. Hen.
Go bear this letter to lord John of Lancaster,
My brother John; this to my lord of Westmoreland.—
Go, Poins, to horse4 note

, to horse; for thou, and I,
Have thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.—
Jack,
Meet me to-morrow i' the Temple-hall
At two o'clock i' the afternoon:
There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receive
Money, and order for their furniture.
The land is burning; Percy stands on high;
And either they, or we, must lower lie. [Exeunt Prince, Poins, and Bardolph.

Fal.
Rare words! brave world!—Hostess, my breakfast; come:—
O, I could wish, this tavern were my drum.
[Exit.

-- 352 --

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James Boswell [1821], The plays and poems of William Shakspeare, with the corrections and illustrations of various commentators: comprehending A Life of the Poet, and an enlarged history of the stage, by the late Edmond Malone. With a new glossarial index (J. Deighton and Sons, Cambridge) [word count] [S10201].
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